~Costly Consequences~

~Costly Consequences~

A Poem by AprilRN1210
"

How much is a friendship worth?

"

"I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times am hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

-Marilyn Monroe

 

"A true friend knows your weaknesses but shows you your strengths; feels your fears but fortifies your faith; sees your anxieties but frees your spirit; recognizes your disabilities but emphasizes your possibilities."

-William Arthur Ward










Lost in my frosty defenses

unwilling to kill distance

building more lofty fences

shielding glossy pretenses

twisted viscous existence

yielding costly consequences.

 


Alone... reeling from lessons learned

feeling each broken bridge being burned

crying corrodes this haunting throne

earning each hateful word you’ve thrown

sowing stones hoping to atone

knowing I did this on my own.

 


Yearning deep down for love

yet drowning in fear, I shove

worthless when I get nervous

forgetting I’m not perfect.

 


Wrecked with regret when I reflect

still my will won’t disconnect

sealing my heart to protect

concealing chambers it suspects

cancerous complex I can’t correct.

 


I’m not an angel

… no, not at all

say things in anger

behind these walls.

 


This isn’t war

not today

just slam the door

walk away…

 


… Or-stop hurting me

accept me as I am

with the guarantee

I’ll always be your friend.






© 2015 AprilRN1210


Author's Note

AprilRN1210

My Review

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Featured Review

There seems to be moments in life when all defenses are put to one side. When speaking to a friend we might say: "I feel hurt" I think as I have observed; they do not mean that they have been injured on an accident and they are in deperate need of ER. In some of the cases that I have come across it is a moment of self- realazation. It seems like a strange thing to say. If one has come to realize why is it that it hurts? Maybe because the experience demands that we die internally so that something new can come about. A piece of us dies and another one is brough about. No more wars but acceptance, no more fear of crashing but embrace me and love me, because although I am full of complexities I will not stop trying to be the best that I can be for you.

You have a way to outpour feelings it makes me think I have a carrot stuck in my throat.

Thank you.

Posted 9 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

AprilRN1210

9 Years Ago

not only is that a huge compliment Rene, but made me giggle slightly at the explanation.. You know h.. read more
This comment has been deleted by the website administrators.



Reviews

I can feel this heartfelt plea. We're all broken in someway, no one is perfect.
You connect with the emotions so wonderfully in your writing. As if I'm living it too.
Nice one my beautiful little Grape. You're perfect to me, and I'm sure I'm not the only one around here that would say that.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AprilRN1210

9 Years Ago

Thank you girl.. you are so sweet, I appreciate it.. ((hugs))
Matching Socks

9 Years Ago

You're welcome. ((Hugs))
This poem is very powerful. Your rhyme scheme, vocab, and use of literary devices really add more energy to the already energized punch of this wonderful. On top of that, the font color you used suits the atmosphere perfectly. I would say well done, but that wouldnt be good enough for this masterpiece :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AprilRN1210

9 Years Ago

oh wow, what a review.... I am humbled by this awesome response.. Thank you so much, I am glad you e.. read more
Powerful quotes and amazing poetry.
"Or-stop hurting me
accept me as I am
with the guarantee
I’ll always be your friend."
I liked the honest tone in your words. The above lines stood out for me. Thank you dear Poet for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote



Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AprilRN1210

9 Years Ago

Thank you so much dear friend.. I appreciate it.. the truth isn't always pretty and to look deep ins.. read more
Coyote Poetry

9 Years Ago

I agree and we have no option except to tell the truth.
We wish acceptance from our friends most of all. We don't want them yo become saviours but people who can respect and understand. This is such a beautiful poem, loved it.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AprilRN1210

9 Years Ago

Thank you so much.. I agree, that respect and understanding is very important.. like you said, I don.. read more
Very first thing, I loved the two quotes at the top. Then I started reading the poem, I could notice all is not well in the paradise. Friendship like love has to be unconditional. It accepts you the way you are. Even if people see flaw in each other, it is right of a true friend to let another person see the truth without hurting the self image, without insulting and it needs only friendly whisper to ask "open your eyes".

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AprilRN1210

9 Years Ago

I couldn't decide between those two, so decided to insert both, I am glad you enjoyed.. As far as th.. read more
Good friends are certainly hard to find April....we often let our defences down and become vulnerable only to be let down. Perfection is a word and often what we see on the outside is not what's on the inside so how do we really know...if tha's how we look at people....what they are trully like. Beauty is only skin deep and I know when I want top get to know someone, I like to find out waht makes them tick. No one is perfect, we all have differences and no 2 people are ever the same. I think it's very unfortunate these days that helping hands are just not reciprocated or favours returned as they should be. Real friends are those that are their through good times and bad..real friends know who you are and accept you for who you are and not what they want you to be.

Troy

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AprilRN1210

9 Years Ago

Oh my goodness, hey stranger!!.. Good, true friends are a blessing, I agree--hard to find.. what mak.. read more
Such a flow of depth in this ocean of you... these words carry us across the vastness of your life... there is such an aching here.. a longing... and that friendship in the balance... Made my soul slip into these dark shadows...

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AprilRN1210

9 Years Ago

This one was written in those dark shadows filled with pain and longing.. I am sorry to make you sli.. read more
An owl on the moon

9 Years Ago

I'm just thankful you're not still lingering in that place... Need to keep you in those warm places .. read more
the poem and this music made this a beautiful experience....it is a joy to read your works

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AprilRN1210

9 Years Ago

you are very kind, thank you so much.
[send message][befriend] Subscribe
DJ
Melancholy steeped in angst and self awareness,nicely written.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AprilRN1210

9 Years Ago

Thank you DJ, so nice to see you..
wow and to throw the song in is perfect. I love this; it's the first poem i have read this year and i'm so glad i came across it because it's my new favorite. Good s**t ms lady I'm a fan.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AprilRN1210

9 Years Ago

Well thank you kindly.. I appreciate it.. nice to meet you.

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Shelved in 3 Libraries
Added on January 20, 2015
Last Updated on January 20, 2015

Author

AprilRN1210
AprilRN1210

MS



About
Just a simple, old-fashioned nurse who writes to tell the stories of my heart and appease the voices in my head.. more..

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