Lonely

Standing in a crowd, 
yet you feel alone. 
Sitting in an empty room,
yet you feel alone. 

This pain in my chest, 
At night is when I feel the most. 
Maybe it's an episode
Maybe it's because I received a message, 
a message that took me back when.
Maybe it's both. 

I am buried in broken dreams.

The other side of those dreams,
Possess a chilling tone
The unknown, once welcoming...
Dreaded now. 

You're standing in a crowd, yet, 
You still feel alone. 
You're sitting in an empty room,
Feeling all alone. 

We are buried in broken dreams. 
is there a way out? 
Will I ever find the way out, 
Out of this bleakness. 

I will find a way out. 

Reviews

[Betty Hermelee]

Will you ever find a way out of your doldrums??? this is a very sad piece, feeling trapped in your own body...loneliness is a mood, a state of mind that can last for a long time, unless one can find even one friend....someone to share with, speak with, console with.... it's quite important...I like the repitition os your words, it makes the piece stronger and more believable....NICE!
Warmly, B

[Hallow]

Beautiful work. I love that the main focus is loneliness itself. How it really does seem to consume every part of you. The hopeful note at the end was pleasant. A light in the dark.

[Twilight]

I like how this ends, with a positive and determined statement of intent; which could allow you a route out of the vicious cycle of despair - in which you claim to be trapped. It seems as if, both broken dreams and loneliness; have taken hold in your life. I noticed how you emphasised, that a crowded environment can sometimes feel as lonely as an empty room. And, how the unknown - can either be something which we dread; or perceived as an opportunity. This poem speaks of more too, and I can tell that you have thought carefully about the words.

[Antifranticbabydoll]

Written in the middle of the night, provided by Mania.
Thank you. -M

[Samuel Dickens]

The last line is encouraging. There was a five year period in which I felt the way you describe. The despair will never end, you think, but it will and it does. You do a great job of expressing your loneliness in words.

[Antifranticbabydoll]

Thank you. -M

[Ballpark Frank]

I feel this at times. Very well written and summarized. Loneliness is very real. And sad too.

[Antifranticbabydoll]

Thank you for your review. :) --M

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

this loneliness i get. in fact, i felt it most of my life. at school i was an outcast. university, i tried a bit more socialising, it worked a bit but still i felt like i didn't belong. and after that, i tried fitting in again but that lonely emotion never left. yet, the way this poem ends gives me a bit of hope for finding my kindred spirit. if you aren't going to give up hope, neither will i.

[Antifranticbabydoll]

There are moments where I declare brokenness forever, but those are just moments and there's a bigger picture at play. I can't future trip, I can't stay in the past...The present is all we have, and we have to make the most of it. Even if the moment sucks.
Thank you for your review, as always --M

[emmajoygreen]

Such a sadness here - near enough a trap. Your words show both desperation and honesty. Whether writing out your pain will be that over-used word 'cathartic', don't know. But, here's sincerely hoping you can find a hand to hold, a friend, a place, an inspiration to help you sooner than soon

[Antifranticbabydoll]

Thank you for your review :)

[maya_online]

You know I love a good poem which uses repeating schemes (lol I use it in almost all of my work), so I love this piece, that it starts off on a bleak tone, but leads to something more hopeful at the end!

[Antifranticbabydoll]

Thank you :)