Demons Decoded

Seeking answers to this dark angel's demons..

“Life is filled with unanswered questions, but it is the courage to seek those answers that continues to give meaning to life. You can spend your life wallowing in despair, wondering why you were the one who was led towards the road strewn with pain, or you can be grateful that you are strong enough to survive it.”  
J.D. Stroube

The truth wants to be set free
crying out for you to know
numb… bitter.. from… arctic cold

prisoner ‘neath fallen snow.

I used to shimmer bright
life… illuminated.. me
now just struggle everyday
festering.. in .. vacancy.

How did I end up stuck here?
back to this scared, little girl
forsaken...or… abandoned
trapped in my own frozen world.

I used to be… so fearless
bullheaded, brazen and bold
a force to be reckoned with
truly…. a sight… to behold.

How did I end up dumped here?
with a shattered, broken heart
rattling….. ragged….. pieces
'twas savagely ripped apart.

I used to be so carefree
bubbly, spirited, and kind
now plagued with demonic fear
running rampant through my mind.

Now that I am really here
must break catastrophic chains
patching….. together….. pieces
fixing fragmented remains.

I will learn to love myself
stop trying to run and hide
letting other people see….
the real beauty that’s inside.

 

Author's Note

Reviews

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

Beautiful poem, April. It's true you know, you can't love someone if you don't love yourself. On a certain point in our life, we all ask this question: how did I end up here? Contemplating at that moment about the way we have travelled may show us where we have failed or what we have to do better or in another way. Reading your poem, brought my thoughts to all this. Very well done. :) Rudi

[AprilRN1210]

What an insightful review!. I couldn't agree more and you summed it up perfectly.. Thank you so much, I appreciate your time, thought, and kindness. It is nice to see you:)

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

My pleasure, April. :) Rudi

[kublakhan27]

I guess it goes without saying that there is a different side of you in these words, actually many different sides...the sadness and resignation, but ultimately the resolve and confidence...if I switch the genders, this reads like my own life story...you can hear it in much of my work I suppose, but I've never been able to confront it head-on in the way you have here...and as I've told you countless times, I'm incapable of producing that resolve and confidence from within...it comes solely from the support I get from you and my other friends...anyways I'm not trying to make it all about me, just trying to demonstrate how loudly and clearly this piece did speak to me...I don't need to remind you of the love and support you have should you ever harbour the feelings you've articulated here, but I will anyway haha And I haven't even pointed out how strong you are from strictly within ;) Passionate, passionate piece my friend, I loved this one :)

[AprilRN1210]

well hey you! Thank you so much for this kind, lovely, thoughtful review.. I honestly, from the bottom of my heart, appreciate the offer and will hold it dear... I am glad I was able to touch you so deeply with my words.. ((hugs))

[kublakhan27]

It's my pleasure April :) You know I speak from the heart, and we always have each other's back, and you know how much that means to me too ((hugs))

[AprilRN1210]

yes sir.. I know you do.. and that is why it means a lot to me.. thank you again...

[Ayushi]

It connected so well..
Your write is so heartfelt and appealing.. Life is really strange, it's never the same..
I liked the strength you displayed.. :)

[AprilRN1210]

Thank you for this kind, thoughtful review.. I am glad that I was able to connect and that you enjoyed.. ((hugs))

[Sophy Freebirds]

The theme- demons decoded.. how brilliant is that.The first line of the poem "the truth wants to be set free"i could relate it to a bible verse. We create our own world where we walk acccording to the ways of the world trying to blend in.And forever losing our identity.we forget we are unique we are best as we are.Conformiing with this world we bound ourselves in chain..But we need to fly to who we are.Inspiring piece of work.Decode the demons in you.. ;)

~Sophy

[AprilRN1210]

Thank you so much for this kind, insightful review.. I honestly appreciate it.. I am glad that you could see the message and that you enjoyed it... :)

[Sophy Freebirds]

It was a pleasure N***a :) you've earned the appreciation.

[Tate Morgan]

April thank you you had it in you all along this is your best work so far

[AprilRN1210]

Thank you, Tate.. As I stated in my author's note, you are amazing and I appreciate everything... :)

[Tate Morgan]

You are so deserving and welcome

[Madalyn Beck]

I really enjoyed this piece. It is true, love yourself, and others will love you in return. You don't need to be something your not, no matter what others might say. Stunning. :)

[AprilRN1210]

Thank you... Not really a question of being something you aren't more like being a shadow of what you used to be, broken, and trying to find way back to what u once were... I am glad that you liked it.. :)

[Lyn Anderson]

This is really beautiful. For me, it reminds me of being abused, and how it kills your spirit and saps you physically until you are no longer who you were.

[AprilRN1210]

Thank you ma'am, for this insightful review.... U do have a knack for seeing in there don't you... ... I am glad you liked it.... ((Hugs))

[anne]

so connecting and emotional......loved this one......life is like this only,agonies will keep coming yet a hope emerge always to come out of that........wonderful message.......
last lines were truely amazing.......ya,the real beauty is just inside........

[AprilRN1210]

Thank you.. I am glad that I could touch you and that you enjoyed it. I appreciate your time and thoughts..

[Troy Henson]

This one is a fav of mine April. The depth of emotion, heart ache, pain in this is overwhelming. Oh how I can relate to this on so many levels. We find ourselves on rocky roads often feeling broken, beaten, damaged but the will to walk on prevails (only in some of us) as its almost a challenge to us. We are only ever as god as our last fight my dear so there is always room for improvement. Hope is everything that we do we just need to believe in ourselves, love who we are and accept our past.

Loved this. Very touching April....Thank you

Troy

[AprilRN1210]

Thank you so much, Troy.. I cannot begin to tell you what this review means to me... This is me exposing myself... some of my demons... and it isn't always easy and to hear how it touched you and that you can relate means so much.... You are always so insightful, genuine, and honest and I appreciate your friendship, your time, and your thoughts... ((hugs))

[Troy Henson]

Hugs back to you my dear. Smile :)

[AprilRN1210]

you always make me smile, sir.. thank you for that.. :)

[Inda]

Where there is pain, there can be beauty. Usually all those feeling you describe are the aftermath of some sort of relationship or relationshit, either way it's a chance you took. That's all we do in life take chances. What i got from this is that you sort of took one and didn't work out, but you learned from it. Great piece!

[AprilRN1210]

well, good morning mr.. weird hours like me... Thank you for this lovely insight.. where there is pain, there can be beauty if one takes the time to look you are absolutely correct.. Very relationship in your life leaves its mark on you, whether good or bad, lover or friend.. it can damage or heal the soul.... hopefully in the end and if left in the dark, you can reflect and see that lesson... who knows.... I appreciate your time and your thoughts:)

[SquinklaPsyOps]

Like the form of this and it brings me to a time that pauses awhile to stir me with memories and emotions.

[AprilRN1210]

Thank you.