Crimson - Scene 1

Crimson - Scene 1

A Chapter by ApKWrites

Liverpool Station, Central London " Rush hour


People push! Everyone’s in a rush. They push to go in, push to get out; people running up and down the stairs....

He gets pushed!


Flashback " Crash!


There was a car crash… The drunk driver did not stop at the red light and there’s blood everywhere and a blonde girl covered in it…He hears a voice..


“Hey, mister!”

He snaps out of it and opens his eyes, looking confused and lost


“Hey, mister! Are you ok?” the kid asks, again. “You blacked out. Are you ok? Do you need any help?”


She looks concerned and there’s a maturity in her voice, too mature for her age. She looks young! She must be in her early twenties, he thinks…


“No, no, I’ll be fine! I just missed the step…I…I’ll be fine, thank you!” He looks shaken up. Those visions have taken a toll on him and they have been getting worse lately. They are more intense…more REAL and he can barely control them anymore. The slightest physical contact could trigger them…anytime….anywhere…CONTACT!


The girl reaches out to help him up and he attempts to pull back but he’s too late and she grabs him before he does…he collapses…


Flashback " ELECTRICITY!


He feels as if he was zapped with thousands of watts…ZzZzZzaAaAaAaPpPp! And the images start floating past…A mother dressed in ripped up clothes…the same woman getting kicked out of a house… the kids sleeping on a cold floor and the mother begging on the street… then the scenery changes….

“FREAKS! GET OUT OF HERE!” a woman shouting and a crowd following with chants “GET OUT!”, “FREAKS! WITCH! LEAVE AND NEVER COME BACK!”, they throw empty bottles, tomatoes and someone throws a rock…it hits the mother!


RAGE!


There’s a loud scream and everything turns bright - a strong headache - people start screaming and when the light fades away there’s only a corpse left on the pavement, burned and fried to ash. That voice again…


“Sir, I think you might need to see a doctor…Sir!”

He opens his eyes and instinctively pushes back, releasing himself from her grasp.


“DON’T! Don’t touch me!” he shouts and she pulls back shocked.


“I…I…I was only trying to…” she whispers, words barely coming out of her mouth


“Thank you, but do not touch me!” he puts his hands down and pushes, trying to get the strength to get up and she looks scared but stepping back to let him get up while people keep rushing in and out of the station…and then she gets the courage to speak…


“I…I’m sorry. I’ll just…”but before she manages to finish what she wants to say he interrupts, realising that he has been quite harsh “It’s fine. Just don’t touch me…Please! I need to go” and he turns around and walks away as fast as he can. The girl tries to go after him but she soon loses him in the crowd and she’s left with his wallet in her hands, which by the looks of it, has some cash inside…


He walks faster and faster every minute as if he’s being chased and does not stop until he gets home, shuts and locks the door behind him and then kneels right behind it. He never thought there might be others out there. Other FREAKS! He never thought that there’s actually the possibility he is not the only freak in the whole world and he starts pacing up and down, his face buried in his hands, murmuring…”This can’t be! No! If there are others…No, it can’t be true…no…what am I going to do..?” and a tear runs down his cheek…


His name is Richard…Richard Baker, but his friends call him Rick…or at least they used to. He remembers how he drove them all away, one by one, friends, colleagues and even family, simply by telling them what was to be and what has been. When he tried to warn them or tell them what he knew and when everything he said started happening…Everyone walked away…First they stopped answering their phones, then pretended not to be home, until Lizzie eventually told him to just stay away and that’s when he started losing all hope and got used to the idea of being alone for the rest of his life, until he one day died alone….but now, there’s hope! There are others out there!


It’s a new day!


As usual, he gets up early in the morning, has a quick shower, gets dressed and walks up to the local coffee shop, grabs a latté and slowly makes his way to the library where he works nowadays. Today, though, is different. He can’t shake the feeling that someone’s following him and on top of that, he cannot get that girl out of his mind…The fact that she could be just like him, special! All that power…and fear…


“I shouldn’t have run” he thinks “What if she knows what is happening to me; if she knows how to stop it? I could be normal, again!” and his heart is suddenly filled with hope and that makes his day.


He looks at his watch. It’s 5pm and he stands in the middle of Liverpool Street Station, staring at the crowd, trying to spot the girl. The next time he checks his watch is 6pm, but still nothing…6:15pm…6:30pm….7:00pm and his hope, eventually, fades away just like time does. He puts his head down and slowly walks away.


That feeling is still present " someone is following and it sends shivers down his spine and he turns around a couple of times to check who’s behind him but there’s no one, just an empty silent alleyway. The walk home seems a lot longer today, more turns than usual until he, finally, reaches the corner of the street he lives on. He walks down the road towards his house before he notices a shadow. Someone’s sitting on the porch of his Victorian house and he instantly recognizes the short blond hair and boyish clothes. His heart races like never before and his pace suddenly becomes faster and faster, he’s almost running towards her, scared that she might turn around and walk away.


She puts her head up and sees him rushing towards her and even though she panics for a second, worrying he might think her a thief, she stands up and puts her hand out holding his wallet. “I didn’t take anything. I promise it’s all there.”


He stops, takes a deep breath and he smiles. “I didn’t think you would.” He takes his wallet and his face instantly softens, all the stress gone. He puts his hand in his pocket and takes his keys out, approaches and opens the door. He turns around, the girl still standing at the bottom of the stairs looking at him. “Would you like to come in? I’ve got tea. It’s the least I can do for returning my wallet”...



© 2015 ApKWrites


Author's Note

ApKWrites
This is a story I kept working in my head for years and finally decided to put it on paper. It's supposed to be written in short "scenes" which will complete in "chapters" and when those chapters are put together will eventually form a full story. It's o experimental stage and this is just a draft of the first scene....

My Review

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Featured Review

Tense in moments, wanting more detail because I've never been to Liverpool station. I would have loved picturing it without having to now look it up on the internet! lol. I think the powers thing is something I had a question on, is he a reader? When he touches people does he read their memories or is it they who trigger his memories, flashbacks, or the like? It read as though if anyone touches him it sets off this power am I reading that right|?
Anyway, cool concept

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ApKWrites

9 Years Ago

You were right, anyone who touches him triggers his power and that becomes more clear in a following.. read more
Joshua Carl Cruz

9 Years Ago

I love feeling the background come to life. Anne Rice is a little much but texture is always good, y.. read more



Reviews

So far I'm very intrigued by the story you have written... this chapter definitely hooks the reader into desiring to learn more about what's going on with the main protagonist. I need to keep reading now....

Posted 5 Years Ago


Very well written and draws in the reader. Valentine

Posted 9 Years Ago


ApKWrites

9 Years Ago

Thank you very much;)
It's a really interesting story, I am intrigued by it.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ApKWrites

9 Years Ago

Thank you;)
Wow, your story left me breathless! The flashbacks create a wonderfully tense, jittery atmosphere that pulled me right into the action and the protagonist's mind.

Since this is a draft I won't dwell too long on editing nitpicks, a few minor issues I'd like to point out though.

The 'electricity'/'rage' flashback confused me a bit. Did the girl cause the death? Who was the corpse? I suspect it was one of the attackers but I'm not sure. If I am correct I wonder why she killed just one and not all of them. What did the other attackers do, watch impassively? I know it's just a brief glimpse into the past but to me it seems a bit odd that you are talking about a crowd and then there is a single, unspecified corpse.

Furthermore I think the 'electricity' flashback would profit from more vivid imagery. I'm sure you know the old rule: 'show, don't tell' and this is even more important since we are diving into a person's memories. Perhaps instead of telling the audience about "...a poor family as poor as one can be..." and "A single mother struggling to raise her children" you could show us their struggle. I think a brief image, a quick flash of a scene that allows the reader to experience their hardships would make this segment all the more powerful.

But please don't let my quibbles distract from the fact that your story gripped me right from the start and I definitely look forward to learning more about these characters!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ApKWrites

9 Years Ago

Thank you! It felt like something was not right but I couldn't point it out and you are right on all.. read more
Kaliope

9 Years Ago

Glad I could help! Feel free to contact me in case you want me to review the edited version, I would.. read more
Tense in moments, wanting more detail because I've never been to Liverpool station. I would have loved picturing it without having to now look it up on the internet! lol. I think the powers thing is something I had a question on, is he a reader? When he touches people does he read their memories or is it they who trigger his memories, flashbacks, or the like? It read as though if anyone touches him it sets off this power am I reading that right|?
Anyway, cool concept

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ApKWrites

9 Years Ago

You were right, anyone who touches him triggers his power and that becomes more clear in a following.. read more
Joshua Carl Cruz

9 Years Ago

I love feeling the background come to life. Anne Rice is a little much but texture is always good, y.. read more

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Added on July 18, 2015
Last Updated on August 15, 2015
Tags: #Crimson


Author

ApKWrites
ApKWrites

London, United Kingdom



About
Stories popped in my mind since I was a child. Sometimes short, brief passages, sometimes just ideas of an event and some other times a full length scenario, so I started noting them down bit by bit... more..

Writing

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