A Box of Her Own

This poem kind of expounds on the idea of "don't fix me; I'm not broken."

(AN: I have tweaked little things here and there to fix the rhyme scheme and hopefully make it flow better.)

She lived alone in her little space.

Day after day stretched the silence.

She tried her best to hide her face

From a world so chaotic and tense.

 

At first they looked at her and laughed,

“Why would anyone want to spend

Days in a box?  She must be daft!

She must just need help following the trend.”

 

So they made it their mission

to “help” her out of the box

she had so carefully made.  They had a vision

of her in pink with curly, blond locks.

 

They covered her with glitter,

But it fell right to the ground.

Next they tried to teach her to talk

without substance.  She made no sound.

 

They tried their best to change her,

But she stayed serenely the same.

So they went to find her a man.

“You need two to play this game.”

Tall, handsome, rich, and tan,

he smiled slyly at the girl.

She felt nothing for this man;

his glance couldn’t set her heart awhirl.

 

Instead, by chance she looked and discerned

 there was a box much like her own.

At that she smiled sweetly and turned,

knowing she was not alone.

 

Frustrated, they gave up and she

returned to her box.  And though

she bolted the door securely,

she cut open one small window.

 

Back in her life with nothing too wild,

she sighed contentedly.  Alone

every morning, she glanced out and smiled

at the boy in a box of his own.

Reviews

[Last Lying Look]

Wow. I really love the concept of this. How everyone is trying to change this girl who seems to have put up a brick wall and won't really let anyone in [or at least certain types of people] and then they finally realize that she won't change and then she sees someone who is like her and smiles. I love it! Great work:)

-Elissa

[~angelalala~]

i loved this poem. very creative & deep. to me it spoke of being different, of being an original, & of the way people want everyone to be the same and are frightened of 'different'. i love the way this girl refused to give in, refused to give up her 'box'. and i especially LOVED the last 2 stanzas. alone, yet not, for she had a window now, & could look across & see the boy in his own box. this poem is brilliant. one of the best.

[Lee E. Powell]

I really dislike poetry. And I don't even own any poetry, except for Poe of course and If i was ever forced to sit and write poetry with any substance at all, I'd probably just start bleeding out my ears!

But I really loved this one... WOW.
I loved the girl in the box. Why do we feel the need to change people?
Thanks for sharing this,
Lee

[Emily B]

Here it is:

sel does not need your boxes

[Raef C. Boylan]

This is great commentary on the way society misinterprets individuality as being in need of rescue: anyone who enjoys their own company needs pulling out of their shell etc. I liked how there is hope at the end, because she is pleased with the idea of the boy who has also created his own box. I wonder if she wants to meet him, or just likes knowing that he is there...?
I think you need to take care with your rhyme scheme, because a few stanzas are ABAB when the rest are ABCB and it threw me off the rhythm a bit, disrupting the flow. Might just be the way I was reading it, but I think the rhyming of 'girl' and 'awhirl' could be changed to help this.
Great write. Thanks to Emily Burns for sharing this with me.

p.s.
"Day after day strectched the silence." [stretched]

[Emily B]

This is perfect. An amazing write. You'll have to excuse me, my mind flew away to other writes about boxes. I'll have to find that for you . . .

Wonderful write. Absolutely.

[bluessadmood]

My God this is so great,what imagination dear.she was living in a small derelict home and they saw her ,they felt sorry for the little girl ,trying to make arrangements to find her a decent home make her learn to speak find her good clothing,and laughing between themselves,lets find her a handsome man,she listened to them and laughed with herself who are these strange people ,they look odd to me look how they speak ,so funny they are ,and whats these rags they want to put on me ,what laughing stocks they are ,and this man they brought he looks so stupid ,look how he is eyeing me ,what kind of people i ran into ,what do they want anyway ,oh dear i feel so tired listening to these crazy people oh i see that kind of home just suitable for me ,oh yes hallo ,my world ,this is my world i will go in and bolt the door,by the morning she woke up,she looked out of a hole she made in the box and so ,her naighbour ,he has got a new box ,good for him ,i like good neughbours around ,great help they are and the boy in the box nearby brought his head out and said ,good morning ,how are you today,its a lovely day ,and so lived nearby thereafter,in a very dreamy world of their own ,this is a great stuff i have read in weeks,congratulation dear,for a job very well done