A silent whimper

just random thoughts

Whisking in this closet,

Away from the crowded world,

In the dusk of dreaded dreams,

My soul yells, it screams,

When I look in the mirror,

I see a giant taking his last breaths,

Waiting to be set free from the chains of sordidness,

Fighting with the debris of dreams left behind,

Tired of building a new castle to survive,

Destroyed, depleted, shattered,

Surviving is nothing more than a miracle,

The wind that I thought would give a new meaning,

Turned out to be nothing but a poisonous air,

It is killing me every second,

With each passing breath as I loose control,

I see the life getting over,

It was promising once,

But now its dying with a silent whimper.

Author's Note

criticism welcomed

Reviews

[jesserose99]

this has great depth, what you see in the mirror is very interesting to me. a giant building his castle. I see life as something of a struggle that goes more and more every day. you being out of place in a land with not enough air for your size. I love the analogy. anyway, nice write!!

[CA Anurag Sharma]

Thank you so much for the kind words....the beauty of life is that it is uncertain.. how often we feel out of place and suddenly it changes....

[Ruth]

This holds such a myriad of emotions, superb...reflectively haunting :)

[CA Anurag Sharma]

thank you so much M'am :)

[Shivalik Kalsotra]

Wonderful write with such a depth in words...gr8 work...I really enjoyed reading it

[CA Anurag Sharma]

Thank you so much Shivalik for your kind words :) Will read your work too, soon...thanks

[Riddhi]

This is really a very nice poem which has a deep meaning...I really admire your thinking and the way you are expressing your thoughts in a poem..Great work...Keep it up.. and thanks for sharing..

[CA Anurag Sharma]

Thank you so much Riddhi for the kind words :)

[Solar]

A feeling of being trapped and cheated by Time comes across in this poem, which has strength and is therefore not a whimper.

[CA Anurag Sharma]

Thank you so much for the kind words :)

[Solar]

You are welcome.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Intense and dark...

Life takes us to and fro from safety to perils... And the times of that darkness inspires and brings something unique and fierce out of us.

An amazingly penned piece, emotive and vivid!

[CA Anurag Sharma]

Thank you so much Miss Jyoti....yah you said it right "the times of that darkness inspires and brings something unique and fierce out of us"....thank you so much :)

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

You are welcome.

[Neha Sharma]

This is beautiful, eloquent, and profound. It has robust imagery. Beautifully written. :)

[CA Anurag Sharma]

Thank you so much for the kind words :)

[hardeep sabharwal]

very nicely written and expressed,

[CA Anurag Sharma]

Thank you so much Sir :)

[Emily]

Love it!
Great poem!
Keep it up!

[CA Anurag Sharma]

Thank you so much :)

[Avinash]

May be the death is the new beginning. A caterpillar will never know, you should ask the butterfly.

[CA Anurag Sharma]

Rightly said Avinash.. thanks for your kind review :)

[Arshia]

I liked the strong emotions which you put across so aptly in this poem..a strong piece of writing! :)

[CA Anurag Sharma]

Thank you so much for your kind review Arshia ..good to hear from fellow chandigarhian after so long...hope everything is going well... :)

[Arshia]

You are most welcome. Yup everything's good :)