Sins of Forbidden Love Pt 2

What's up with Dios, some of his backstory

-Betrothed-

Sins of Forbidden Love

Pt 2

... and if through despair one sings

The parable of darkness swells free

A light I can no longer see

A spirit tainted beyond belief

My heart is tainted

My dreams impure

Regret colors my fingers

Loathing tarnishes my soul ...

 Dios's fingers moved across the strings, strumming them, his voice a depressingly melodious swell over each sweet, pure note the instrument intoned. A crystal pinging noise; it was clear and strong, a drastic contrast to the words that left his perfectly pink, expertly puckered lips. Like the naive child it sung out free of sorrow, free of the burden that darkened the singer from which the song drew its power from, its soul. The notes floated and melded, harmonizing in a synchronistic union, one that went beyond that which could be easily seen. That which could be understood with the naked eye. Or even those who believed themselves experts of the laws of the spirit.

 Indeed it was as if a cloud stood over him, forcing him to bask in a spirit crushing, mind numbing, tear inducing gray. One that made all colors seem to blend, to melt into pastels, sucking away the life and jubilation that at one time might have been attributed to him. Though it can also be said (and would be true) that even in his better days he remained caustic and narcissistic. It can only be blamed on the fact that everything was handed to him on a silver platter. A mistake the royals were blind to fix, in reality blind to even see.

 No, they had been too busy running the kingdom, fulfilling everyone else's desires: "Oh Mi'lord please spare us some seed for our farms." "Oh! Mi'lady my wee little welp is ill, please spare 'im a doctor!" Ever the caring dictators, the positive monarchs, the ones that ruled the people into a golden age. Yes they had been too busy for poor little Dios. The King's B*****d. The Mistake of the Kingdom. An embarrassment. A well kept secret. Those days had been the hardest for the boy.

 It wasn't like the King and Queen had purposefully neglected him, it just slipped their minds. They left him to the wet nurses, the maids, the servants and butlers. They were the ones who attended his every need, fulfilled his every desire, filled him to the brim with anything his mind could think of. There were no limits, no end to what could be accomplished with a few choice words... well when he finally learned to talk.

 That was the other thing, for the longest Don and Sally feared him mute and dumb. He did nothing but stare into space and scream. They thought his lack of mental development meant him less capable than other children. Another reason to keep him hidden. A subconscious truth that the royals played into against what reason told them.

 In all actuality it was just the only way Dios knew to get his parents attention. All he wanted was to be loved, to be noticed. Held. Sang to. Spoken to. By his parents.

 No amount of material wealth could mask that single base urge.

 It can be supposed that Dios's seemingly uncharacteristically self centered ways can only be explained as another form in which the now walking and talking older boy lashed out. An act. Another way he felt he could gain attention. For that's what he craved; by this time Triton had been born, another distraction from himself, and Triton, unlike himself, was not a disappointment.

 Time passed and slowly yet surely Dios did more and more to try and show himself worthy of attention. He showed an interest in the arts, excelling in music; he would try to perform for his parents but they would always brush him aside. They didn't have time for trivial things like entertainment. It was not becoming of a royal to be so invested in comedic interests. It was not befitting of a future king (for at this time he still was the heir). He should be spending more time learning strategy and combat, less time in the clouds and looking pretty. There would be no time for that in war.

 It broke Dios's heart it did. It hurt all the more knowing that he couldn't truly hate his parents either. They never beat him, never denied him his clothes or make-up or any of the other myriad of things most would deem "queer" or "unusual" or "unnatural" for a boy to desire. He couldn't hate them, because... they wouldn't listen.

 They never listened.

 Only Shep would.

 Dios stopped playing and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, baby soft smooth skin brushing away the salty liquid sorrow that threatened to spill from the confines of his seeing oriphices. And returns the guilt. The stabbing pain that lodged itself in his chest like a poisoned bolt. A thing that ate at the inside of ones body and mind until they went insane. He betrayed his family yes, but his family hadn't ever really cared about him. All of them but Shep, and Dios had ruthlessly stabbed the sea prince in the back with hardly a second thought. How could he?

 His shoulders began to shake, a deranged smile on his lips. What was wrong with him? Was he going crazy? Ha! A bubbling laugh. Forced through sealed lips. He laughed through his tears, a hysterical sounding psychosis of the spirit. Or perhaps the mind. It was easy. Obvious. He knew why. Because he was jealous, because his youngest brother had something he did not. He had love. Shep'd always been loved; he was father's favorite, he was a favorite among the servants and even his mother had a special place just for him in her heart.

 Dios placed the lyre in his hands shakily to the side, resting it beside him and bit his lip. Blood welled where tooth met flesh, pushing, ripping, puncturing through sensitive nerve endings and tissue to the soft insides below. He still couldn't help the anger that swept through him at the thought of everything that went Shep's way. He could do no wrong, and wrong refused to follow him. Or even show him its blasted face. Yet everything Dios did ended in disappointment or an upturned nose or a downtrodden expression.

 What did he ever do to deserve that?

 Live?

 Red hair hung low over his face. Dios's mouth set in a trembling line. An aura of darkness settled over him. Wind shifted the pages of his notebook, ruffled through his clothes and caressed his cheeks. It made him feel even colder. Emptier. Just like the city in which he resided.

 Geata Ifreann had claimed his soul.

Author's Note

Pt 2 of the third Arc

Reviews

[SpeedyHobbit Armstrong]

Oh, Dios, you are quite the interesting brainchild of Tsukin! i definitely pity the kids A lot of sadness shows through here

[Tsukin Archangel]

Yeppp my babies are angsty little people. Dios is probably one of my most interesting characters, because I myself go back and forth between hating his guts and just feeling incredibly sorry for him.

[crystalandra]

An excellent chapter! I can't help but feel sorry for Dios since all he ever wanted was love from his parents...He is also feeling guilt for what he did against his brother...Wow, you really do know how to build atmosphere in your story. Well done!

[Tsukin Archangel]

Lol thanks! Annndddd the martyrdom begins. *Sigh* It seems to be unavoidable. Honestly Dios is my least favorite character in this story I just innately hate him BUT I CANT KILL HIM! So he comes across kinda Cersei Lannister like and you end up just kinda feeling bad for him and maybe mildly respecting him. Anyway GLAD YOU LIKED IT SO FAR!

[Coyote Poetry]

The chapter is amazing. I like the places and the situation in the chapter. Your describe each scene with skill. I believe every story the reader want detail. Your story does. I will have to read the whole story. I will have time tonight. Always a pleasure to read your amazing tale.
Coyote

[Tsukin Archangel]

Thanks!!! Yeah I try to depict everything as clearly as possible on paper as it is in my head, so I'm glad that it's coming across that way! I do hope you'll enjoy the rest of it :3