THE REFLECTION OF THE TOWN.

Everyone has lives they want to hide or run from, secrets and lies. I took my inspiration from Secret dairies of a call Gil. and Moulie Rouge.

It was the typical cold September night. As Emerald waited by the corner of the local pub. Her wavy auburn hair cascaded onto her shoulders,neatly, and her nails shimmered in the streetlights.

Checking the time on her phone, she noticed that she had five minutes to wait. Emerald had been attending the local university since last semester. She was studying social care with some of her friends that she had graduated school with. The town that she now residing in was Fielding. A popular attraction to the tourists who occasionally migrated there. There were the various shops and coffee places in the town, as well as a cathedral. Like any other town or city people kept themselves to themselves. Each one living differently than the last.

Emerald sigh and tried not to picture the night ahead of her. She hoped that time would go quickly tonight, and that she would wake up in the morning, by herself. While thinking of these things, she did not notice a middle aged man approaching her.

" Emerald" she turned round to confront him. Smiling she made casual conversation with him. As they walked down the street that was so familiar to her, and to the hotel. Emerald could not help but wonder if she would bump into anyone she knew, what would they think?? would they say anything!

At last they arrived to the hotel and checked in. The receptionist was in her twenties. Only a couple of years older than herself. The metallic color on the walls, and the gentle buzzing of the cheap drink machine. Made up the entrance hall of the Travel Lodge. They descended up the stairs to the room, that was going to serve the purpose of the night to its full potential.

Emerald just wanted to get the night over and done with. As her client hung up his work clothes for the morning, she went into the bathroom, to get into her work gear. She looked at her pale self in the mirror and took a deep breath. S**t why did she agree to this! Well she knew the reason, but she just wished that there was another way to go about it, instead of getting money this way. She exhaled her deep breath, and reminded herself that when she walked out of the bathroom, she was another person.

Emerald lay on the bed, in her black lacy underwear. Her lips were red, her eyes were dark and her mission was clear. Thoughts about her personal life kept popping up in her mind. So she metaphorically told them to piss off. She took a deep breath as he moved closer to her and started to kiss her. He was gentle with his caressing, however it was clear that there was an animal in there, that was about to be released. It felt wrong letting a man ten times her age lay hands on her. He kept on touching her, and kissing her. But all the while she was somewhere else, in her mind she escaped.

The lights in the hotel room, were dim. Her friends had no knowledge of her true whereabouts. Like normal young adults they would be going out for drinks or on there way home from work. However for Emerald the night had just begun, and tonight's work was full time. Emerald liked to pleasure people, and she enjoyed it even more when they moaned. Even though they had never met, all her clients agreed on one thing. Emerald was very good with her mouth. She had no particular way of doing things. Not at the start anyway.

The night continued and it got later. Emerald had made a pact with herself, that she was not to get overexcited whilst receiving anything on the job. That rule had gone out the window as she let out an orgasmic moan, which echoed throughout the room. To her dismay. It was soon midnight but she had to keep on going. She was on the clients time right now, not hers. Her personal desires or inner thoughts did not apply here.

Emerald was tired and felt like crying, as she just wanted the night to be over. She had never done such a full on night like this. Last time it was much different. When she entered the pub, in her heels and dress. Red lipstick on and dolled up. Greeted by the customer, they sat down and had a drink and talked about his life and a bit about hers. But never too much about herself. They then walked back to his place, which was around the corner.

She remembered he lived in a block of flats, and had allot of gym equipment in his room. He was not a good looking chap, but he was a nice man. Emerald recalled that was the year that she first started being an independent escort. remembering how fucked up she was back then, made her shudder every time she looked back. Downing vodka and then receiving anal, while leaning across his dinner table.

And then in the morning, she felt like a rebel almost. dressing in the same thing she had worn the night before, which by now was somewhere in the bedroom. Sneaking out to face the empty morning town, before university. Emerald would sit down and gather her thoughts while smoking a cigarette and pondering about the world.

Sometimes after a job she felt terrible and ashamed of herself. In fact that was the majority of the time.

Finally they slept. The job was done and dusted! While pacing in her dreams Emerald imagined that she was back at her flat with all the people she held dear in her life. She was free from the clutches of the job she had got herself into, and she could be herself.

Opening her eyes, she gasped. It had just been a dream, she was still in the hotel room, beside her sleeping client. She remained calm and relaxed in the thought that he would be getting up soon for work, and would be going. Leaving her in the room to refresh for the day. It was the weekend but he worked on Saturdays for a firm which was outside of town.

Still being naked from the night before, she bid farewell to him from the comfort of the covers. After he had gone, she grinned at the prospect of being in a hotel room for the first time on her own. Sitting up in bed Emerald counted the bank notes to check that she had not been scammed. John always left her with the correct amount and behaved mostly like a gentlemen, well when he wasn't f*****g her, that is.

Emerald remembered the first few meetings they had. It would be around nine at night, and in the back of his car, in a deserted driveway or road. She gave and he liked it, there was nothing more to it. She was extremely flexible, what people might class as fun-height. Like most of the people she saw he was married.

She turned on the TV to watch the news, and made herself a cup of PG tips. Having a shower that morning made her think of what she had just done,and how once again she would put it to the back of her Pandora box mind. while gathering up her stuff she noticed that his boxers were still on the floor. She smiled at the image of the hotel staff cleaning the room and finding them.

It was Daylight, and time to go home. The air was crisp and fresh as Emerald walked down the cobbled lanes to the main center of town. Regret poured into her heart slowly, painfully. However she had learned to control it and slowly began the evolution into her true self once again.

Closing the front door to her room, she let out a big sigh and started to undress and put on her leggings, and pink top on again. packing some things for the weekend she left town. For a brief while she could forget or at least not remember the things she had done that week. She would be at one with herself and the nature around her.

Everyone has a past. Some learn from there past, and others do not. But what makes us, us is the things we do in the future to overcome the things we have done wrong in our past.

" Where are you? " said Emerald as she nervously waited outside a train station. The day was sunny and too hot for her liking. She had decided to wear a black and white dress, and heels to complete her look. The dolled up look was becoming a specialty of Emeralds now.

" Im in the car, across the road" murmured the manly voice. reluctantly she crossed the road, and entered the car. Emerald had noticed that nearly all clients were nervous on there first encounter with her. However that was mostly middle aged men, who had kept reminding her that they would actually like to date her! But this rule did not apply to this mid twenty's guy, who was sat in the driving seat before her.

He was, what some people might call a "typical lad" The one who goes down to the pub, gets wasted. watches football. But most of all had no respect for her at all.

Emerald was quite offended by this, as with everyone she had met before they showed and treated her like a human being. But this man just treated her like, well like a prostitute. Emerald knew that she was basically a w***e, however naturally she expected some respect from the people she met up with.

" You going to start fingering yourself then" he casually said. As he started the car up,and chewed on his gum. She laughed that vulgar question off, as they made there way back to his house. When they got to his room, Emerald observed it. The room was painted Blue and it looked quite modern. Emerald respected peoples sexual desires if they were not to extreme. That evening passed quickly, and Emerald was glad of it. however she was to pleased with the client when she had to endure all of his load on her face and mouth. While they made there way back to the station, they talked about his girlfriend and how they live together. At times like this Emerald felt a bit awkward.

The weeks turned into months, and gradually Emerald stayed away from escorting for a while. She was concentrating on uni work and her personal life. She had no need to sell her body for money, anymore. So she spent those weeks with her friends. occasionally she would get the random text from a client asking her if she was still about, or what she was up to that night. But she ignored it because she did not have the need to work.

Emerald had told no one about the job she did, apart from her friend who was also an escort Jane. Jane was the same age as Emerald and they had graduated school together and now were on the same course at university. They would talk of the strange things that they did whilst on the job, and joked about others. However it still shocked Emerald to hear that one of Jane"s Clients like scratching her.

They both agreed on one thing though.Every guy they saw was exactly the same as the last. Some of them were married, or had girlfriends. Emerald didn't like this fact. in her opinion if you were going to be in a relationship, stay faithful! don't go around the corner and hook up with someone else. In her experience Emerald had received her fair share of angry texts, from wives! asking her who she was and how she knew there husband. Emerald always used the excuse, that she knew there husbands from there work place. But she could not help feel sorry for the wives.

The usual noises of the audio on the train, continued as they pulled away from yet another station. The weekend was over and so it was time to head back to Fielding. Time to head back to the town which held so many memories for her. Looking outside the window, Emerald looked at the grey clouds above. Rain started to descend as she was making her way to her flat. Emerald and Jane as well as being on the same course as one another, also shared a flat near the university.

Sometimes they would have parties, or have friends over. Music would be blaring from the speakers via the laptop. And cider cans and vodka bottles would be scattered around the shelves. They lived on a diet of cheap easy food, which could be brought from the local shop.

However due to things being better in her life, Emerald could not help but think of the things that have past. She remembered when she first moved into Fielding and was living on her own. too much to young is the perfect saying that describes what she had. Emerald was a mess, she was skint and did not really eat. The majority of the time Jane and her just got high or drunk. They used to pass the time by just sitting staring at nothing in her room.Emerald and Jane at this time were off the rails. They would host parties in there room, and keep the music on in-till the early hours of the morning. But it was one of the best moments in there life, yet the worst at the same time.

Emerald remembered one of the first Jobs she did. It was a rainy cold night, and the client had decided that he would like to have sex outdoors. So dressed in her sexy clothes, she waited at the entrance of the university. the rain was highlighted by the orb of the streetlights, and the wind was waving the branches of the trees to and fro.

He was late, and so she waited in-till he arrived. Eventually a dark figure emerged from the other side of the football field.

" You alright? not a nice night is it" remarked Emerald as she walked towards the man in his thirty's.

And so as usual they talked in-till they came to a field which was right in view of the road. what!. Cars were driving by on the road still, even though it was late at night. Apprehensive Emerald tried to block out the sounds of the busy road. For the first time she felt a bit exposed and uneasy. As a rule Emerald always carried a knife in her bag, in-case anything did happen. And so there she was again, on her back looking up at the stars, wondering what her future would be like. Emotionless seeped through every fiber of her being, as she was having intercourse with the stranger.

She felt a bit like a ragged doll, being passed from person to person. That meeting was during the time she was fucked up mentally. Emerald had fallen out with everyone and had no one but her job and drugs, to keep her amused. Jane was hardly talking to her anymore, as she could not be bothered to.

Things were not like that now though, Emerald lives with Jane and they were happy. Uni was going well and at last she had some decent friends. That evening Jane and Emerald had a Chinese with a glass of wine.

" You know what i don't get Em. Why the f**k did we allow ourselves to get into such a mess like that!" said Jane as she swallowed down the last of her plum duck. To Emerald the conversation about prostitution seemed to never end.

" I guess, it was because we needed the money. But its not like that now. However i am getting a bit short of money, but ill manage. I want to change my life around, you know! im doing well at uni and coursework and everything! allot better than i was last term. And so yh. i just want to keep it up."

" And you seeing that dude arnt you!! whats his name??? " spat Jane as she refilled her glass with white wine, and sat back on the sofa. a small smile grew on Emeralds face. Jane meant the boy Phillip who was in the same class as them for Social care. He had only just started talking to her, they had been hanging out quite a bit, and they may of shared a couple of hot evenings.

" Phillip, and i don't know. I don't think we will last, His family is into aliens ! Not even joking. He,s just a bit of a lad, but with a really fit body. Hes really sweet. I took his virginity from him!" smirked Emerald as she too helped herself to another glass of wine. The wine was not bad considering it was from the local shop.

Jane suddenly burst into laughter " Remember when i took your kissing a girl virginity from you!! oh, when was it... Oh! i know. It was in the girls toilets one morning at collage before our lessons. You had a bottle of absinthe with you, and so we drank a bit, and then we ..."

" And then we started to make out, I remember! Oh dear lord i was a state back then haha. I was still a bit of a s**t back then. Being banged from behind in the workshop, and then giving head to him in the boys dressing room. Oh ! and don't forget the lighting box in the theater!"

" Yh but everyone experiments in collage, Em. you were not the only one! remember when i slept with like four of my sisters mates! Never forget old Tom! oooo he was fine!" replied Jane as she started clearing the dishes from the table in-front of them and putting them in the dishwasher, which was in the kitchen.

A memory suddenly flashed into Emeralds mind. The night was dark, and she had been sixteen. She thought she was so cool hanging out with people older than herself. However she remembered feeling uneasy when she was alone with one of her friends mates. She was extremely drunk and was walking along the empty streets of her old home town, with this supposed mate. apparently they were going to a pub, however they did not. Instead the boy she was with, rang up his mate.

" Yh mate, shes fine. she will do you for 50!" he laughed and Emerald laughed to because it was such a funny prank they were making up. However she became uneasy when a cab came to collect them, from the empty town. The world was spinning around her, and she had no one else to hang out with. The flat where the rest of her mates were was miles away. She got in the cab and found herself sitting next to another boy. She didn't know where she was going, she only assumed that they were heading back to this strangers place. Emerald was drunk and a bit worried.

She should of just stayed in the flat with her siblings and there friends, not go off on this apparent pub crawl. The next few moments were a blur, but she did remember being suddenly in a white bedroom with this stranger. Where had her friends mate gone who was meant to be looking after her! Emerald was sobering up and didn't know what to do. How did she end up on top of him? he was ugly and horrible. She wanted to get back to her sibling. So they got back to the flat.

" HEllo!!!" echoed the voice of Jane, Emerald flashed back into reality

"What! sorry, erm was just thinking"

"Right... Ok well im off on a date so ill see you later!"

"What??"

Jane reminded Emerald that she was going on a date with a guy from university, and that she should not wait up. It was nine o clock already, time had flown by so fast since eating that supper. Emerald bid farewell to Jane and wished her a nice time, and then went to go for a soothing shower. The warm water engulfed her, as she closed her eyes and imagined she was in some tropical forest. Emerald liked her showers hot, but not to hot. Shutting her bedroom door behind her, she started to dry her hair with the dryer. Looking at herself in the mirror she sigh.

Jane was out most nights now, and so Emerald had nothing to do. Her life seemed dull and empty. Suddenly at that moment, Emerald saw her phone buzz from the corner of her eye.

" Hey, you still about??" the text message said. It was from a client of hers, who she had not seen in a while. Peter lived in the next town from Fielding, and no surprise he wanted to meet up. He also said in the texts that he would make it worth her while. It was cold and damp that night, and Emerald was not in the mood. However she was getting a bit tight for money, so she supposed it would make sense.

Emerald picked up her room card, and started to walk down the road. She could hear the faint shouts of the footballers on the pitch, as they practiced. Wondering if they ever suspected, as it was ten at night and she was the only girl leaving the university.

Waiting on the bench outside the local Tesco, she lit a f*g. Emerald did not usually smoke before she met up with a client. However she had not had one all day and so was gasping for one.

"Helllo"

unplugging her earphones, Emerald looked up to see a very good-looking man infront of her. He was clean shaven, and smelled of mints. The man introduced himself as Peter and Emerald guessed he was in his twenties.

It was a cold night, too cold for Emeralds liking. Unlike the other people she saw Peter had a white van. He worked as a builder in one of the local areas. Peter was well spoken and polite. Emeralds heart was beating fast and in her head she tried to calm herself down. They made casual small talk like always. As they made there way to some isolated bit of a driveway.

During that course of an hour, Emerald engaged in things she had never done before.She would never understand why some men, liked to take photos of woman sucking them off. Well she Knew the reason, the photos were for "personal use" so that when they were alone, they could look at the film/photo and jerk off to it.

Emerald didn't like photos being taken of her, when she was doing something sexual. She just found it vulgar. Another thing she didn't like was being forced to deep throat. In her opinion if a woman deep throats, she needs to take it at the right pace for her. However Peter said she was good at it, so obviously she had to do it for him.She discovered also during that hour, that peter was a sex animal. However Emerald didn't mind him that much, because he was polite and nice.

Emerald put her clothes back on, and sat down in the passenger seat again.

" F*g??"

" Yes please. Thank you" replied Emerald as he handed her one. The night was still cold and crisp. The whole of the town seemed to be asleep, noone was about. Emerald preferred it this way, as there were no chances that she was going to bump into anyone she knew.

Clients usually asked Emerald about her work, how long she had been doing it for. But they sometimes asked her if she was single, and what made her get into the job in the first place. They were intrigued about her.

" You seem to nice to be an escort. However if your ever down my way, i have a free house babe. Maybe you could be my little maid??" peter said, finishing the last of his f*g, and chucking it out the window. They were nearly back at Emeralds.

" Yh ill let you know when im down your way next." Emerald said as she gathered up her stuff, as they were pulling in to the university. They said goodbye to one another, and Emerald hurried back to her room. Jane was still not in, so she went to bed.

The next morning came, and Emerald spent the day at university. Writing down things from the whiteboard, and keeping herself to herself. It wasn't a particular nice day, weather wise. And then the bit of the lesson, where the teacher keeps on talking came. Thankfully her phone buzzed from her pocket, and she began to read the text.

It was another person wanting to meet up. A friend of his had recommended her, and so they arranged to meet up that afternoon. So Emerald waited outside the pub,her highlighted hair moving in the wind. Her red lips as red as a rose. Emerald looked across the car park, and wondered which car or van would pull up.

Just at that moment, a delivery van pulled up beside her. Without hesitation and hiding her nerves she got in the passenger seat, and closed the door to the outside world. The man was middle aged, and dark haired. They made casual talk as they drove to an unknown place that he had found. It turned out that he was actually meant to be working, but instead he wanted a f**k.

Eventually they came to a forest area. The exchange of cash took place and Emerald and her client went in the back of the van, and the action began. He was foul smelling, and stank of body odor. The back of the van was crammed with cardboard boxes and peoples delivery's. There was no light at the back and so it was only lit by the daylight. Emerald lent over the cardboard boxes, and dug her nails in to them, as he had sex with her from behind. Soon it was all over and so she met up with Jane for lunch.

" So apart from you work, how is this thing going with Phillip"

Phillip a boy, Emerald had not really seen much, since three weeks ago. She didn't see a long term relationship with him. So it was time to call it quits. He took the news well.

At the end of the day Emerald was left with a cold reminder of what she could never have. A man who would treat her right and not just see her as a sex toy. She knew that being an escort had been her own decision, however whilst doing the job, she saw men from a different angle. They mostly liked all the same things, and they never broke the mold.

Every day was the same. Go to university and then plod back to the room, where a remains of a vodka bottle was waiting. Jane was out all the time now that she had been accepted into the "popular" group. Sometimes they would all gather in the house, as they downed there ciders and ate Chinese. Then for dessert more drinking and turning the bass up on the amp, as much as possible.

Emerald needed some new clients, and so she looked at the dating site for more. The majority of them were middle aged and looked like they could lose a few pounds. But the search results soon showed decent men. The chat up line was simple and seductive. And it was not long before Emerald had bagged herself a appointment.

The night was windy, and chilly. After having a shower, and drinking some vodka she got herself ready. Putting the usual songs on her laptop she dolled herself up. Emerald on first meetings always wore a corset underneath her top. The majority of men liked a woman in lacy garments. Emerald knew she had drunk a bit too much but carried on the nights mission.

Waiting near the cash machine outside the local Tesco, she lit a f*g. The shop was quite busy that night, which was unusual. People from all walks of life walked past or drove past in there cars. And yet even after knowing what to expect, Emerald still got nervous. The feeling of not knowing what sort of person is going to turn up. Which in a way was dangerous, however she always came prepared with a knife in her bag.

The clock struck half eight, and the buzz of people simmered down. All of a sudden Emeralds phone started buzzing.

" I'm in-front of you"

She looked up to see a moderately good looking man, coming towards her. The man was in his thirty's and was a builder in the local area. He seemed like a nice man. Unlike the others he had a gentle side to him. Although he was vulnerable and had just broken up with his girlfriend. One of the first of her clients to have children.

The man introduced himself as Gary, as they got into his Merc. It was dark and cold as they pulled up outside the building site. Looking around she noticed that there were many newly built homes, with no occupants. Maybe they would be f*****g in one of those? But she was lead to an empty coffee cafe instead.

It was like some strange scene out of a horror film. When all the people had once gone but now all that was left, was the remains of there lunch on the tables. Going into the back room. Emerald removed her top and leggings, and shoes. He sat on the chair. And the money was earned.

In that hour Emerald was again somewhere else in her mind. What if her mates knew what she was doing? what would happen? I surge of guilt rushed through her as she got dropped off and went into the shops to find her mates, who were unaware of what she had just done.