Heaven is just around the corner

Poem about life and death.

 

I want this night to last forever

Heaven is just around the corner

waiting for me at the gates of tomorrow

But right now are our last moments

till heaven, when we will meet again

we will begin where death has left us off

Where will tonight fall off of

the edge of our worlds

we'll become aliens to a new world

How many kisses and words can I give

each second or hour that I live

to last, unfaded, until we meet again

Now we stand inside the foyer

taking away pieces from each-other

departing our own ways

Through death's door I walk

through a lava rock torched floor

to be carried up upon: North star's starlight

Author's Note

Be honest, tell me what you think.

Reviews

[Austin Smith]

The emotion in your piece switches a lot from one of wonder to one of knowledge; I can't see that as a good thing. Your third stanza is especially evident of this. Maybe you should begin with one emotion and end with the other, or maybe just choose one for the entire poem.
But that's just my opinion. I won't rate this (yet), and I hope that you continue writing if it seems fit to you for you to do so.