hush-hush

adaptation of a poem by William Blake called 'Love's Secret'

 

 

Always keep your cloak of mystery,

        Spread across the violet sky,

            Or he might miss your beauty,

                   Seeking softer, silent eyes.

 

                        She unveiled her secrets;

                         She unclothed her heart,

                         For she loved him...too soon,

                      She unclothed her heart.

 

                  Dreadfully, he did depart;

             A puzzling stranger came by,

         Whispering in the quiet darkness,

Whisking him away with a sigh.

 

Author's Note

This is wriiten just as his was...three quatrains with rhyme occurring in lines two and four...one and three... There is such truth in Blake's verse, yet it is but 12 lines.

Reviews

[Rory CJ Frankson]

Simply beautiful...

[emmajoy]

Superbly written, gently, almost mysteriously formed .. the word is 'haunting', eternal .. such love, such example. You can't do better than write beneath Blake's light

[.]

true to the form..this is magical..

[Alicia Schroeder]

Beautifully written peice

[An owl on the moon]

Love the writings of William Blake and here you capture that haunting essence of his writing. The notion that a life and love should unfold slowly, not just be given away at whim, so profoundly moves through your words... whispers... teaches... You express this all with such an elegance. So beautiful!

[Emily B]

and coming back I wonder . . . about the mysterious, puszzling stranger

[.]

"Dreadfully, he did depart;
A puzzling stranger came by,
Whispering in the quiet darkness,
Whisking him away with a sigh."

{i love the 'hushed' trepidation/ominous way your words feel in this poem-
really--there is a subtle-disquieting feel here--I Love It!!!}

james:-)

[A.Lee]

This is really good! I love the soft mystery feel it has. Beautiful work and so so true.

[C.R. Moore "Lasla"]

Vivid imagery and excellent writing in the style of William Blake. This reminds me of the fact that in English we use the word "love'" so freely. We "love" our cars, blackberries, computers, etc. I prefer your notion of taking time to know something or someone before we choose to give our love and our whole self. The image that you choose is perfect and captures the essence of your poem.
Lasla

[Jessica]

This is beautiful. How do you do it?