PLEASE not again.

a poem about loved ones passing. and troubles in life.

A lifetime of calling. Calling out your name. the future is written. But nothing ever stays the same. Putting my hands together and i say. Please help me make it through another living day. This pain is eating through me and only I can see, what its doing to me. eating out my brain.

Maybe all i want is the fame. yet always my strength regains. And then my words become plain, when i try and keep one foot in the game. I fall down and crash on the ground, yet there is a light above me showing me the way. So why am i dammed to this day? did i do something. Is that why life never goes my way?

The angel who makes up my other half, always leads me out of the dark. Into the new which is going to be ours. But my soul is flying so free and yet when i look down. I know where i should be. Even if it condemns me. U can see the road has been set, I can see why i have so many regrets. But lets not forget i need to live to, But i cant because Im always worrying about you!

I try and be understanding. But all the situations that im handling. there pushing me to breaking point. But i got to keep strong because that's the only way i can carry on. People rely on me, so i don't let them see the fear that's inside of me. And yet i still wonder if I am an Angel or a demon. Because i have been guilty of treason. And i am being held up high by this emotional tie. Am i being punished for being a bad guy?

Im lost but im not. I want to cry and yet die. Im tired of living but i know i am just at the beginning.

I have tried to help you, and i have failed. I try to be there, but nothing compares. To the times where everything was fine. when we didn't live a life full of lies. Every time i come back, its like the devil is giving me

another heart attack. Or a kick up the back. And then im in that frame of mind, when everything i have. I will lose over time.

The child in my mind. Is screaming out. I dont want them to take away everything i hold dear again. And yet im in the continuous descend. Where i see the ones around me crumble and then end.