Grain of Sand

sonnet VI

 

Summer lovers lost in a robe of light,

Thoughts found in a mermaid's hair,

Brightness ascending torrid thighs,

Two ripened hearts beyond compare,

Peculiar how folds the imagination,

When summer's blue view is banned,

An hourglass, our sweet vacation,

Dwindles to blank stones of land,

Ability never put together entirely,

We are no longer as the white whales,

But men dwelling in a moon so precise,

Venus amid a wreckage of rainbow shells;

     The tide must ebb and flow by rule and rule,

     And we disappear into the attic of the skull...

 

Reviews

[Von Halford]

Morning sky cloudy and gray,
Here am I, Must as the day,
Empty bed you're still on my mind,
Empty heart nothing defines how,
Lonely, Lonely since you left me,
Lonely since you left me,
Lonely since you left me here alone.


Your poem reminds me of that song. It's stuck in my head. Although I've never been able to figure out who sings it. Google doesn't bring up anything. Amazing poem though :)

[Pax Analog]

A kind of Never-NeverLand riff on Blake's grain of sand lines.

Sparkles with delight; rife with spicy flavors.

At the top of the skull is a portal to the great spiralling beyond. Mystic range in the now; mortal death exit too.

From torrid thighs to Sky of Mind is the swoon of Eros.

Excellent.

[An Ordinary Woman]

Such lovely words for a lovely poem. You have a special way of describing details- I admire that. It gives me a chance to sink in and think about all the possibilities here. Every line is delicious. Great job!

[Ice Queen of the Vampir..]

Mmm, this is such a beautiful piece. Wonderful imagery and oh so fabulously written. Excellent work!!!

Heather

[Tate Morgan]

oH HOW QUICKLY THE BEAUTY OF YOUTH DOES FADE AND THE MEMORIES ARE THERE FOREVER TORMENTING US
taTE

[Legion]

The whole poem is good, but those last three lines should be removed and bronzed to preserve them for all time. Exceptionally phrased. I was awe-struck when I came across those three. Wonderful. Going in favorites just because of that. Kudos chica. ;)

[These Haunted Hallways]

This speaks about a lot of stuff here. Mostly about everday life and time, itself. And another reason maybe the way we control our lives, or those who control the Earth as well. And i guess the most important thing is to live each day to the fullest, and dont take no s**t from anyone lol! Great job hun, really good ;)

B.A.

[Kena Dawn Augustine]

Very beautiful. Very pictersque and great imagrey. Even without that beautiful picture to accompany it, I was still enchanted by the picture you painted in my head. There really is nothing to critique, it was close to perfection. thanks for sharing.

[Rylan Batten]

Very serene with good imagery. You're good at incorporating word usage and meaning with things like text color and pictures to take your poetry to the next level. I really enjoyed this. Keep it up