Love Bites

Distracted and I find myself doodling with words.... here is a collection of doodles....

My fingers stroke the

letters you carved

in the oak tree.

In my mind its

not my name

my fingers trace

but your face.

 

    .........

 

If you asked me

how many times

I thought of  you

today I would have

to say just once.

One long thought

from the moment

I opened my eyes.

 

     .......... 

 

Leaning my head on

the cool glass, gazing

out at falling

snowflakes my breath

mists the window

and I write your

name in the fog.

Reviews

[__Flaw__]

Are we missing somebody????
Doodling for sure...a part from the leaning ur head on the cool glass gazing out at the falling snow flakes. If it's wait, it'll soon be over. If it's a longing, then perhaps the fog would stay for a long time, and if it's a mist of loss, it's time to move on. Very few would take a chance on someone who's gone.
Well, that was quite poignant. :)))

[Steffi]

Cute idea. I think that you portrayed the feeling of longing for someone that has gone away and all you have left is something small to hold onto.

For me there was something missing the lines didnt seem to flow

[Christina2]

One long thought

from the moment

I opened my eyes.


AMAZING... EXACTLY!!! exactly.. that's what love is, a consuming passion, a longing for every moment to be in their presence, even if, even though, even though...

[Evil_Angel]

This has a pablo nerudo type feel to it, I absolutely love it and was very touched by it. I love the..."if you asked me how many times I thought of you I would say just once", that is genius great job :)

[Marquise]

My fingers stroke the

letters you carved

in the oak tree.

get out of my head april.. I swear ive literally done that before.. you are one of the realist writers around.. period..

[Murphy]

Happy is the man whose name evokes such a charming response!... beautifully written :)

[Spoken]

these are powerful little tid-bits you've created. Each one of them so deeply soaked in love. It is clear your heart spoke out in sort little moments when love crept in. I really enjoyed these... going in my favs.

[Danielle Asher]

wow, i don't usually fall to hard for love poems but this is AMAZING. The first two stanzas especially. it is just dreamy... it makes you feel like you are in a love haze reading it, that fog you feel when you are in love. I know, it's as if you are in love for the few seconds it takes you to read this piece. :)
Great write.
Thanks.

peace,
danielle

[Keith]

What a wonderful depiction of the waif. Gone, lost and approaching transcendental.

Nicely laid out and capturing all, most of all the reader.

[SPINNING ON that dizzy ..]

Oh, this is precious - just the way you feel when love is sneaking in.... the way it taps you on the shoulder or whispers in your ear ..... playful and sweet - as new love should be.... I guy that carves your name in a tree - well that is just too special not to get into your head and your heart.....

Special hugs!!!!

Kath

[R J Askew]

I like the way the tree becomes a face, but it is the image of doodling in the fog on the window that I think is the best bit.....but the whole thing is lovely...three very sweet ideas stitched together with great economy ... the ideas do all the work adding more words would get in the way and clutter things up. The feeling comes through totally! sounds like love to me!