Absolutely love the power and the tenderness of this write Arabdha. The imagery was colorful and crystal clear. Change is not always easy, in fact may times it is excruciatingly difficult...but so very often, change is necessary for the completeness of our souls and our being. I must admit I read this a few times for no other reason then it felt and sounded good flowing from my mouth. I love when poetry makes me feel that way. Very heartfelt and honest. Beautifully written.
thanks for sharing Arabdha
allen
I think that many of us has taken this walk, my friend...lost and lonely save the voice in our head. Sublime sentiment, though bittersweet and starkly poignant. I enjoyed the concept quite alot and the wording was also nicely done. You show emotional honesty here, and that is beautiful in and of itself.
My only suggestion would be on your punctuation...the elispses used at the end of every line throws off the flow a little, as they are meant to make the reader pause before moving on. Perhaps, you could use them in a different way:
Every sound fades to silence -
life fading into voiceless stupor,
all that remains are the memories of a day spent
and the silence that resonates within -
the world seems at peace as the darkness takes over...
Only a suggestion, of course; taking nothing away from your words, which were beautiful and honest.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Thank you so much Sarah.Glad you like the words.I shall pay heed to your suggestion ! You see I have.. read moreThank you so much Sarah.Glad you like the words.I shall pay heed to your suggestion ! You see I have always wrote for myself.Time to see how a reader sees it as well :-) Have an amazing day ahead !
Seems your route alters from the start of the poem to the ending .. like an exploration. And the whole is like reading the echoes of something distinct yet, wonder at softeness and fragility, the need for peace and beauty in spite of all clutter of life. You see, you feel, and, its wonderful and so is this poem!!
You have taken words and painted a heartfelt portrait. One thing that is a constant in this world is change. You show this show exquisitely with the vivid imagery imparted!
I enjoyed this throughout, especially the ending stanza, which shows hope for new beginnings! ~ :-)
Absolutely love the power and the tenderness of this write Arabdha. The imagery was colorful and crystal clear. Change is not always easy, in fact may times it is excruciatingly difficult...but so very often, change is necessary for the completeness of our souls and our being. I must admit I read this a few times for no other reason then it felt and sounded good flowing from my mouth. I love when poetry makes me feel that way. Very heartfelt and honest. Beautifully written.
thanks for sharing Arabdha
allen
Beautifully written! I see the end of the day with night closing in, but you mind won't turn off, soon you are wandering into a world you have created. Thank you, Arabdha.
i am 23..a thinker and a dreamer..life is hard..and i'm just fumbling my way through it..writing is my constant companion and escape..
I write likeAgatha ChristieI Write Like by Mémoires,.. more..