This is brilliant, highly-original writing! When I first started, I felt your writing to be a little too cerebral - that is, more analytical than sensory (a little bit of a deterrent). But as I read on, I found your style to be irresistible, even if you are mostly writing from a mental point of view. It's becuz your way of seeing & analyzing is so unusual & fresh & interesting, I had to let go of my usual expectations. I love it when a poet includes a repetitive aspect to the construction, yet also varying it slightly to great effect (first lines of your stanzas). Thanks for sharing your very unusual way of seeing family relationships! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie
Thank you for your very constructive review !
I wrote it in a way that could express how hig.. read moreThank you for your very constructive review !
I wrote it in a way that could express how highly I see my mother and her children,, I wanted to make it seem more factual than poetic in a way, to add a different poetic aspect,, this aspect is one that could paint a picture of maybe “mothers children” as the reader read on to make them seem less as human, but more divine as defendants of my mother as I see her as an immense gift from God himself.
Again, thank you for the review ((HUGS))
This comment has been deleted by the poster.
5 Years Ago
I'm glad you explained your intention, it really helps me see your poem better!
This is brilliant, highly-original writing! When I first started, I felt your writing to be a little too cerebral - that is, more analytical than sensory (a little bit of a deterrent). But as I read on, I found your style to be irresistible, even if you are mostly writing from a mental point of view. It's becuz your way of seeing & analyzing is so unusual & fresh & interesting, I had to let go of my usual expectations. I love it when a poet includes a repetitive aspect to the construction, yet also varying it slightly to great effect (first lines of your stanzas). Thanks for sharing your very unusual way of seeing family relationships! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie
Thank you for your very constructive review !
I wrote it in a way that could express how hig.. read moreThank you for your very constructive review !
I wrote it in a way that could express how highly I see my mother and her children,, I wanted to make it seem more factual than poetic in a way, to add a different poetic aspect,, this aspect is one that could paint a picture of maybe “mothers children” as the reader read on to make them seem less as human, but more divine as defendants of my mother as I see her as an immense gift from God himself.
Again, thank you for the review ((HUGS))
This comment has been deleted by the poster.
5 Years Ago
I'm glad you explained your intention, it really helps me see your poem better!