A interesting, thought provoking and beautiful poem. However it could be even more powerful if you sharpened up some of the wording. You use 'I' too much and 'and' or 'n' also words like joy, hope and happiness are not necessary and could be better expressed in a different way. Other than that you write beautifully.
A interesting, thought provoking and beautiful poem. However it could be even more powerful if you sharpened up some of the wording. You use 'I' too much and 'and' or 'n' also words like joy, hope and happiness are not necessary and could be better expressed in a different way. Other than that you write beautifully.
it is nice to know how we are or become part of the journey of those we touch within our own lives...
very nice work...
Posted 14 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
Great work , and specially a very very nice ending . Loved this .
Something comes to mind , do not know why , it is a line I heard in a movie (forgot the name) , which goes something like : If you really love some one then you should not be selfish and hold them back when they want to go ,because maybe their happiness is in that .
i really like the poem..
the way you have written has special effect to it..
this poem is sad...came directly through your heart
and soul...
thankyou for sharing it:)
i am 23..a thinker and a dreamer..life is hard..and i'm just fumbling my way through it..writing is my constant companion and escape..
I write likeAgatha ChristieI Write Like by Mémoires,.. more..