18

18
I take 18 drags off my last broken cigarette
i made 18 dollars in tips and still no check
18 bats fly around my head
iv been up for 18 hours, why cant i go to bed
18 shots of whiskey and s**t still aint better
im cold like 18 degrees and my heart aint got a sweater
18 years i lived under a reign of criticism and abuse
and all i had to look foward to was a new excuse
for the bruise on my sore back from a belt loop
18 years i wached my mother stay strong under what she knew was wrong
but she didnt complain
because divorce and b*****d children wasnt the name of her game
i remember hearing screams and crys
and then walking into the kitchen
to see my mother sitting there
rocking in her rocking chair
wiping blood from her scraps
and tears from my baby brothers eyes
but my mother didnt cry
i guess everything was alright
because her kids were alright
yea alright
alright to have nightmares for another night
and when we went to school in the morning
our teachers knew we were lying
about out dry red eyes
from were we didnt sleep
but infact
from were we fell asleep crying
18 years i felt like dying
18
18 years i lived with the man who was my opposite
but still part of me
so pardon me
cause on that 18th year
i put my past and dreams behind me when i packed my s**t and left
yea i died
i put the old me to rest
and i havent looked back at those 18 years
since i hightailed it out in 18th gear
i was nervous
but with no fears
the law says your an adult when you hit 18
i became an adult when i stoped having dreams
on that 18th day that it took me to leave my past behind
i was only 18
18