Sailor in the Blues

Looking off from the shore,
You had some clear intents,
The unpredictable winds,
Preluded certain events.
That was quite long ago,
Today you're hanging to hope,
I sense the longing in you
For all that's left to explore.

A little glimpse at the past,
Is what you go on to take,
But it still hurts to think about
What put it all at stake.
The pain attached to the mast,
Of your ship dead in its path,
Yet you've been sailing along,
Your hull determined to last.

You've been riding with the devil,
He's been calling you 'dude',
But from behind the rocking waves
He just thinks you're a fool.
But you should already know,
To validate what you are,
You got to search in your heart,
Don't let this doubt pull you down,
Just ride the waves until far.

Crewmates no longer with you,
Still wish you find your way through,
Treasures you hope to discover,
Are out there waiting for you.
Now let me hop on aboard,
Let's calm the storm in the blues,
So you can finally see them
Painted vermillion hues.

Reviews

[John the Baptist]

I get the sense that the maritime references, while they may be part of the speaker's life, are used metaphorically in this work. I also get the sense the speaker has been through some setbacks in the past, which, while painful, have not completely demoralized him. He seems to know he followed some false paths (riding with the devil), but now he's trying to right himself and claim the victories that are still available. I wish him luck; too many give up after experiencing some of life's batterings.

[Archishman Rick]

Thank you for this insightful review. I very much agree with it. And thanks alot for wishing said person luck. I really like to make these metaphorical, rhyming and also deeply abstract at times, some of my other writings may seem unrelatable haha. It's all open to interpretation of the reader, as intended.

[Chris Shaw]

These lines are very much steeped in blues. Things that trouble us, make life difficult, but here I found some determination to overcome that darkness. I detected a distinct change of colour towards the end of your poem. It ended on a more uplifting and encouraging note.

Chris

[Archishman Rick]

Thanks for your great review. The blues are where we can find clues to see different hues :)

[Chris Shaw]

Too right :)

[Kari Rakitan]

This piece is full of hope. It reminds me of something I used to say about life: "The adventure continues." Even when things are going wrong, life is still an adventure, and even the tragedies are part of it. We may lose people along the way, but more people will enter our lives, and we'll always have someone to share the journey with.

[Archishman Rick]

Absolutely, let's walk our paths with inspiration and keep the hope lit. No matter what path we have chosen, as long there is conviction and positive intent, there is a reason to strive and be inspired. Thanks for the nice review. The adventure continues.

[CD Campbell]

So. I agree with what John said below as far as the substance, except I'll add that I enjoyed it and thought it was an exceptional write .

The poem has eight lines in each stanza except for the third, which has nine. No big deal, I like to call that the rusty nail, an intentional imperfection. It's an emphasis on what you're trying to say and draws attention. Rhymes are good with some true and half rhymes, meter was pretty close, but counting stressed and non stressed syllable would take away from the work . So no worries on that front. All in all it is a really strong poem. Nice work by you.

It's nice to make your acquaintance. Have a good one. CD

[Archishman Rick]

Thanks man, I really appreciate the positive feedback. I did indeed intentionally let the third stanza be of nine lines. I'm not really familiar with esoterics of poetry, but you surely are, and I'm glad you deem this poem fit for praise. Nice to make your acquaintance too.