Chapter 13

Horthal kept the caravans moving until the sun had nearly set. We prepared a camp and by dark we had a few fires going and everyone had eaten. They were merry people, dancing and singing and telling stories around the peaceful warmth of the flames. Rose and I layed out our bedrolls at our own little fire, not far from the others. I sat with Nightfang over my lap.

"How old are you?" she asked me.

"Nineteen."

"Eighteen." She poked at the fire with a stick, "You seem different, and it's hard to explain."

Again, I was taken off guard and found myself scrambling for a response. She was right, I was different, but not like she thought. She couldn't see the truth. She couldn't see the monster within me. All she could see was a distorted image, a misleading appearance.

"I'm not like you think, Rose. You don't know me well enough to know the truth, but I'm a failure."

"How?" She looked me with disbelief.

"I've done a lot of bad things. Terrible things that have hurt people."

"So. You can't change that now. All I see is a good guy that's sorry about what he did."

"You have no idea what I've done." I got up and walked away, leaving her alone by the light of the fire as I went to meet the darkness of the forest. The shadows were thick beneath the leaves that sheltered me from the moonlight.

I fell to knees and wept. Tears streamed from my eyes and my mind could only picture Mili and Sarah. Sarah, the girl I had hurt so badly, and Mili, who I had failed. I choked, my head throbbing while the tears continued to arrive, forcing themselves to be shed.

Arms came from behind me, wrapped themselves around me and I felt Rose pulling me against her. I could feel her breath, her warmth, and I cried harder, but she didn't let me go.

"I don't have to know what you did," she whispered, "I can see who you are now. I don't have to know everything about you. I can see what you are now."

I said nothing, only wept. Her touch comforted me just as it hurt me. I knew that she cared, and so did I, though I couldn't describe it. I couldn't explain what was happening. She was different too, unlike anyone I had seen before, like the star you see in the sky, brighter than all the others. It hurt, it scared me to feel that way. I had hurt everyone I loved, everyone I cared for, and I knew that I could hurt Rose too. All I could do is hurt people. It's all I was good for.

Author's Note

This part is hard for me, so tell me what you think. Are they getting too close too soon? Is this part cheesy? Any thoughts are welcome and needed.