Woven Words and Soothing Swathes

My Soothing Swathes in response to Murph's Woven Words.. his text is black mine is grey.

Woven words

spun for you

whisper softly

from the loom

 

Awake to the sound

of silky tones

fine filaments

caress my ear

 

Each memory

a fastened warp

for a new weft

making room

 

Rustling bolts

of swishing silk

soothing swathes

pervade the air

 

Back and forth

in willowy knit

unfulfilled dreams

become known

 

This wonderful weave

our tapestry

wafts over me

fine as hair

 

As threads entwined

in rhythmic dance

find life in the

mesmeric drone

 

Drops and drapes

across my curves

gossamer sheet

of us I wear

 

…Fabric of you

   fabric of me

   fabric of us

  fabric of we

 

 

 

Reviews

[J. James Reider]

I didn't read your heading before reading your work.... I had no idea this was written by two seperate people, it seemed like it came from one mind! I have never thought of writing with someone else, so you just expanded my horizon! There is so much powerful imagery here that it is easy to get lost in the piece.... I always love reading poems that you can get lost in, it is kind of like being carried on a mystic wave! A very brilliant piece at the apex of literary marvel! Awesome job!

[waywithwords]

Fantastic you really weaved your magic thread through this awesome poem. You have done your friend proud.
Great imagery and alliteration too. Annexxx

[[untitled]]

good words. Its got a smooth flow. A bit to fancy for my taste but its good

[Jane Doe]

A truly amazing piece. I love when you two write together, the result is always so beautiful.

[justink :):)]

i realy like it i think it is good


justintime

aka justin

[Larissa G.]

I think that you made a very fine piece of work. My only complaint: the two lines:

unfulfilled dreams
become known

The second seems a bit too bland compared to the rest of the poem, too straight forward. I think a different choice of words would complete the poem even more. :) But still, it's absolutely beautiful.

[Murphy]

Such a tight response can only come from one place... gossamer sheet of us I wear... each line interlaced with purpose and meaning bringing new life to the original lines. Splendid, if I may say so myself :)

[Kara Emily Krantz]

this is quite gorgeous - and your words choices are flawless - gossamer, swathes, ... the list goes on

"fine filaments

caress my ear"

from that point on, i knew this was going to be something special, and spoken with the idea of weaving and fabric... that was carried so seamlessly (no pun intended!) throughout th entire piece.

and the collaboration part worked out wonderfully - i like how individually you made your pieces rhyme, but didn't force the rhyme into each other's verses. i might think to use that concept in the future. :) you inspire me to want to be collaborative! lol

big hugs. beautiful piece :)