The Caterpillar

This poem I wrote while spending time in a rehab for an opiate addiction. I wrote this poem about an epiphany I had where the psychology of it all finally became somewhat clear to me.

My entire life has been mixed emotions
Swirling eternally,
Within a desolate land
And finally, ive come to understand
That I mixed em with my own hands...

But I never asked why?
Never bothered to analyze
Too busy building a disguise.
I'll always hide
Keepin the torment dormant,
Deep inside where I had to keep it.
Til the day that I died...

But something had to change
For me to break free from my constraints
To evolve into that butterfly
I always knew I was inside
Escape out into the open air, spread my wings and live my life
Always in the way was weakness...
Hide behind self deceiving pride
Head full of lies
The truth buried under the bricks of walls I built, to protect what lies inside.
The weakness lingered...
So I called the weakness strength.
Strength to hide from all my demons
Behind indestructible walls and armored tanks!
And massive armies, as far as my mind could see
I'd do whatever I deemed necessary
To defend my myself from..
All those who wanna judge me
They don't understand me
They all just pick on me...
Defend myself cuz...
Cuz...

Cuz I was weak...
How was I so blind to see?
Too weak...
Too weak to face my worst enemy
My ultimate, arch nemesis
Seemingly unbeatable adversary.
I knew everything
All the secrets
Seriously! Just ask me!
Knew all of the answers
Always held all the keys
I faced everything this fucked up world's thrown at me
With chivalry and bravery of cinema quality!
Never felt an ounce of fear,
Wearing these army fatigues...

All along this road
Now that I see,
I failed to see that...
Failed to discover that the...
True identity
Of my arch enemy was...
My ultimate, invincible adversary was really...
Was really me...

Reviews

[poetgurl]

emotional read, enjoyed the read