Demons Decoded

Seeking answers to this dark angel's demons..

“Life is filled with unanswered questions, but it is the courage to seek those answers that continues to give meaning to life. You can spend your life wallowing in despair, wondering why you were the one who was led towards the road strewn with pain, or you can be grateful that you are strong enough to survive it.”  
J.D. Stroube

The truth wants to be set free
crying out for you to know
numb… bitter.. from… arctic cold

prisoner ‘neath fallen snow.

I used to shimmer bright
life… illuminated.. me
now just struggle everyday
festering.. in .. vacancy.

How did I end up stuck here?
back to this scared, little girl
forsaken...or… abandoned
trapped in my own frozen world.

I used to be… so fearless
bullheaded, brazen and bold
a force to be reckoned with
truly…. a sight… to behold.

How did I end up dumped here?
with a shattered, broken heart
rattling….. ragged….. pieces
'twas savagely ripped apart.

I used to be so carefree
bubbly, spirited, and kind
now plagued with demonic fear
running rampant through my mind.

Now that I am really here
must break catastrophic chains
patching….. together….. pieces
fixing fragmented remains.

I will learn to love myself
stop trying to run and hide
letting other people see….
the real beauty that’s inside.

 

Author's Note

Reviews

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

Beautiful poem, April. It's true you know, you can't love someone if you don't love yourself. On a certain point in our life, we all ask this question: how did I end up here? Contemplating at that moment about the way we have travelled may show us where we have failed or what we have to do better or in another way. Reading your poem, brought my thoughts to all this. Very well done. :) Rudi

[AprilRN1210]

What an insightful review!. I couldn't agree more and you summed it up perfectly.. Thank you so much, I appreciate your time, thought, and kindness. It is nice to see you:)

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

My pleasure, April. :) Rudi

[Enayet1999]

a relatively well written poem. i like your caption. i can feel the emotion in my heart, and although, you look very young, April. I'd have to say you're future is looking very bright. Also, you're a very beautiful young girl with so much courage and passion. I feel so much love when i read your work, and simply, in my point of view, you're the best looking girl i've ever seen. Lots of love: Enayet
May i recommend you take a look at my chapter one? Thanks

[Chloe_Spence]

Wow what an amazing piece of writing, April.
You have done a wonderful job at creating a raw, emotive piece.
Also- love the music :) Paramore is great :)

[AprilRN1210]

Thank you so much girl.. I am glad that you enjoyed this one.. yes, love this song.. especially this acoustic version.. so much passion... that is what speaks to me... music has saved my sanity I know for sure... ((hugs)) for this awesome review...

[salvador (camuel choisu..]

Great work of art I loved every minute of it every single phrase that I read. incredible writing.

[AprilRN1210]

well, thank you so much for this lovely review... I am so glad that you liked it...

[salvador (camuel choisuel)]

Your welcome //.,^

[MsJewel]

A brave and honest piece of writing, I can feel the emotion in your words and tell this was written from a vulnerable place - one that you don't often show. While there is pain and sadness here, there is hope at the end...a strength that is both beautiful and brave. You are an amazing person my friend - and a talented poet. My best to you.
Hugs, Julie

[AprilRN1210]

Thank you for this beautiful review.. you have made me all misty-eyed with it.. jeez... first you do it with your poetry and now with your reviews.. shame on you ma'am....... This one was written from a deep, vulnerable place but it felt good to let it out.. I still have that hope.. the stubborn side of me won't let it go... thanks again girl.. I honestly appreciate every single word, and will cherish this review.. ((hugs)) back at you..

[WILDERNESS]

That spirit cannot be defeated. the poem makes a weak person strong, has power in it............... loved it.

[AprilRN1210]

Thank you for this lovely review.. I am glad that you enjoyed it.. and yes, the spirit can be stronger than imagined..

[Md. Ziaul Haque]

"I will learn to love myself
stop trying to run and hide
letting other people see….
the real beauty that’s inside."

One word- 'wonderful!'

[AprilRN1210]

Thank you, I am glad that you enjoyed it:)

[Edward Lancheister]

well expression blend betwern delicate words. the struggle, beauty and sorrow collide. i like the way you express those feeling

[AprilRN1210]

well, thank you so much for these kind words.. I appreciate it... I am glad that you liked it.. :)

[Edward Lancheister]

your welcome it's a pleasure to read your poem :)

[Frieda P]

This is such a reflection of my mood in the present moment, it's as if you reached into my throat and made the words suddenly appear....you always reach deep, no matter what you write about. Awe inspiring read as always April. xo

[AprilRN1210]

Thank you ma'am... deep is where REAL is... may not like what I find sometimes.. but it is ME and needs to be let out... I am glad you liked and can relate.. ((hugs)) you are the awe inspiring one...:)

[Frieda P]

That's what I love about your poetry, it comes from the depths of you. Every time I come to your poem, I get a 'threat detected', must be that fancy pic you have, which I can't see! :)

[AprilRN1210]

is it my video? the pic is the one from the avatar.. hmmm that sucks.. and thank you...

[Frieda P]

I don't think so, came up google pic or something like that, makes no sense, but what do you want, it's from a computer virus program with no feelings?! Didn't happen this time, maybe it's a cafe glitch....

[AprilRN1210]

who the heck knows ma'am... I am glad it didn't do it this time... it is good to see you girl.. I have missed you... :D

[Frieda P]

Have missed you too scarecrow. :)

[AprilRN1210]

yea if... I only.... had a brain....lol

[Frieda P]

Hahaha that's NOT what I meant sillyhead! ;)

[AprilRN1210]

yea... uh huh..... well, see why I need that brain?... if I had it... I'd have figured that out.. :P

[Frieda P]

Have you never watched OZ? ;)

[AprilRN1210]

yes, I have seen it.. why?
what you tryin to say ma'am??

[Frieda P]

Just wondering if you caught my drift....

[AprilRN1210]

oh yes.. I have a bad moonwalk.... lol

[Frieda P]

Ha I bet you do.....

[AprilRN1210]

oh yes... my hips don't lie either... lol
too cheesy?
come on....
you giggled.....

[Frieda P]

Ha you know I did.....

[AprilRN1210]

good!!! that's what counts... good to see a little of your bright light ma'am... it is infectious... :)

[Frieda P]

Awh you're sweet! I wrote something a bit naughty to get myself out of that dark funk you'll be happy to know... ;)

[AprilRN1210]

ooooooh, what is it.. I want to go read... you send me RR?.... love how it does make you feel better... always helps me... that's why I went from this one to that one... lose yourself in that raw passion and pleasure that follows.. oh yes ma'am.... send it to me please!!!

[Ty]

I agree, a very brave piece of writing. Honest and true. I really enjoyed this.

[AprilRN1210]

well, thank you very much for this kind, thoughtful review.. I am glad that you enjoyed it.. :)

[realmwriter]

Your words leap off the page with such passion as if to burn my retinas for reading them. There is intensity of pain here that is rare to capture in such soft light. Yet in the end you seem to reconcile your pain and realize that you can be yourself and love yuorself again. Very good write my friend. I enjoyed it much.

[AprilRN1210]

well, thank you so much for this lovely, insightful review.. I am glad that it touched you and that you enjoyed it.. I appreciate your time and thoughts.. :)

[realmwriter]

Your most welcome my friend. Most welcome indeed.