Electric Slide

A bit of nonsense written to amuse a friend in North Carolina who was attending a wedding where pickled pigs feet and tater salad were on the menu.

Billy Ray saw Betty Sue

at the fair at Crittercreek county

in the shade of a magnolia tree

sitting and sipping

a mint julep 

 

Peachy skin and curly hair

she sure was purdy, way I heard tell

he was so taken with this southern belle

she rigged his frog gig

lickety split

 

He hunkered down at her feet

said “hey sweetie I do declare

dang, I’ll follow you most anywhere

I feel it deep in

my bread basket”

 

“Your druthers is my ruthers”

she replied, stood and shook down her frock

took his hand went for some yellow rock

stirred the bucket and

dosado, yee ha

 

Carried away, walking on a slant

didn’t know when to burn and crash

a larking led to the hot hash

she let him electric slide

on in

 

Y’all can guess what happens next

Billy Ray knocked up Betty Sue

caused a right old hullaballoo

cat fair sent the pidgeons

cattywampus

 

Pa wanted Billy Ray tarred and feathered

next thing you know they’re getting wed

Pappy’s shotgun at his head

that good ole boy was

fit to be tied

 

Redneck caviar, possum pie

tater salad and pickled pig’s feet

was this couple’s wedding fare treat

hoe down, grab a root

and skedaddle

 

Guess the moral to this tale

is as old as those hills with eyes

before you part those inviting thighs

y’all dip your end

snug as a bug

in rubber friend

Reviews

[THE BLACK SEAL]

man this is fantastic..if you have ever read my stuff you would know why ilike it so damn much...lol i actually laughed out loud and i dont often do that. so kudos to you..

[Haden]

haha!! I think you should pitch this to Trojan!! i was drawling the whole time!! great redneck write!!

"Redneck caviar, possum pie
tater salad and pickled pig's feet"

i truly hope that you didn't have to experience the menu to write this so well! fun to read, thanks!

[SweetPeachesAlways]

Too delightful! I love this! Howdy, you'all! I totally remember this wedding! Dixie cups filled with Mad Dog and wash tubs filled with Bud Light! Even the chillins was drunk 'for the nite was o'er!

Good job, lil darlin'!

[Vanessa Whiteley]

I thought I'd commented on this one. Guess I didn't. I love the expressions.

Pa wanted Billy Ray tarred and feathered
next thing you know they're getting wed
Pappy's shotgun at his head
that good ole boy was
fit to be tied

what fun. And I love the end.

[Murphy]

What a scream!... somewhere between the mint julep and Pappy's shotgun, I was able to catch my breath... haha... this is great.

[Karma]

I really enjoyed this it's cute1

[R J Askew]

This is hillarious! I like the way you have captured a feel of the rich expressivness or rural America, including 'druthers in my ruthers' ... 'frog gig' ... 'Walking on a slant' and 'Those hills with eyes'. Dang! Can almost see the eyes. Also like the richness of the wedding feast including ... 'Redneck caviar' and especially 'pickled pigs feet'. Very amusing and well executed. The story is an age old one of course, but still happening every day, with varying consequences. A shotgun wedding, while funny, would be no joke in certain parts of the world.

[Vicki Phipps]

Ha Ha..HEY...THIS IS GREAT! GOOD, "PIECE."