Chapter 2

“I remember that time we had gone rock climbing in Malibu Creek State Park. On the other side of that Planet of the Apes wall. I was up on the wall, looking for something that my fingers could grab onto. You know that part where there’s nothing to hold on to?”

“Yeah.”

“You were on my left side, you were higher than I was. It was the time that guy’s wallet fell out of his pocket and the idiot yelled ‘wallet’ instead of ‘rock.’ Remember that time?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I remember seeing you above me and I was at the point of exhaustion. My arms were dead, my lower back was quaking from fatigue, I still had energy in my legs, and I was trying to use them as much as possible to hold myself up. I remember thinking that I couldn’t make it to the top, and that I’d just give up and repel down. Then I felt a breeze brush against my nose, and I looked at the face of the dry hard rock. It was a sunny day, remember? Remember how hot it was that day?” Alex nodded. “Well, when I felt that breeze against my nose it made me look forward at the rock, and I noticed on the rock there was a lichen. You know what exactly a lichen is? It’s a symbiosis between a fungus and an algae or a cyanobacteria or maybe even all three. And this lichen was on the face of a flat, dry, hard, hot rock. There was nothing there for it to grow on. I mean it seemed that way to me. There was no dirt on the rock, the rock was not crumbling. There was no water there, there was nothing growing there or living there but this lichen. And I realized in that moment that Nature exploits every single exploitable environment. I mean there was nothing here but the breeze, and maybe a few days out of the year, rainwater would run down this surface. But that breeze and that scarce water was enough for this lichen to grow in this area.”

“Yeah.”

“And I realized that the economy is the same way. Someone is exploiting every spot in the economy. From imperial governments controlling the economies of small countries, all the way down to the bum asking for your change. Every spot is being exploited, so we need to find those spots that aren’t being exploited or are under-exploited.”

“I’ll liken this to that spot,” said Alex.

“Did you just say, ‘I’ll lichen this to that spot?’”

“Yes I did.”

“I’ll forgive you if it’s a good idea. It had better be a good idea.”

Alex chuckled, “Look at that sign. $300 FINE FOR HONKING HORN IN THIS AREA. We start selling Ziin horns in New York. They don’t have Ziin horns in New York. Have you heard a single Ziin horn? We bring Ziin horns to New York. Imagine you’re the only guy on your block with a Ziin horn, blaring, deafening everyone with your explosive metallic horn.”

“You know, I may just forgive you. That’s not a bad idea. That’s not a bad idea at all. You’re right. Those things are huge in LA but I haven’t heard a one in New York.”

They sat there silently for a few minutes drinking their tea, and thinking about it independently from one another until Alex broke the silence. “So which one am I?”

Arthur’s questioning nod said ‘which what?’

“Am I the fungus or the algae?”

“That is a good question,” responded Arthur. “You see, fungi aren’t able to create their own nourishment like other plants do, so they have to get it from somewhere else. They either end up as parasites on some organism, like athlete’s foot. Or in the case of lichens, for example, it’s a symbiosis. Because the algae, or the cyanobacteria, can create their own energy through photosynthesis, so the fungus draws energy from the algae.”

“What’s in it for the algae?”

“Well, the algae gets protection, see most of the lichen’s mass is made up of the fungus, but the algae wouldn’t be able to survive in the harsh environment without the fungus. The fungus protects the algae from the elements so that the algae can produce the energy that they both need to live.”

“So that being the case"“ they agreed on Alex’s role “You’re/I’m the algae.”

They laughed at their synchronized statement. “ That, you are my friend,” said Arthur, “That, you are. You’re the energy factory in this team.”

“And you’re the tough one.” They both smiled.

“Come on, let’s go.”

 

 

 

The plane began to bounce up and down in its flight path. The boys continued their conversation unfazed.

“Man. This is crazy.”

“I know. I can’t believe it. We’re finally gonna do it, Alex. We’re living our dream.”

 

They looked good. Alex was slim, with thick black hair slicked back in heavy waves.  His eyes were a mineral shade of black. His almond skin shone with confidence. Arthur was a little older and had heavy brown curls, with a goatee to match. His light brown eyes, captured sunlight and held flecks of gold long after sunset. Arthur was the heavier of the two"broad shoulders and large thighs. Alex was taller and made a trim cut in his clothing. They both wore blazers and jeans. Alex wore his with a gray turtleneck and Arthur sported a black button up shirt with cufflinks. His shirt collar rose high over the lapel of his charcoal blazer. They looked like sex, and they new it. They had strolled onto the plane with a confident stride, heels of their black leather boots clicking on the metal floor of the jet bridge leading to the airplane.

 

When the stewardess came by to ask them to buckle in their belts they used the opportunity to get things rolling. It hadn’t started there though; they had already cut a nice image as they strode past the flight crew to their seats, confident and poised, yet endearingly polite.

“Good morning sir, welcome to Federal Air,” the first stewardess had said with her standard greeting to everyone.

“Good morning to you. Thanks for having us,” smiled Alex.

“It’s our pleasure to be here,” Arthur completed the thought.

“Thanks for choosing Federal, she said,” in a tone that was unusually nervous for her. The boys didn’t detect that, but she did; and it put an inquisitive crinkle in her eyebrow.

 

When the next opportunity to talk to the stewardess came Arthur said, “Get it rollin” in an understated tone. They were smooth like that. Arthur knew how to do things at just the right moment to give the proper perception and to get what he wanted accomplished. As he brought his shoulders forward to reach back for his belt, he tilted his head down to find the buckle and in a baritone that wouldn’t travel much farther than his breath he said “Get it rollin.”

Walking toward the boys, the stewardess was checking to see if everyone had their belts on and she said to Alex, “Your belt sir.”

“Argentine leather,” came Alex’s response.

“I’m sorry?” asked the stewardess.

“It’s Argentine leather,” he repeated as he reached down and grabbed his large black belt with the bull’s head buckle. “Didn’t you ask about my belt?” Alex said with his imperceptibly rehearsed innocent smile.

“No sir,” she responded, piqued. “I was asking you to fasten your safety belt. We’ll be taking off shortly.”

“Ahhh I see. I thought it was a strange question.”

“Yes sir, it would have been.”

He chuckled and said “Alex.”

“Sorry?”

“My name is Alex,” he repeated extending his hand.

“Cynthia,” she responded while shaking his hand, “pleased to meet you.”

“This is Arthur.” The two of them shook hands as well.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” said Arthur.

She was on her way back down the aisle, and things were proceeding according to plan.

 

The five-hour flight from LA to New York was interminably boring for most passengers, but these two made the most of it. They discussed business plans. They prepared “to-do lists.” They reviewed tasks for the first month, first week and even the first day. They wrote down two copies of their to-do list and two copies of a list consisting of important phone numbers and addresses. When it was possible, they chatted up the stewardesses, especially Cynthia. They used every moment. Always being productive. It was one of their mantras: “Produce in every moment and success will be inevitable.” Even the idle banter with the stewardesses was anything but idle. They were setting up activities for the first couple of weeks in New York.

“So, is your crew based out of LA or New York? I don’t think I heard the pilot mention it,” asked Alex.

“New York,” nodded Cynthia.

“Ahh, New York, New York, big city of dreams.”

“But everything in New York isn’t always what it seems,” responded Cynthia with a wink. They both laughed.

“I like it, I like it,” Alex declared with the laugh still in his voice. They were on a red-eye flight. A flight time they had chosen precisely because it would give them a full day to get to work once they landed. It also provided the added benefit of stewardesses with more idle time since most of the passengers were asleep. Alex was standing with Cynthia at the cabin crew station at the back of the plane. Periodically he had to move to accommodate those entering or exiting the restroom.

“You know, we’re moving to New York.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, really. Arthur and I.”

“You mean, on this trip?”

“Yes. This is our move out there.”

“How exciting. You guys brothers?”

“Business partners. We’re moving our business out there.” It was a lie. They were doing something far riskier. They were moving all the way out there to set up a business which hardly existed in Los Angeles.

“That sounds risky.”

“It is,” Alex said with a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

“You like that, I can see,” she smiled. “What kind of business is it.”

“Imported specialty auto parts. Retail and wholesale.”

“More cars in Cali,” she stated.

“More competition too, the big apples ripe for the picking though. No one has the parts we’re importing out there.”

“And that would be?”

“If I told you, I’d have to kill you. It’s an insider secret until we get things rolling,” Alex winked. She laughed.

“How many times have you been to New York?”

“Four times, this’ll be number five.”

“What have you seen?”

“Not much, I’m afraid.” It was a lie. “We’ve been mostly about business on every trip, so we haven’t seen much other than Carnegie Hall I guess"we had a few meetings there.”

“Oh my goodness. You have to see New York. It’s the best city in the world, and I’ve seen all the major ones.”

“Well then we’ll need a proper tour guide, wont we?”

“That you will.”

“Excellent. Thank you for volunteering. If you’ll be so kind as to write your number here, I’ll call you and we’ll schedule something.” Alex extended his hands with a pen and the list, clearly marked ‘Important Contact Info’ at the top.

“You think you’re slick, don’t you? I didn’t volunteer for anything. I’m a flight attendant, not a tour guide.”

“Alright then, I’ll show you around.”

“You’re gonna show me around my own city?”

“That’s right. Alex City Tours, where every customer comes satisfied and leaves wanting more.” He pushed his agenda and his papers forward.

“You’re a pretty confident guy,” she said taking the paper and pen.

“Good, those self help tapes must be working.”

She laughed at that one too as she wrote her name and cell phone number down. “So where’s the first stop on our tour?” Cynthia asked.

“Hmmm…well let’s see. You want the tourist’s version or the New Yorker’s version?”
“This I gotta hear. I want the New Yorker’s version.”

“Well, we’ll start off with a nice walk around SoHo. Maybe get some Pizza at Lombardi’s. Then maybe we’ll take a nice stroll through Washington Square Park. Then in the afternoon maybe we’ll go to Tavern on the Green and have a glass of wine. If it’s a Wednesday night we can do amateur night at the Apollo. Then we go off to this club I know in Lower Manhattan called Flavio’s. Then maybe to Osiris for an after hours drink.”

“And you said you haven’t seen New York.”

“Well, maybe just a little bit.”

 

They were good at this sort of thing. Both Arthur and Alex were good at talking their way into things. Alex, however, was a genius at talking his way out of things as well. Alex returned to his seat and said to Arthur, “All systems are go.”

 

Alex and Arthur were good friends. They were always pulling each other up.

 

 

Six months later things were off to an encouraging start. Ziin was an upstart horn and fanfare company who were taking on the big names and winning due to their superior sound. And Alex and Arthur were the only licensed Ziin distributors in New York. They had sold half their initial stock and had even managed to turn a profit in their second quarter of business. They had a hefty distribution network and were outselling competitors in most stores where they were carried. They had also developed a strong internet presence. Nearly a third of their sales were online. The future was promising, and ever the ambitious businessmen they strived to diversify.

 

“It’s called a NINA.”

“A nina? As in a Spice-1 nina?”

“No…NINA. As in No Income No Assets loan. I’ve been talking to this guy from Nationwide, and we can actually get into a condo on 73^rd, not too far from the park. We can stop paying rent. We’ll be paying to own and we can run things out of the house until we get somewhere.”

“It’s a bit soon wouldn’t you say? I mean getting a place already. We're in the midst of all this work and nothing is really happening yet.”

“Look at it this way, all our rent money right now is going toward nothing. It’s money out the window. This way we can be paying almost the same amount and be paying toward something we’ll be able to sell in a couple of years. It’s all based on credit. We just show good credit and that’s it. We don’t need to show income. We don’t need to show collateral. We don’t need to show anything. Basically, it’s free credit.”

“How the hell does this work? How are they making money on this?”

“Things are booming, bro. They’re making money off of every loan. People are happy, their bellies are full, they’re making their payments. We’re getting left behind with this.”

 

They walked into Nationwide and up to the receptionist, a young lady, who was too chubby for the tight fighting skirt and button-up she was wearing. “Jeffrey will be with you gentlemen shortly. May I offer you some coffee or water?”

“I’ll have some coffee,” said Alex.

“None for me, thanks.”

 

They didn’t wait long before Jeffrey came out of the back. “Alex! You’re here. I’m glad to see you.” Jeffrey then looked at Arthur.

“Hi. I’m Jeffrey.”

“Arthur.”

“Pleased to meet you.” They all shook hands and made their way into Jeffrey’s office. Jeffrey sat down with his back to the 7^th story window that overlooked the city.

“What a view,” Alex said.

“Yeah, I sit with my back to it, because if I was facing it I’d just stare out at the world all day and get no work done. So, Arthur, has Alex explained to you how this works?”

“Why don’t you give it to me again.”

“Okay, so I’ve already looked into his credit and he qualifies. We would just need to run the same check on yours. Basically, you don’t need to show income or assets. What you do need to show is the credit history that will allow my boss to believe that you are a low risk buyer.”

Arthur was skeptical, “So how do you guys make money on this stuff. I mean aren’t people defaulting on their loans left and right?”

“I’m glad you asked that. This is how it works. See people with good credit have a serious stake in keeping that credit good. Those people that have been paying off everything they’ve purchased and paying it off on time or early for some years aren’t suddenly going to go delinquent. It’s a psychological thing. You don’t pay your bills on time just because you have a job. You pay your bills on time because you have a strong sense of responsibility and you stand by your word. If you say you’re going to pay me back for lending you this money, you value your word more than you value the money. People who don’t pay their bills on time, don’t miss their payments just because they don’t have the money. A lot of them have the money but they just don’t really care about the value of their word or the commitment they’ve made. That’s what research tells us. So your credit history, is actually a more accurate indicator of whether or not you’re going to pay this loan back then your number of assets or even your income in certain cases.”

 

Arthur looked at Alex and said, “This guy is good.” Jeffrey chuckled a bit but then continued on seriously. “It’s all about whether or not you are the type of person who takes things seriously. Alex’s credit rating and specific elements of his credit history tell us that he is. And if he’s your business partner, then I’m willing to bet that the same goes for you. So why don’t you go ahead and fill that form out, while I let my boss in on this and we’ll run a quick check of your credit.” Jeffrey pushed forward the forms, smiled, stood up and left the room.

Arthur began filling out the form. Without looking up he asked Alex “You believe this guy?”

“What reason do I have to believe this guy?” came Alex’s response. “We’ll have a third party look at it before we sign anything. Let them run your credit check. Let them get us qualified and we’ll look further into it ourselves.”

 

 

 

They were in the office of David H. Hovsepian Esq. “Alright boys, it all depends on how conservative you want to be. If you think that you should play it safe then you don’t take the loan. If you think that things are going well and you can make the payments once they change in a year then you would be crazy not to take it. The market is booming and you need to be involved. I’ve got a few of these deals going myself right now. Of course, in my situation I didn’t have to do a NINA because I’ve got more assets. Obviously, I’m older than you and further along in my career. Where you’re at, you need to decide if you’re going to play it safe or if you’re going to get in the game all the way.” The idea of playing it safe slightly offended both Alex and Arthur. They would never say it aloud to one another but the idea of playing it safe scared them more than taking even very big risks.

 

“Are there any catches in there? Any snags, any tricks? That’s my main concern.” Arthur asked.

“Not that I can see. The only thing you need to worry about is the rate destabilizing. That is going to happen. In here it says it might happen, but you can forget about might. It is definitely going to happen. As long as you feel confident that you’ll be able to keep moving forward with it once it happens then you’re good.”

 

It was decided. They were going to take the plunge. Instead of paying rent they would pay toward their future. This deal was like a down payment on a windfall in a couple of years. They had to show no income and they had to show no assets. They took on a $700,000 condo.

 

 

 

 

“When’s the last time you searched online for Ziin Horns?”

“Yesterday. Why?”

“Auto Master has begun selling them online.”

“Thee Auto Master? The one with stores in every f*****g city in the US?” Arthur exclaimed.

“Yes. Thee Auto Master. They have it all over their website. We are officially in competition with the big boys.”

“I can’t believe this. F**k! Watch. Watch what this is going to do to our online sales. They’re going to plummet. We’ve got to do something. We’ve got to be aggressive. We need to optimize our search results. I want us to be the first result on any search involving horns or Ziin at any search engine.”

“That’s going to cost.”

“We can’t afford not to do it. If we lose online sales, we’re fucked.”

 

The day after Auto Master got into the game the entire economy tanked.

 

 

 

“Look Arthur, I’m telling you man. This s**t is just not selling. Listen to me, my friend. People come in here with a flat tire and they’re not willing to buy new tires. They ask me if I have used tires. You know how many customers I’ve lost because we didn’t carry used tires? I went to a junkyard on Sunday and bought a truck-load of used tires, because I can’t afford to lose any more customers. I mean if they’re not willing to buy tires they’re not gonna buy your horns. Even the rich kids that fix up 5 different cars at a time with no thought to how much it’s costing, even they aren’t coming in. Their daddies are taking them off the tit, because I can’t even get one of them to buy your f****n’ horns.”

“Okay, look. Let me just leave five of them here on consignment. If they sell, they sell. If not you got no obligation.”

“No, no forget that. I’m still responsible for them right? I mean if something happens to them, I gotta pay you right? I can’t afford to even take on that responsibility, man. S**t is bad. Our revenue has dropped by thirty percent. Thirty percent! You know what that means? That means I had to layoff two people and make another two full-timers part-time just so I wouldn’t have to close the doors. That means I only turn on half of the lights. That means I put up a sign in the bathroom asking customers to turn off the light when they’re done. That means I dilute the soap in the soap dispensers with water so it lasts three times as long. That means I’m selling used f*****g tires. I can’t take anything from you. In fact, I have to give you back the five I have with me now.”

Arthur walked out of the auto shop carrying a box, overstuffed with Ziin horns. He didn’t know what to do. They couldn’t even wholesale their stock at a loss and get out of the business. They were stuck in a home they couldn’t afford and stuck in a business selling things that no one could afford.

He walked with his box full of horns to the stop outside and got on the bus. The horns sitting on his lap, he just kind of stared at the light brown nothingness of the cardboard box and the sleek black Ziin boxes within.

 

The superior sound of Ziin horns is created due to a patented double layered sound filter housing which directs all of the sound waves into the conical amplifier and reflects the sound back out at the world. When you press the horn you are doing more than honking, you are creating sound.

 

‘What a crock of s**t.’ He thought to himself. ‘I’m such an idiot.’