Undone

This one just came to me out of nowhere, it seems.

I still wait for my love story,
But no longer brood in empty
Drawn out light of summer’s
Discontent…

          Will I die without knowing?

          You must be there…
          Somewhere…
          Winter licks my body,
          Yet my bosom remains warm…

Secrets I cannot hide
If for one moment these
Brown eyes blink…
Frost drips from dark lashes,

And I stand unfinished as life
Kisses death…
Flames transfer to ashes
Scattered upon Lake Erie,

And I am
Finally free….
Wondering…

          Amidst a fragrant blue mist
          Of forget-me-nots…

 

 

Reviews

[These Haunted Hallways]

Woh, dude, this was totally awesome!!! Im like shocked right now-It totally blew me away hehe. I love the haunting effect you gave it, and the melancholy tone of lonliness and despair that really made it. It's like a lost soul walking the beaches at night searching for a long lost love or somethin, and u become a ghost in the process--kinda creates this haunting hopeless romantic story that can make anyone who reads it cry. I had a few tears myself hehe. This really hit me a lot. I definitely agree with Coyote, too. Beautiful piece! Fantastic job here! :)

B.A.

[Legion]

Hauntingly intense. Favorite lines:

Winter licks my body,
Yet my bosom remains warm�

Emotionally provocative and intoxicating. Well done.

[An owl on the moon]

This was so beautiful.. captivating... You create a world of the most tender memories and feelings... And here in your words is a longing for what could be.. what you hope to see... and amidst that fragrant mist that desire is understood... Wonderful bittersweet write...

[Coyote Poetry]

I enjoyed this poem. Words dance so beautiful in my head. A beautiful poem. Your usage of words and flow of the poem made this a pleasure to read.
Coyote