In Bed with Apathy

I challenged Ragtag Jesus to write a poem about lazy so I had to write one too, took a while because I couldn't be bothered...

I lay beneath my blanket of apathy

it envelops me, slowly

smothering the life

from me until

all that's

left

is

.

 

Reviews

[Phil Askew]

Awesome! I think you've captured the feel of laziness, the desire to remain in bed, the dwindling energy, the acceptance of unimportance. Your construction dwindles down, your words rush towards nothing. Perhaps you would consider "beneath" instead of "under." "Blanket of apathy" is a great metaphor, maybe "it smothers the life from me" for I can't see a blanket "consuming." Loved the poem.

Phil

[Travis Lawrence]

This poem reminds me of, well, me sometimes, I guess. It is very much what apathy is like, well put.

Have a nice day!

[J.P.O.et]

Yes, I love Phil's review
the visual presentation is stunning the way it captures 'dwindling energy' as he says
This piece and many others on the wc
have made me appreciate the power of short poems
I plan on exploring further, thanx for the inspiration
J.P.O.et

[Yvonne Heidt]

Again, there isn't much that I could add to your reviews already given! However, I could relate and I loved the title. Decreasing the interest until it says "nothing." Brilliant, actually.

[An owl on the moon]

In a soft way this challenged me to throw off apathy's blanket and rise up to live (something I have been struggling with lately). Too often we are overcome with nothingness until we wonder where our life has gone. Thank you!

[the_real_me]

i don't get it at all

[Larissa G.]

It's very simple, and even though it gets the point across it somehow feels incomplete...which I guess it should feel?
Hm. Odd but interesting.

[Vanessa Whiteley]

I was thinking at first that this would work well in some sort of decreasing form - 8, 6, 4, 2, but on reflection that wouldn't reflect apathy. So this is great just as it is.

[Solst Rapture]

This created an eerie feeling in me at first, but then felt like a revelation. It is a very strong metaphor and one that I have to agree with. It's feels calm to think of a life without apathy.

A wonderfully creative piece of writing.

Nice to meet you.

[V. K. Harris]

It seems to take control of one of my days off. Great Write.