Fallen Mortality

A work in progress

 

I reclined back at my desk, thinking about what to do. It was night. Night was my time. I thirst, and I was bored. I decided I'd wander.

 

Night is Time for the supernatural beings to reveal themselves. Night is not a place for mere mortals to wander alone. I myself wasn't very big, only a mere 16 years of mortal age. I had a slim look to my body, yet a predator's gaze played on my eyes. Though I was slim, it commonly led to people underestimating me. It didn't help them that I usually wore baggy clothes, I liked deceiving people in this way. It made it so they thought less of my physique and more on my mind. My mind is my best weapon, my best defense.

 

******* ******* ******* ******* *******

 

As I wandered I thought about many things. The main being what my next meal should be. I knew what I wanted, but finding it was.... Tricky. It wasn't that finding my meals was.... hard, but I liked a challenge. I liked the hunt. It didn't help that I hadn't fed well in.... a few months. I had been aware of the nag at the back of my mind and my throat. That warning was all that was keeping me from feeding whenever the opportunity arose, it arose often. Yet, there was another reason I staved off feeding.... My love. Nastassja by birth, Selene by her own choosing. We have been together for awhile now, not a long time, 2 months perhaps. But, I was irrevocably in love with her. She knew what I was, of course. I don't try to hide what I am, unlike the rest of my kind.

 

My kind is, by nature, overly cautious. It has been that way for as long as any of us could remember. Our fear of the mortals comes not from what they are, as we could kill many of them single-handedly, but the sheer number of them. As such most of my kind, and most other dwellers of the night, tended to avoid mortal contact. Though.... I was not apart of the majority. I liked keeping my mortal side alive within me. Thus I was shunned upon by most any Being, the main exception being Mortals. They tended to enjoy my company. And I likewise returned the enjoyment. I was pleased to see that I blended well with Mortals. Among my kind I was feared, yet most couldn't fathom as to where the fear arose from.

 

The likely scenario would be what happened a few months ago. When i was, and still finding out the many abilities I had gained. Among them speed, grace, strength, and Silence. Just after I had found my new abilities, I was attacked. They stood just inside the tree line, barely visible, but one the trio had fed recently. It made them easier to sense. I had been practicing with my favorite sword.... My Katana. My Katana was mostly normal.... to me. It had a black blade and a traditional handle, but of course, colored red and black. I'd been practicing for a few hours now, testing my Katana alongside my newly gotten abilities. As they had approached me, I'd sensed them watching me.

 

******* ******* ******* ******* *******

 

From what I could tell they'd been out hunting, they would be in the mood to kill. I was an easy target to them, having just been turned. Two of them, silently and swiftly, disappeared only to reappear on opposite sides of me, effectively trapping me within their triangle. The one that had stayed at my front, I thought this was the leader.... it was later proven, began walking forward. The other two did likewise, slowly enclosing what space I had within the continually smaller triangle. The leader slowed to a stop, perhaps 2-3 yards away. The others did likewise. We stood in Silence for a minute or two. Finally the leader spoke, in a low harsh tone, with bloodlust nipping along its wake.

 

"Who are you?" his voice sounded constrained, forcibly controlled perhaps."I am recently turned," I spoke in a quiet but deadly confident toneA look of pleasant curiosity crossed his eyes, and I continued."My name is Anthony.""Really? How long ago?" He was trying to find weaknesses."A week, maybe more." He looked pleased with my answer...."Maybe you'd like to join our humble group?" He asked gesturing to the others."I don't think you'd enjoy my company." I replied with a grin."And why would that be?" His eyes flaring with his obvious rage."I don't live the way you do." I replied in a cool manner.He was losing his control, his eyes giving away his rage, yet hinted at his curiosity."Then how do you live?" He's losing his cool, my next reply maybe...."I prefer to live amongst Mortals, and I don't like too hunt." I said, the last part being a lie. He had lost it, yet his posture remained the same."WHY?" He screamed, nearly losing his posture"Because I like to keep my mortal side alive." I replied, waiting for the inevitable.

 

He decided that it was time to kill me. He acted quickly enough the others just stared, yet slower than my reflexes. I drew my Katana, having sheathed it when I sensed them coming. I surprised everyone, including myself, when I quickly decapitated the attacking vampyre. The other two quickly joined in, hoping they had an advantage in numbers. They attacked in the same instant from opposite sides, the one on my right was quickly killed, cut in half to be exact, the one on my left was quietly beheaded. After the battle, which lasted maybe three minutes at the most, I stood Katana at hand with three corpses at my feet. I decided it was time to leave.

 

******* ******* ******* ******* *******

 

That had been the first fight of my life. I still wonder why the fight went so well for me. It may have been natural talent, or more likely all the sparring I had done with my brother. I had wandered a ways into town during my thinking. I had to feed soon, as I could feel the urge gaining more power over me. I hated killing so I could stay sane, but I fed only as often as I absolutely had to in order to keep control of myself. I had lost control only once, when I was still new. It had ended with about a dozen people dead. I'd rather not tell any more on that, as it still burns as my largest regret. It happened only because I chose not to feed at all… I still regret what I did. That incident is why I feed. I feed only so I don't lose control.

 

As I walked past a side street, I could hear a struggle. I sensed a fourth presence, but didn't hear a heartbeat. That meant that they were dead… or undead. I stopped and looked around trying to find the group. I spotted a row of 3 people walking quickly. They obviously didn't want to stick around, I could see why. Through the line I could see a girl, perhaps 15-16 years old, she walked stiffly ahead of them. She was the panicking heartbeat. The two that were suffering from adrenaline rushes were on the sides. The fourth being was in the center, directly behind the girl. It walked comfortably, while the other two walked briskly in bodyguard stances. I went to follow them, trailing at a safe distance. I slowly brought up walls around my mind. I didn't know what the being was, nor did I know if it could sense my presence. If it could, I hoped it hadn't sensed that someone had vanished within a matter of seconds.

 

I followed them until they went into an abandoned building. I waited outside for a minute, letting them get settled. They wouldn't kill her… yet, that is. I entered the building through a broken window, not wanting to risk any noise. The window I had passed through had long ago lost all of its glass and its frame was gone. All it was now was a hole in the wall. I got in without a sound. They were on the other side of the building. I walked quickly, making a mental map as I did. The room I had just come from was small and its door missing. I noticed that almost none of the rooms had doors. The few that did were either closed or broken. I found them in a large store room in a corner of the building. The room had a door, great. I checked it, it was locked. Even better. I sighed, I guess this wouldn't be a quiet entrance. There was a window in the door, the glass missing. I could hear them talking, but couldn't make out what they said. I guess it's time to join the party. I drew my Katana, I always carried it with me, no matter where I went. I placed the tip against the seam, which was supposed to stop people from breaking in, and placed a firm grip on the butt of the Katana. I gave it a firm push. It went through between wall and seam. I now pushed gently, unlatching the door. It swung open quietly, though I grabbed the handle so it wouldn't hit the wall and make a sound. I withdrew my Katana, silently replacing it in its hiding place. I went in, and walked to the edge of a row of shelves. I looked around the corner. It appeared that, other than this single row of shelves, the room had been cleared. There were no windows, and almost nothing in the room. There was a sofa along one wall, and a couple beds on the other. The girl was bound and sitting on the sofa. There was another girl bound and sitting next to her. The three that had brought the girl were standing by the beds. The Mortal pair stood listening to the other being. They were talking in hushed tones, so I only caught bits of the conversation.

 

"…girl." one of the Mortals said."We should…" the other said.The being spoke low enough that I didn't hear what else was said.

 

I chose this time to make my entrance. I quietly rounded the corner. The girls noticed me first, and looked at me with pleading eyes.I'd seen both of them before, but only in passing. I winked at them. Then I spoke, letting hate and rage fill my voice."Why do you have two captives?" This startled the three."Why does it matter to you?" The being asked in a snakish curiosity."I happen to hate criminals." I stated."We are no more criminals than you are, Vampyre." She stated, not bothering to hide her malice toward what I was."How did you know what I am?" I replied with a cold glare, she had surprised me."Many ways." She stated in a cryptic manner."I won't play games with you," I said, cold rage audible, "What are you?""I am what you fear most." She replied, smirking as she spoke."You might know what my kind fears, but I am not like the rest of my kind." I said this with a cold glare, smirking while I said the last half."How aren't you like your kind?" She asked."First, I am not afraid of you, Werewolf." As I said this I drew my Katana, pointing the tip at the Werewolf's throat."Why do you wish to challenge me?" She stated in a cold manner."I don't wish for Mortals to be captives." I stated."I will not give them up easily." As she said this she gestured to her Mortal Pair.

 

The Mortal pair started moving towards me, slowly at first, working up speed. They are not built like average Mortal men. These two were too muscular for their size, making them seem clumsy, yet they moved with trained precision. I sheathed my Katana, I felt like playing. They moved to flank me, leaving their leader in front. I remembered this exact thing happened to me before... Only then... I had no choice. Now i fight for the lives of two Human girls. While most would have ignored these three, some would have joined them in their torturous ways. I was not like most, I was unique. The pair, now on opposite sides of me, nodded at each other. Then glanced at their leader, she nodded. They began circling me, trying to make me lose focus. They tried quick hits and feints. One hit me hard when i glanced to make sure the girls were ok. Why am I doing this? I asked myself. I faltered. One of the pair restrained my arms pinning me to the ground. The other walked around us, kicking me at random intervals. He stopped, bent down, and took my Katana, Sheath and all. He unsheathed it and, tossing the sheath aside, started testing it. My eyes turned hard at this. I was pinned to the ground and an imbecile was touching my Katana. He placed a reversed grip on it, readying himself for a killing blow. As he raised it above his head, he smirked as his leader giggled. She was beautiful in her human form. She had long blond hair, cute face, and perfect curves. She had an athletic form. She looked like she was slightly younger than me, maybe 14. Yet she had power over the two that followed her.

 

He brought the blade down, laughing gazes following it along its path. Just as it nicked my clothes, something happened that none of us expected. The Mortal took a sharp breath as he was knocked off balance. My Katana cut through cloth and flesh. Then the one one that had me pinned lost his hold as he was knocked off me. One of the girls landing on top of him, fear and determination in her eyes. I got up quickly and looked at my savior. It was the girl they had when I followed them. She had long red hair, a nice face, and to be about 5 feet tall. Yet she had knocked the underling off balance and saved my life in the process. She had pure determination in her eyes. I retrieved my Katana by kicking the underling to the ground and snapping his neck. As I did so I told the girls to get out of the way. The second underling had started getting up. I made my way over quickly, & decapitated him while he was on one knee.

 

The leader had a horrified look of surprise and anger. She had just witnessed her captive humans help kill her Mortal pair. Her skin bubbled slightly, bones creaked, ligaments and tendons popped. Oh... S**t. I ran over to where the two girls were. I cut the ropes binding their arms, and helped remove their gags.

 

"You two need to go hide." I said in a hurry, shaking as I did.I sensed them move to another room in the building, close to where I had came in. All while listening to this werewolf change.I held my Katana firmly, I would need its comforting presence. I turned to look at the werewolf. She has almost fully changed... time for a plan.

 

I turned and ran behind the shelves, crouching and watching. She had finally changed fully... twas time to fight. As she looked around the room, searching for me. I tapped the ground with the tip of my Katana. Just as I wanted, she looked at where the noise originated, and started towards it. I backed up slightly, as a plan formed in my mind. I quickly moved boxes around on the bottom shelf, and climbed in replacing the boxes to hide me. This would hide me for only a minimal time, but would allow me a chance to kill her. I heard her round the corner and walk slowly toward the door. As she started to pass me, I attacked. The Katana swung and hit, but didn't kill her. She had jumped slightly aside when I attacked. She had a gash on the side of her chest. I lashed out again, cutting her back and left arm. She turned towards me and swiftly hit me... hard enough to send me flying into the wall. I was rattled and in pain. The gash in my gut, and the cuts on my side resounding in pain. I opened my eyes to see the werewolf coming toward me. My Katana lay just within my grasp. I looked at the werewolf, willing false terror to fill my eyes. She kept coming, she had determination in her eyes.

 

She now hovered over me, an arm pulled back to register the final blow. As she swung, I achingly grabbed my Katana and swung. I connected with her torso giving a nearly fatal blow. She stammered backwards, her wounds finally taking their toll on her body. As she regained her footing slightly, she growled a pained growl. She looked at me with hate-filled eyes and then turned toward the door. She ran out of the room, ripping the door off its hinges. A few seconds later I heard a pained howl some miles away as I fought against the blanket of darkness in my mind. I didn't want to give in, but as the darkness covered me the pain numbed. I slowly succumbed to the darkness, letting it numb me.

 

I hear crying. All I can see is darkness. Who is crying? I say "Hello?", but only a small groan leaves me. I hear the crying stop for a moment. I will myself to move, and get a sharp pain rippling through my body in response. I groan again, slightly louder this time. I heard muffled gasps. Now I hear footsteps. "Are you alive?" someone asks while nudging my shoulder. That gentle motion still sent streaks of pain through me. I groaned, hearing happy, yet worried, gasps and whispers. I tried to open my eyes and they fluttered in response. More excited whispers. I slowly and grudgingly tested each part of my body in turn. Each test painfully awakening me. I tested my again, they fluttered open.

 

Dots of light played before my eyes, yet as my vision cleared I saw two figures before me. One was a red-head the other a blond. They struck me as familiar. Then the details of what had just occurred rushed back to me as I recognized the girls before me. They are my saviors. I turned my head slightly to the left. I was rewarded with a burst of pain and the sight of two dead men. One was crumpled limply and the other lay in a pool of blood. I grudgingly sat up, rewarded with more pain. The girls came over and helped me up. I re-sheathed my Katana, now more alert as my senses returned to me. I look around, everything has been trashed because of the fight. Boxes and papers are strewn everywhere. My saviors stand by me, looking at me with worried glances. I gazed into each pair of eyes in turn giving them thank-filled glances. My mind now wanders to the past, and I wonder which memory it is now.

 

******* ******* ******* ******* *******

 

A boy walks along a darkened road. Each house faintly lit. All of them facing a cornfield. All of them gloomy on this night. The moon is near full and it's pale light illuminates this gloomy place. The road seems longer as his heart sped up. He was about to reach the park when he heard a faint growl. He turned to where the sound had come from. Moonlight lit all of his features. His brown eyes. Shaggy brown hair. Baggy clothes. But most of all, the scared curiosity in his eyes. He looked into the eyes of an unknown creature. It stared back with its hungry gaze, when there was another growl from behind the boy. The hungry gaze glanced behind the boy and growled with what seemed like laughter.

 

The boy took off running. Flora rustled behind him as he heard another growl. He heard a faint thump, then a pained howl. He slightly glanced back as he rounded a corner. What he saw made him stop running. He saw what seemed to be a human wrestling with... He blinked. It couldn't be. There's no way it could be. They're only myth! ....But it was. It was a werewolf. The boy took off again. A loud snapping sound resounded behind him. Something was chasing him. Just as he reached the next turn he was hit by what seemed like a train. He was knocked into the grass growing beside the road. He opened his eyes to see the werewolf standing over him. He raised his arms defensively as the creature bent down. The creature held his arms to his stomach. The boy kicked with all he had in him. The werewolf was knocked back, but only slightly. The werewolf pinned him and bent down. Just as it had begun to bite the boys shoulder it was ripped off and tossed aside. The boy took no time as he got up and ran, blood streaming from the wound. His clothes had become tattered and bloody. He glanced back as he rounded the final corner and saw the two creatures wrestling. Just as he opened his door to go inside he heard a sickening snap. He closed and locked the doors and windows. He ran upstairs and grabbed his Katana just as he noticed... he wasn't alone.

 

He could feel a slight breeze. He looked over at his window, only to see it was open. The screen had been removed... He slowly looked around his room... nothing. He looked on his bed... and saw a silhouette facing him. His hands trembling, he reached for his Katana's handle."I wouldn't try it." The silhouette spoke in a calm,albeit firm manner.The boy seemed curious, but was terrified to speak."I think you know what I am, and if not, I'm going to tell you..." The silhouette spoke in the same calm tone.

 

"My name is Rachelle." She spoke soft. "Now I must decide what to do with you. For even though the sun won't kill me, I must not be caught with you." The boy just sat there, still trying to figure out what he should do. She looked at him curiously as dawn approached them.“Have you decided on what you’ve been thinking?” She spoke with a smirk.“For I’ve been with you for most of the night, and haven’t been able to satisfy the thirst. You know of me now. I will return to see you again…” As she spoke the last words, she left.

 

The boy still sat there wondering what he should do. When she left he jumped up and looked around. He checked everywhere, to make sure she was gone. Once he was sure she was, he sunk back into his chair. He sighed and began to contemplate what he was going to do when she returned. He was sure he was going to be turned, but he was deciding whether or not he should fight it. He could try to run, but where would he run? And how long until she found him? He wasn’t afraid of her. He was just afraid of what he’d become.For the rest of the day he thought of her. He cleaned and dressed his wounds. He bathed and groomed himself. He sharpened and cleaned his Katana. Then, he waited until nightfall.As night approached he grew tenser and more nervous. He didn’t so much mind what he would become. He worried about if and how his mind would change. Would he completely lose his humanity? Or if not, what would he lose?“Stop thinking of these things, you’ll be fine.” He thought to himself. “She seems nice enough, maybe she’ll help.”“I don’t think she’d change us, then just leave us.”

 

The boy fell asleep as the night sky fell. He slept heavily throughout the night. Rachelle came as he was sleeping. She sat and watched him like that, night after night. Never once did she let him know she was there, watching over him. Every day he woke up and did the same routine, waiting for her return.

After a week had past, she still hadn’t revealed herself. He began watching everywhere he went, looking for some sign of her presence. While he didn’t find any signs of her, she found signs of him being watched. She began following him and looking for those who were keeping an eye on her human.

A week before the full moon she caught sight of them. They were following him wherever he went. She located three beings that were doing this. One kept him in sight at all times. Another kept an eye out for anyone who might have an interest in him. And the third would disappear from time to time. After a few hours of her watching them, she decided to follow the third being to what it was doing.

It led her along a complex route through a city. From one alley to going through homes, along busy streets and through crowded shops. The being then led her through the countryside. They passed over hills, through valleys, over rivers, and around lakes. He finally led her to a clearing in a dense forest. They had traveled far, and she had to run to keep up with his speed.

As she arrived along the edge of the clearing, she stopped. Her eyes became wide and she fought to breath. She couldn’t believe what she was seeing. The Werewolf she had killed awhile ago was lain out on a table. Surrounding is was a pack of about 25 Werewolves. The Being she had been following walked up to the table and stood there for a few moments. He then walked up to one of the groups and kneeled.
The group he kneeled by nodded and he stood. He began speaking and the group gathered around closer. Rachelle moved as close as she dared and listened to what he said.

“We’ve kept a close eye on him as you requested. He seems too preoccupied to notice our presence. He probably is still in shock from that night.”

“Good, what of his progress?” One of the group quietly asked.

“He shows almost no progress. I think he might not turn in time.”

“He better start soon, or it may be too late. If that happens, we’ll have a power struggle on our hands.”

“I know. We must not let it come to that.”

“You know what must be done. Go back to your duties, I’ll prepare for what’s to come.”

“I’ll let the others know.” After he spoke, he kneeled and took off back to his watch.

Before Rachelle could fully comprehend what she had just heard, she was running. She knew she had to hurry, or she might be too late. As she ran, she thought about what she had heard. She thought of what she had to do. On one hand she had to get back to her human, and on the other she had to tell her bloodline of the gathered Werewolves. Both had time as her foe. She decided to go grab her human that night.

The boy was wary from being out all day. Rachelle wasn’t on his mind so much. It had been about two weeks since that night. He grudgingly drug his tired body to his room. As he opened his door he nearly fainted. He gathered himself and walked into his room. She was laying on his bed, eyes closed, resting. He went over and sat on the edge of the bed. She opened her eyes and sat up, motioning for him to sit next to her.

“Morning, Sleeping Beauty.” He said teasingly, it earned him a smile.

“I wasn’t sleeping,” She said with a grin “ I was waiting for you.”

“Well, that’s a bit obvious.”

“We need to talk.” She got a little more serious as she said this.

“What do we need to talk about?” He said nervously.

“To be blunt, Your Life.” He swallowed hard.

“What about it?”

“For starters, it’s in danger.” He couldn’t help but smirk.

“Well isn’t that a bit obvious.”

“Not from me, you nitwit.” She said snappily “You remember what 

happened the night we met?”

“Yea… why?” He asked.

“You remember what I saved you from?”

“Yea…”

“You’re being followed by some of its family…” He tensed up.

“I came to take you to my haven.”

“You’re haven?”

“It’s a safe place where my bloodline go to rest.”

“Do I have a choice?”

“In whether or not I’m taking you?” She said rhetorically “No.”

He had just enough time to grab his Katana as she grabbed him. As they left the chase began. For outside a pack of Werewolves had been waiting. She just kept running, and the boy unsheathed his Katana. He kept the wolves at bay while she carried him. She ducked through homes and alleyways, but to no avail. The pack just kept hounding them.

“We can’t lead them back to the haven.” She hurriedly said.

“I know, but what are our choices?” He stated, knowing what she might say.

“We have to fight.”

“We need to find a better spot, or we’ll be puppy chow. Even though You’re a Vamp, they outnumber us.”

“Let’s find a decent base…”

They kept running, going through fields and towns. The wolves nipping at their heels. The boy slashed at them, just barely keeping them at bay. Rachelle saw a cave and bolted for it. As they ran further into it, light filtered down on them. She ran until the hit a dead-end. It was a narrow passageway, just tall enough to allow them to stand. They faced their pursuers and fell into fighting stances. Their opponents were seven Werewolves, each having a different color coat. Majority of them were dark shades of brown, but a couple were lightly colored. She looked at him with a burning gaze.

“We fight for our lives, if you want a choice in yours… prove it.” She challenged.

 

The Werewolves began closing in as they took defensive stances. A couple of the darker colored wolves moved in front of their group, and their fur bristled as the adrenaline set in. The wolves lunged at them knocking the boy down, as Rachelle fought off the other. The Werewolf on top of the boy hardly moved, not attacking as it should have been. A pool of blood slowly formed around the body, and muffled breathes could hardly be heard. The remaining wolves closed more distance, almost stopping on top of the fight. One of the darker Werewolves pulled the downed wolf off of the boy, only to see that the boy had impaled the wolf. The hilt of the Katana protruded from the wolf's corpse.

 

Rachelle fought viciously to gain ground to get near the boy. The wolf was putting up a fight, not allowing her to land more than glancing blows. She watched as on of the remaining wolves removed it's dead pack-mate from on top of the boy, revealing the fragile and winded human. She lunged at the wolf she was fighting, knocking it off balance, and punched it in the throat. She then jumped in between the boy and the remaining wolves. As she did so, a smaller wolf came running blindly into the fight.

 

The smaller wolf appeared to be running for it's life, and it ran full-force into one of the lighter-colored Werewolves, knocking it down. The smaller wolf then tumbled to a stop next to Rachelle. Rachelle looked down at the wolf and looked down the tunnel. She blinked. There were lights coming towards them. She quickly assessed the situation, looking from the small wolf, to the boy, to the Werewolves, and back to the lights.

 

Rachelle ordered the boy back behind her, and lightly tossed the dazed wolf back behind her as well. Damn mutt. Oh well, at least it provided a distraction. But what or who was chasing it? The lights became brighter, and the Werewolves picked up the scent, and growled, majority of them turning towards the new threat.

 

Yelling and Grunting are coming from the direction of the lights, getting louder.

“Where'd that damn mutt go! Woulda fetched a good price!” Growled a deep, annoyed, and angry human voice.

“Dunno, went down this tunnel,” Hearing the commotion from the fight. 

“Sounds like the mutt ran into somethin'.”

A group of rough-looking men holding torches came to the edge of the fight.

“Hmpf! Lookie here, we have some more profits to nab!” A ragged-man with a deep voice said, brandishing a net and club.

 

The rest of the group brandished various clubbing weapons, some with what appeared to be guns, others with nets. They set themselves in a gaggle and proceeded toward the Werewolves, approaching unhindered by the large appearance of the wolves, or the growls and glares emanating from them. Or even of the apparent battle scene.

 

“Git 'em boys.” The ragged-man with a deep voice commanded, as the group ran towards the Werewolves swinging their weapons and throwing their nets.

 

As commanded, the group charged at the Werewolves without hesitation. There were a couple dozen men that charged at the Wolves. Their leader, the ragged man with a deep voice, hung back. He held a torch in one hand, and a large club in the other. He yelled directions to his men. As they charged, they threw the nets. The Wolves howled and charged at the men. The nets descended and the Wolves slashed at them. One Wolf was tangled up in the remains of several nets. The other Wolves kept charging, meeting claws and teeth, to flesh and bone.

 

There were about three men to each Wolf, yet the Wolves fought viciously. The men would only get a couple swings of their clubs before being slashed at in return. A couple of the men jumped onto the backs of the Wolves they were fighting. The men bashed theirs clubs against the Wolves' skulls, while the Wolves tore at the men on their backs. The unhindered Wolves lunged at the men, tearing out their throats with fangs and tearing them apart with claws.

 

Rachelle watched with wide eyes. Who the hell are these people, and what the hell is happening? As she watched the chaos in front of her, she heard the sound of ripping flesh to her side. She jumped to face the sound.

 

She saw the boy standing next to the downed Werewolf, with his Katana in hand. He turned to face her, and now she saw the blood. He was covered in blood, his clothes were soaked crimson. His Katana was in hand, the tip of the blade only inches above a puddle of blood. She jumped as he spoke.

 

"Rachelle," He spoke gently, " I think we should go."

 

The boy walked over to the dazed, little wolf. He laid his Katana next to it. As he went to touch the wolf, Its fur bristled, then calmed.

Author's Note

Let me know of errors, I just updated this again.

Reviews

[Greg Stitz]

Wow. I'm not usre words can explain this but I'll try. I think this is a great piece of literature. Your story draws readers in from the begining and keeps them captivated. I love the cliffhanger at the end, which makes me wonder if there is going to be a next part which I will gladly read. I don't see any grammer problems. Other than that good work.

[Aussie]

Dannng... Bravo!

[Anthony]

Thank you All for reviewing. If you could go read through the chapterized version and help me with ideas on making each existing one better =)

[Jasmarine]

YAY! ive finally finished it since 2 months ago :S very nicely done sir, i tip my hat to you! but...i think when youre doing these scenes you should also have another internet link to Thesaurus.com and type in the simple word you have i.e- you used growl twice in the same sentence. and then use one of the ones listed so youre not repeating yourself.

srry this took so long but youre doing well

cheers :)

[Jemma]

It wasn't really easy to follow. I blame it more on the font u used again. Also when you changed charter. The flashbacks to earlier memories was good. It was a lot more descriptive then your other story and had a lot more to the plot. With that been said it was a good read.
Good write

[Stephanie]

This is a really great story. It has a good plot so far and it seems like it's gonna be pretty epic :D
I did see a lot of short choppy sentences though. You should go through and combine some of your sentences to eliminate repetition and a lag in the story. The fight scene in the beginning was pretty awesome, not gonna lie, haha.
It was cool how you flashed back to earlier memories after he got up from the fight, but you might want to stick with the first person view that you had in the start. It gets a little confusing at times.

All small things considered, you have a really good story here. Awesome job :]

[Jasmarine]

i've only rad a bit because my stomach is grumbling and requires my attention a.s.ap. so far it seems to be good.....except i think you should have described what a 'katana' [srry if i speleld it wrong] is, i'd have to look it up on google to find out what it is. and when you say traditional you should say how it is traditional

otherwise so far so good!

[Caitlin]

this is great!!! i don't think there is anything i can add