A Final Farewell..

She sprang back..
jolted by the strange unfamiliarity..
he looked on..
with indifference in the eyes
wherein hers sought the reason of her existence..

A silent tear trickled by..
as her furrowed brows demanded an explanation..
He looked on..
nonchalance scripted on his countenance..

She tried to search for what she had lost..
..an understanding for the hole in her heart..
that was somehow numbed by the shock and confusion..

He mustered the courage to hold still..
cause beneath the rigid unfamiliarity..
lived the soul she had known so well..
that had once loved and ached for her..
it killed him on the inside..
But he held still..
knowing that once it was over..
he wouldn't feel a thing..
and she would be gone forever..

to a path that gave her the happiness she deserved..
that he couldn't..
if only he had known better..!

She stood..
too dazed to comprehend what was happening..
as her heart slowly accepted her fate..
she looked once more
at the familiar face she had cared for..
and then she was gone..

And he stood..all alone..
not feeling a thing..
having lost everything..

 7th place 

Feb 5, 2011

• The Amazing 3 day contest
• A Final Farewell..

Author's Note

please feel free to comment..:)

Reviews

[Siddhartha]

I agree with Kyrie and OT regarding the many hues that this poem could have...But underying the work is the ache of heartbreak and the sorrow that comes with being alone...A poem that can connect with everyone in an unique and relevant way...Amazing work...

[zainul]

I patiently saw the last scene of a movie.
The woman had to leave her place where she passed long time with love and care.
Appreciate the writer for creating a mysterious scene.

[Arabdha]

Thank you again..for the kind words !

[Seshat Nidaba]

This had a devotional range and an inspirational phrasing that I found very appealing, well written!

Most especially the first 2 stanzas.

[LadyNaida]

Wow! Am speechless...this is deep and very heartfelt. It made me feel like crying.

[Alexis]

I think you had a good choice of words and I liked that. This was a very emotion-packed piece and I thought it was really sad, but very good. I especially liked the last two stanzas. Great work!

[gulzar]

good work..........

[Rose]

There are so many possible meanings that this poem can have...

[kelly]

"too dazed" rather than "to".

The context saddened me and I initially felt sympathy for the woman and her obvious confusion and distress. The relationship could be anything from an elderly mother and son to lovers who had a falling out-I think that this is wonderfully interactive for readers, which tells them more about themselves than about you.

[Jim Parson]

This is a very moving piece, poignantly penned. The emotion that accompanies loss is well expressed.

One correction for you... She stood..to dazed to comprehend what was happening.. should be "too dazed".