Cat and Canvas

Rhythmic rain

pounds on roof,

eye to eye in

tongue and groove,

lying still, 

shallow breath,

smoky fingers

run through hair

music whispers

in my ear. I

submit to

purple haze.

 

 

Through closed lids

I watch you.

Lithe and limber

like a panther

circle, slowly

closing in,

panting on

my exposed

canvas. Brush

strokes, black 

stain, falling

fringe sweeps

skin, rendered

submissive to

your design

I am branded,

happy to be,

painted prey.

Reviews

[R J Askew]

A stirring read. I love the drama and art of the moment and I love the execution of the whole, the word choice and the drama of the taut language which complements that of the moment. And yet despite the obvious sensuality there is also a serenity about it all, a contentment at the commitment to art. 'Rhythmic rain' just two words but they set the scene well as they inject the poem with an instant dynamism and elemental energy. 'Pounds' is a great verb and engages our hearing. Hearts also pound. 'Tonge and groove' is also evocative. 'Lying still' is a strong contrast to 'Pounding rain'. 'Shall breath' denotes excitement, urgency. Yet we are lying still! Hair/eyes/ears...the senses engage with the sensuous. Ach, and purple haze...we see the excitemant of Jimbo with his axe. And at the same time a cloud of calmness. Verse two gets even stronger. 'Through closed lids' suggests that, while lying still, there may be a little reverse hunting going on. 'Lithe ... to ... exposed canvass' paints a picture of the painter at work. But, it is the last nine and a half lines which are the best as they give us a clear view of the rush of feelings that are simultaneously going on in your mind. 'Rendered submissinve to your design' is a great bit of phrasing. And one just knows that in the submission there is a tremendous power also. 'Branded and happy' are also strong and pleasing verbs. I'd say there is not a word wasted in this cat-springing piece of writing. Great stuff.

[Hello, Goodbye]

perfection.. I love the melodic rhythm and the vitality in your imagery.. Its a streaming piece of wonderment..

[Coyote Poetry]

Poem is very good. Description and story was amazing. I have my tattoos. Coyote and a hawk. I could never find a good coyote drawing. A outstanding poem. Could feel the contentment in your words.
Coyote

[Markymark]

Ha ha.....the reviewers don't get this at all do they? Be forewarned though, today's tiger may be tomorrows zebra.

Not a big tatoo fan myself, but I understand it.

Mark

[Kelley]

Kind of a sexy poem you got going on there.
I like it a lot thanks for sharing.
kelley

[Jibey]

I liked the way you made the cat's movements so sensual and seductive... and the way you submitted... A charming and teasing write.

[An owl on the moon]

So dreamish, moving, sensual write that suggests such a beautiful, painted canvass. What wonderful depth and vividness.

[Tomás Ó C..]

Cool... to paint a cat...

[PianoandPage]

mmmm. delicious. i love the beat of this poem. very sensuous.

your light and playful use of alliteration (always) makes me smile. :)

there was only ONE place where i got tripped up. and the only reason is because you had created this natural sort of rythmn and i felt that

"smoky fingers run" - was too many syllabyls and sort of broke the stride for me.

i'd suggest maybe something like

"smoky fingers
run through hair" - the line break i think works better this way. jmho.

aside from that very slight suggestion i thought the piece is brilliant. a nice "captured moment" of lovers and the prey / predator dance they perform.

the last line is killer (pun intended).

[Orlando Murcia]

Very colorful and well written
Great form and rhythm

Very playful

Great write April

Orlando M

[Lauren Xena Campbell]

I love the rhythm of this piece, it's so enticing (for want of a better word). It has some sort of almost primitive beat to it which I really loved because I think it fits well with your phrasing, "Rhythmic rain" shallow breath" "music whispers" "painted prey". It's as Orlando said, very artistic. And the first person perspective really gives it the finishing touch for me. Really enjoyed this, nicely done!