Wither

Sonnet II of a series I'm working on

I will dance all alone now;

You have become a stranger to me;

The show has ended, so take your bow;

I am dying on Earth so it be;

For a love that did refuse to grow old, the wind has been crying;

Please, allow not my wings to fail me;

My love has crossed the tainted bridge to darkness denying;

Allow me not to witness the white dove's plea;

No time to pack although my foot despises the door;

The frost of winter has entered;

Arm in arm with death, the wicked wolves have been howling more;

Snow is falling rapidly, paralyzing my core, my centre;

   All that remains is a mere shadow of days gone by;

   When my love found another, my Spring Lilly withered and died.

 

 

Author's Note

This one is a bit more traditional than the last one in that every other line rhymes along with the last two. I really appreciate your thoughts, my friends.

Reviews

[barricade]

WOW! beautiful...tragic...yet so beautiful...loved the imagery...the emotions so powerful...!!! the flow, the rhymes...exceptional!!! the either side of love...love gone away...portrayed with such an imagery!!!

great work...loved every bit of it....!!!
very well done...!!!

keep it up!!

regards
barricade...

[The Viking]

Beautifully tragic, Apollonia. It seems to me a telling poem of a girl who knows a romance she put her heart into is gone, but is not ready to let it go yet, hence the lines 'my foot despises the door' and 'allow me not to witness the white dove's plea'. The sorrow of a soul just realizing something she loved is gone takes form in these words, Two things that might help it, though, would be to get rid of the words 'my centre' in the third to last line - it doesn't seem to fit, and also, it might help to break this into stanzas so the reader can appreciate each stage of the poem. Then again, I'm no expert on sonnets and this is your work and means something special to you and it's great nonetheless. Excellence.

[Emily B]

The Brownings are two of my favorite poets. I don't do very well with the traditional rhymes and meters. My rhymes never lend anything to the finished work, but your grace in forms is fantastic. A pleasure to read.

[Sorry Infamous]

"For a love that did refuse to grow old, the wind has been crying;"
I love that line. This was wonderfully written. It was sad and powerful. Left me with this tight feeling in my chest.

[Fallen Angel]

I'm not very good at giving reviews but I loved your poem and had to say something about it so... yea. Loved your poem and it's going in my favorites.

[C.R. Moore "Lasla"]

EXCELLENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I like the flow and rhyme in the lines they express but yet hide brilliant !
I am dying on Earth so it be;

For a love that did refuse to grow old, the wind has been crying;

Please, allow not my wings to fail me;
Lasla

[Fran Marie]

I remember reading this lovely and well crafted Sonnet~it won in one of my sonnet contests

I don't know how I missed reviewing it,

Outstanding work it truly is, in both form and content!~

Kudos!!

[Clockwork]

I think that this is a strong piece. You fill the form well, keeping it traditional and tweaking it a little at the same time. This is one of my favorites from you so far.

[Reeses]

This is touching and very sad. I read the last two lines a dozen tymes and fell into my own past.
"All that remains is a mere shadow of days gone by;
When my love found another, my Spring Lilly withered and died"
- Losing love hurts and i personally believe it batters the future of love ever existing again.

Great write!

[MockingJuliet]

Beautifully sad. I absolutely adored this piece of writing! Its just perfect. Enough said.