Breaking my heart

I don't want to leave you;
I don't want to cry.
I don't want to go to bed
wondering how you are each night.

I want to spend forever
with you snuggled in my arms.
The thought of being away from you
is breaking my heart.

I'm tired of not having a choice,
Of having to walk away;
I wanted you before you were.
You gave me life that day.

She brought your face near mine
and introduced you as "Mammy's boy."
I never imagined that in my life
I'd know such profound joy,

but now I'm a fleeting fragment,
an occasional in your eyes,
a sometime spectre which comes and goes
in a life which I despise.

I had no choice but to let you go,
you're my son, after all;
I had to protect you from his threats,
never thought that it would maul

my heart and mind the way it has.
My life's in disarray
and once again I face the fact
that I have to go away.

I never thought I would miss someone so;
I never thought it would make me cry.
I never dreamed doing what was best for you
would make me die inside.