Grain of Sand

sonnet VI

 

Summer lovers lost in a robe of light,

Thoughts found in a mermaid's hair,

Brightness ascending torrid thighs,

Two ripened hearts beyond compare,

Peculiar how folds the imagination,

When summer's blue view is banned,

An hourglass, our sweet vacation,

Dwindles to blank stones of land,

Ability never put together entirely,

We are no longer as the white whales,

But men dwelling in a moon so precise,

Venus amid a wreckage of rainbow shells;

     The tide must ebb and flow by rule and rule,

     And we disappear into the attic of the skull...

 

Reviews

[Von Halford]

Morning sky cloudy and gray,
Here am I, Must as the day,
Empty bed you're still on my mind,
Empty heart nothing defines how,
Lonely, Lonely since you left me,
Lonely since you left me,
Lonely since you left me here alone.


Your poem reminds me of that song. It's stuck in my head. Although I've never been able to figure out who sings it. Google doesn't bring up anything. Amazing poem though :)

[Dani California]

Oh you lovely, talented poet. This is incredibly profound - and in form no less. Excellent metaphors.

"The tide must ebb and flow by rule and rule,

And we disappear into the attic of the skull... "

WOW.

You are so talented, Tami. I love reading your work.

[Senseless whatever]

Great visuals and feeling. A very emotional piece

[Morgan A Lynch]

awesome write... love the last line.. good job..

[Ladysue]

Another gorgeous write...love that last line...

[Nicole (Carpe Diem)]

as always... great piece of writing...
hope all is well with you...

[SM Davis]

into the attic of the skull...

I LIKE that. Nicely done my dear. Very nicely done.

[Emily B]

This is wonderful. I am always a little envious of somemone who writes so masterfully in a form like this.

[THE LOST ROSE]

The words captivated and moved me like the wind. When it ended I wanted more another journey. Very powerful and direct romantic flow of the english language. Almost like a dance. Great work here.

When summer's blue view is banned,
An hourglass, our sweet vacation,
Dwindles to blank stones of land,

wonderful phrase here.

[C.R. Moore "Lasla"]

Ahhhhhh Appolonia I have missed you magic in words dear, this was exquisite and warm. I loved the flow and metaphors used to bring the imagery to life deep in the mind of the reader. well done and well written in all accounts.
I loved these lines such a vision it created for me!
Summer lovers lost in a robe of light,

Thoughts found in a mermaid's hair,

Brightness ascending torrid thighs,

Two ripened hearts beyond compare,
Lasla

[Bhavya Kaushik]

Oh...What a beautiful sonnet!
It was so thoughtful and intense. The flow of this piece is simply brilliant..It's absolutely flawless.
The imagery in the opening line is outstanding.
I also loved the way you concluded it, that was very deep-

The tide must ebb and flow by rule and rule,
And we disappear into the attic of the skull...