1st heartbreak of true Love

this writing sums up the majority of girls emotions when being broken up with. i wanted to capture the anger/frustration and sadness that human race go through in relationships.

When i saw you, you were a must, i loved you all, with perfect love and perfect trust. But then the daggers came crashing down, when i found out what i do now, when no words could describe the sound, when all this time i was a rebound. I forgive but i don't forget, the memories full of regret. I remember when we met, our future was set, But then you sometimes forgot my heart was locked with the key i had got, and gave it to you, but then you trampled on my feelings, like noone had before, you hurt me so bad, I don't want to hurt anymore.

How could you do that!? how could you say, i kept my anger inside , so i would not give it away. I didn't want to hurt you, like you hurt me, so im writing this so you might see, how many emotions i have running inside of me. I gave my heart to quickly to you, i know it was foolish, what a stupid thing for me to do, but you see who knew, that i could and will never be without you.

It scares me sometimes, that my love will never die, it scares me in till i start to cry. I think everyone has gone through the same thing, when someones not ready, when its just a fling. 

You will never know, the part of my heart that still cracks, every-time your going back. We have moved on but i would like you to know, it still pains me to core knowing i cant give more, knowing  you got board of me before.  I felt like a failure in the worlds eyes, i felt like i was not pretty enough for any of the guys. 

why did you go out with me, if you were not ready? we were both to blame for not taking it steady. I know you know what its like, when you love someone but then they just throw it all back in your face, like your nothing special, your not a gift from grace.

I have been played in the past, and it was true, that out of all the guys i still love you. When we broke up, my time was stuck, the world didn't seem familiar and the daylight hours were growing dimmer. I felt stupid and ugly, because i thought that you actually loved me. The world around me melted into a mess, everything was just a test. 

apart of me hated you for f*****g me around, however the other half of me wanted to drown, not make a sound, I was lost then i was found, and then i was crying on the ground. 

One day ill tell you how i feel, but i don't think you will understand it completely.  At the time i thought you were like the rest, going out with me, and then dumping me with no regret. But this was not like the others, i could feel that there was something more, something i had never encountered before, I love you more than heaven and earth.

How long did you endure me, and my stupid ways, how long did you love me, ill never know anyways. I forgive but do not forget, is your heart still full of regret? I know things will never be this way again, but to be honest im still scared of being treated like this again.