The Dirt Manifesto

A Story by ginsy

The only way to go to Heaven tomorrow is to kill yourself today.

The Dirt Manifesto is constructed so as to precipitate the enlightenment of those who live under the impression that life is sacred- that humanity is an act of divine intervention in the tenuous and ultimately empty existence of the natural world. The Dirt Manifesto serves to deliver unto the philosophical conscience several points to consider and ultimately accept as truth. Some may find the unquestioning acceptance of these Truths distasteful, but we ask you to consider that whether you accept that something is true or not, it remains true. Please consider: 1) humanity is the scourge of the Earth. 2) because sapient beings have a moral imperative to remove beings from existence that put other larger numbers of sapient beings in immediate danger, we have a moral imperative to destroy humans. 3) the destruction and removal of humanity is the best possible thing for the planet Earth. 4) anything that takes life from anything else is sinful. 5) most all things are inherently sinful. 6) there is no such thing as redemption- we are all headed straight to fiery hell. 7) dirt, the basis of the Earth, the blanket which wraps around her spherical body and keeps her warm at night, is purifying. 8) worms consume dirt without destroying it, making worms the purest of all creatures. 9) to kill a worm is deserving of death. 10) Satan is everywhere and he is always watching. 11) the devil in black lurks around the corners and he can see down your throat and up your nose and he knows every filthy disgusting thought you have ever had in your tiny insignificant little mind he reaches is fingers into your brain at night and plucks these thoughts out and eats them like a fish eating worms on a hook except You are the fish and he his fingers never really leave. Finally, 12) the only morally and ideologically pure act is to kill yourself, it's the only way to go to heaven and the only circumstance under which you will be able to see God for yourself and grovel on your knees for forgiveness for your disgusting human existence.

1) Think of every time you have killed a bug. Think of every animal you have ever consumed. These are all sapient beings and while this is not a manifesto concerning the ethics of consuming animals, we are forced to recognize that we are, if nothing else, complacent in cannibalism- we are all animals and we eat each others flesh and love it love it love it like we're participating in a bloody depraved orgy. It is human nature to feel defensive of ourselves because we have been BRAINWASHED to believe that the very act of existing as a person is somehow admirable but this is a LIE and anyone touting it is too far gone to Ever be saved. One of the biggest sins is to buy into the lie of human superiority or excellence. We are the worst of a collection of terrible disgusting beings. We are the only animals operating under the assumption that we are anything other than sacks of fat and blood and s**t.

2) Keep this in mind. An extremely sinful facet of human society is the punishment of murder. To destroy something which destroys others? That is a right and wonderful thing. Even the most sinful and disgusting of humans understands on a fundamental level that to destroy another human life? Good & Right. This creates something of a paradox- we have already established that it is sinful to punish those who kill others, but what of those who are killed for killing? To this we say it is not the actual act of killing a killer which we find sinful, but the motivation for doing so. To think that one is doing a morally right thing by punishing a killer is the ultimate state of presumptive morality. Disgusting disgusting disgusting.

3) We are slowly killing Planet Earth. We kill planet Earth in our endless consumption and excretion of our waste. The oceans are being poisoned and we cry as if the greatest tragedy that can befall the Earth is the inability to support sapient life. No, the greatest tragedy to befall Earth is the way in which we prevent the Earth from supporting itself. We destroy the systems which help it to run- we poison the dirt! The dirt which is a benevolent cover to the Earth, a loving protector and nurturer. THAT is a sin worthy of eternal damnation, and every disgusting human that crawls upon this Earth is guilty of it. How we can spread poison in the dirt and watch the bugs die and the water be made venomous and NOT DO ANYTHING NOT CARE is beyond me. It is beyond anyone who understands any kind of moral reality.

4) I meant what I said when I stated that this is not a manifesto on the ethics of consuming animals. The only thing that makes humans consuming sapient life more sinful than a lion eating a gazelle is the human state of being in which we Naturally presume that we have a right to do what we please because we are Human and therefore justified in any selfish act of self-aggrandizing or instantaneousness gratification. If lions believed themselves to be the only beings which processed complex thought, which were Touched By God (what a joke) they would be in Hell along side us.

5) Do you use your mouth to tout the belief that not only are we "God's Children", but that we are made in His image? Do you use your hands to carve blasphemous words into laminate desks at your crumbling high school? Do you use your feet to step out of the way of oncoming traffic? SINFUL. Every breath that we take motivated by the supposed biological imperative to survive sends us one layer lower in Hell. Everything we touch turns to s**t and it's so pathetic that even God shuffles his feet in embarrassment.

6) The ultimate example of human entitlement lies in the number of religions that promise redemption for anything. Beg God hard enough, mean it enough, cry enough, and you will meet Him at the gates of Heaven. This is a LIE. There is one way to Heaven and it is not wanting it badly enough, or begging enough. Kill yourself and do God's job for him- only then will you have even a chance of being absolved from the grime of your very nature as a cognizant human being.

7) Onan was not struck down for the sin of self-stimulation- he was struck down for the sin of daring to sully the Earth with the filthy products of his quest for gratification. Dirt is pure as it contains the decomposed matter of sinful sapient beings which stood upon it (to consume is to love), dirt is pure because it nourishes plants (arguably the only living beings incapable of sin- how wonderful it must be to not be sapient, to have no awareness but the nourishing affect of the sun), dirt is pure because it houses worms (no sense of entitlement infests worms, they simply are and that makes them the only living animals incapable of sinning against God Almighty. There are millions of worms in Heaven). Dirt is pure because it blankets the Earth along with the oceans and seas and does its very best to protect her from the venomous touch of the slimy spitting creatures which walk atop her.

8) A worm spends its life consuming dirt and passing it through its body. It has no thoughts on what it "deserves", no concept of its physical form past fulfilling it's biological drives to keep pushing onward. A worm does not know it's head from it's a*s. It has no concept of vanity, of integrity, of morality. A worm contains none of the sins that infest humans. We should all aspire to be worms. Crawl across the ground and stop thinking so highly of yourself, scum.

9) We established that to kill a human is a good and righteous thing. The best thing, you, as a human, can do is to kill others or kill yourself. The devil laughs when those who oppose abortion claim that God is pro-life. God is a lot of things, but pro-life is not one of them. Pro-Death. Pro-Suffering. Pro-RemovingScumFromTheEarthLikeAJanitorScrapingGumFromADesk. The only creature which this does not apply to is worms, the only creatures which decidedly Do Not Have It Coming. Kill a worm, the devil closes his noose around your neck. Remember- he watches and waits. If God could, he would damn the very sun to Hell for daring to shine upon worms and dry them up into crusty strips of leather on the sidewalk.

10) When you touch yourself at night, Satan watches. To have a pleasurable experience in any act is a reflection of entitlement- you think you deserve to feel anything other than suffering? You don't. He watches when you fail to raise a hand to your child, fail to raise a knife to your throat, and he whispers in your ear: it's only a sin if you liked it. He's not wrong.

11) You think he can't hear the flies buzzing in your carcass? You think he can't smell the rotten meat contained in your ribs and stomach and cranium? He can. Every time you think you saw someone out of the corner of your eye he's there waiting for you to do the Good Deed so he can drag you feet first into the Pit. He wears a black coat and he drags his fingernails across your face while you sleep. You think you know true evil? You haven't seen ANYTHING yet.

12) Humans have such a stringent view on freedom. To be free of the control of a greater outside force is to have achieved true happiness according to the general cultural consensus. We claim to call no man master yet we beg on our knees for God to grant our whims at night as if we are deserving, as if he is even listening. He's not. You think you're free? Kill yourself and find out.

This is the Way, and the Truth, and the Light. Jim Jones had one thing right- the only way to go to Heaven tomorrow is to die today. Amen.