A man named Paul

I don't know if it is an advantage or disadvantage of The Magical Realism, it disables you, as the writer, to provide any kind of "short description" about your work!

So, I've heard a short story about a man named Paul. So, this Paul was quite a handsome man in his mid-30 who happened to be quite a wealthy man too.

 

So is said that when he opened his first factory, he ordered his men to fill its walls with mirrors so he could see and adore his handsomeness whenever he passes them by. He also ordered them to buy him a new big house. He told them to install many mirrors on the walls of the house too. So his men installed 30 mirrors in his house.

 

It is said that when he started living in the new house, he encountered a problem. He woke up in the first morning and went to the bathroom to wash up his face. He then looked into the mirror and got shocked by what he saw; the man in the mirror wasn't handsome that much, he was rather a bit ugly and his face was deformed.

So he came out of the bathroom and looked into a mirror on the wall of the hallway. The man there, was not a handsome man too; one of his eyes was a bit lower than the other.

So, Paul got so angry and ran down the stairs furiously to check the mirrors of the large front room, and realized that all the mirrors there were showing him ugly, either. So he got even angrier because he knew he was so handsome and not ugly.

 

So, he ordered his men to break all the mirrors that showed him ugly, meaning all the 30 mirrors installed in the house. Then, when he went to the factory and encountered the same problem there, he ordered his men to break all the mirrors of the factory too, which were 100 mirrors.

His men, his workers and the other people thought he's suffering from a kind of a mental disorder. When he died in a car accident the following year, people said Paul-The Psycho is dead.

 

Several years later, scientists and engineers found a new method for burnishing the glass and removing its inelegance and malformations in order to make it reflex the exact image of everything that is in front of it.  

 

The end

Author's Note

Again, I'm waiting for your opinions in grammar and structure, ans also the way it makes you feel

Reviews

[T A Stanley]

I like the concept behind it, it did take me a while to figure out the point of the story, but it made me think about what people see in themselves, and how that can change, as such depression can change a man's mindset and only look for the bad points in life or his "reflection".
There are some points in the story where the wording is slightly off, as such "piss" I find it a too colloquial word to be used. The tone of the story dictates something more elegant, such as "used the facility's".
Some parts are worded slightly strange, this may be intended I don't really know, but I do like the story, reading it again it makes more sense.

[Arash Y]

thanks for the comment. Although using "piss" is intended but I accept that it could unnecessarily divert the reader's attention. The strange wording IS intended, yes. I'm glad you liked it

[Albarrak]

Hello
it nice story .
Did you know how many times you used the word "So" ? = 9 times , try to avoid using the same word a lot.

[Arash Y]

thank for the comment. That over-usage is intended but I think I can reduce it somehow.

[JuniperPearl]

I enjoyed this. I like the play on vanity and perception. Yes, the man was vain, but he seemed to see the truth in the mirror that no one else did. (he saw an old man, but if he didn't look like that why didn't any one else either; then why did they not point this out to him; why find him crazy?, Maybe *they* couldn't see the truth etc...). I like to think of the mirrors as a representatives for a society that is stuck in a rut and doesn nothing to change itself because it can't even see the problem. Years later, when the cleaning technique comes out, by a visionary no doubt, the issue is magically fixed. Good read

OK....so constructive criticism:
-As stated below by another reviewer, I too feel "piss" is too vulgar of a word. I don't think it fits with the feel of the rest of the story and brings the tone down a level.
-I noticed the odd word order at times. I think it works ONLY because it's such a brief story. It gives the story character and a poetic feel. I think it would not work in a longer piece. Oddity in dialogue is fine, but oddity in narration doesn't always appeal to the reader.
-Big question for me: Why does he know that the mirrors are wrong??? It could be that he's just that vain, but I think this should be explained. Has he seen his real image before? Have others just told him of his image. I don't think adding this information would change your theme/plot. I think it would add depth an meaning.

Overall, good read, seems a little unfinished, but I really did like it. I hope I didn't come across as harsh, I just promised some analysis so I gave it.

[Arash Y]

Thanks for your comment dear J.P. I removed that "piss" and thanks for re-mentioning it. and Yes, I think I'm spontaneously affected by American poetry and you're right, it doesn't work in longer pieces.
I leave your questions unanswered cuz I personally believe that giving more explanation is like chewing the food before putting it into the reader's mouth!
I suggest you read this piece at least one more time and try to answer your questions using your own perceptions. It'll work, I promise :) And I'm glad you liked the concept

[JuniperPearl]

You're very welcome. I did enjoy it very much. I'm glad that you found my comments helpful! Keep writing, I look forward to reading more!