Riding The Wave

It comes again

the wave

pure uncut panic

stomach twists

I feel sick

reach for the phone

put it down

light a cigarette

the wave engulfs me

I’m drowning in

every negative emotion

filling and spilling

from every orifice

and then, it’s gone

 

All is the same

the fridge still hums

washing still dries

dishwasher waits

to be emptied

as I am

empty

Reviews

[The Archangel Gabriel]

Nice analogy. I have a different view of waves as a surfer. Some people see the piece of Greenland (?) that is supposed to fall off and send a 100-400 foot tsunami towards the East Coast as a disaster. I kind of see it as an opportunity. I so hope that I can come back to live and see if I can live through a great surfing adventure. It is also a disaster.

Beautifully written, and a very nice picture! That makes me miss the West Coast of Central America!

-Gabe

[PianoandPage]

i love the texture of this piece. the wording is so good. "uncut panic" nice way to express out of control emotion.

"filling and spilling" nice use of poetic meter.

the last stanza is good but i feel like it needs a little tweaking.

i'd maybe change the way it flows a little

"All is the same
the fridge still hums
washing is still drying
dishwasher waits to be emptied
As I am
Empty" - could also be written as

"all is the same
the fridge still hums
the wash still dries
the dishwater waits to be emptied out
like me."

just my thoughts. otherwise this is a short and powerful mood piece.

[Rain]

I like this. Unfortunately it tells a real truth. Life keeps moving, no matter what else is going on, and obviously, something was happening in your life. It's an important lesson that you wrote of so well. Rain..

[R J Askew]

Tis sad you are in a pickle and the feeling you describe so accurately is unpleasant. But as you say in the poem it does pass. And that line in the poem 'the fridge still hums' I love for its wry humour and the sharpness of the observation. I can hear the fridge and almost feel the impression it makes on you as your senses pick it up, along with the significance of it. The end of the poem is starkly sad though as the orgiginal mood has another tug at you. Time to take the dogs for a walk perhaps.

[SPINNING ON that dizzy ..]

This is a good purge of emotions - it is hard to believe that regular stuff just happens when your heart is twisting and your brain is still asking what happened?! Life will go one and things will get better or they will get different. Think of new possibilities - think of positive changes - think of giving the socks to the Goodwill. I know the need to pace and throw up your hands - you will be a pile of tears and a ball of rage (once I get to the mad stage - I am usually better ... the how dare he think it was ok to.....) Hope this helped you.

Kath

[V. K. Harris]

Yes, I ride that wave everyday, a torturous wave it is. Great Write.