Sitting in Coffee

Sitting in bed,

drinking coffee,

looking at your flowers.

 

Eating bed,

drinking flowers,

looking at coffee.

 

Drinking in bed

eating coffee,

while the flowers watch.

 

Sitting in coffee,

looking at bed,

eating flowers.

 

However you look,

it makes no sense.

 

 

Reviews

[PianoandPage]

wow. i love the sort of abstract rearranging of these 3 things. this is what i love about art. how it's about taking the ordinary and shifting them about. changing the order.

i read this as sort of 3 things we tie to relationships....

each has multiple meaning which works great as the emphasis and image changes with each stanza.

the last stanza almost makes me thing that the writer has a sort of wry humor about the way relationships are and/or end. that no matter how you try to mix things up .... "it's sad and makes no sense".

very creative!

i would love to take this stanza by stanza but i'm fighting yet another cold and my head is fuzzy. i will later on.

[The Flawed]

I really like what I have seen of your work on here so far, its so different to everything else.
Even though it say "it's sad and, makes no sense
" I don't think it's sad and I think it makes perfect sense. She is sad because he is not there with her, not because he is not there anymore, and it does not make any sense because it's a new and strange feeling how she feels, not in total control, not 100% secure, but it feels good and that to her does not make any sense
But what do I know?
Good job

[Pax Analog]

Droll prismatic tilting.

Straight on, it would seem the flowers are a too-late make-up attempt.

Be that as it may, I really enjoy the rest of the tilt, since I'm not sure anything makes any particular sense, even when it seems on the up and up! ;-)

I'm sitting on the keyboard, typing with my eyelid. . .

[Patient Poet (Yos)]

Ha!! ...wonderful :) .... what a beautiful poem, and so clever, now try to find what of those lines are real , Me

[Jon Gary Frost]

wow. the word scramble was a great foreshadow to the final stanza. the emotions i projected onto the character were mutliple:

scorned lover, cheating girlfriend, girlfriend cheated on, were the flowers from a liar or to a liar. i could see it both ways. it could also be utter indifference with no traumatic event (which would be the saddest of all).

this piece has the ability for the reader to inject their own meaning. a meaning pulled from a multitude of personal events. great job.

[fireblossom]

Cool poem. Floating in the feeling of it all. I like it.

The last stanza is almost not necessary. It drops an anchor in an otherwise abstract poem.

I think the reader would do well to stay in the spaciness of this work.

:-)

[Just Charles]

Interesting arrangement of words in this poem. Somewhat confusing, but good.

[Vitamin A]

I love this! It's so witty and creative.

The last stanza seems to sum everything up, and can be interpreted in so many ways.

Keep it up.

[Gandré]

Why I loved this poem is - you give the loneliness its own dynamics, how it mirrors in the mixed feelings, this is a wonderful kind of seeing world.

[John Morris]

I really like this piece; i had to read it a couple of times to wrap my head around it but i see what you did.

Without repeating RagTagJesus a great piece and very cleverly done.

[~Mariposa Una Lila~]

lol very cute! i get it! x0x0x00x