If only I had listened..

(Ravin' Ink  writing group Prompt for 12/14/2024:

If only I had listened...) 

 My father was diagnosed with multiple myeloma two years ago. It’s a type of blood cancer. He had always been  healthy and active, a teetotaller all his life. He easily walked long distances and climbed stairs and pretty much continued like his younger healthy days. Our relatives and new acquaintances always marvelled at his energy and attitude. He always reminded us to be up and about early and till late night he would enjoy talking and working etc. He never took any medicines and preferred home food. Although he enjoyed his native Kerala spicy food a lot and indulged relishing them from time to time. He was always eager to know the new technology and embraced and learnt it much better than any other in his generation. How can such a person who was happy and active and flexible in his ways fall prey to such a dreadful disease after all these long years of good health, we all thought. He was never sick, not even the now common blood pressure or diabetes or any such lifestyle disease and now such a plausible psychosomatic one. How will he handle it all in his late years of life.

For a year he underwent treatment and chemotherapy.  That was a sad period for all of us. We children tried to take turns and be with him but could see him draining out in spirit.  When I was on an extended break to support my father, I discussed with him and family to shift his base temporarily to my place and that meant change his hospital too. When they agreed to try, we came down to my place and around 4 months of stay showed him to a nearby hospital dedicated to oncology. We met a senior doctor here and consulted and he gave us the same dosage of medicine and prescribed a chemotherapy routine to follow. After about two weeks we found my father really struggling with the after effects of chemo on his thin frail body. In the next appointment I asked the doctor if we could lower the dosage or any other way to ease his pain which seemed to be more destructive than the disease itself. My father would eat nothing at all. We would spend so much time cooking something he would like but he refused he did not find taste in anything.

 After a couple of tests, it was seen that chemo had a good result and the traces of malignancy had reduced well (he was in his second stage of cancer) and he was in remission. It was such a relief to know. He had to still be on this maintenance drug so cancer doesn’t strike back.  The doctor spoke to us and I asked again if we could reduce the dosage of this drug for a short break. The doctor explained that my father could altogether stop taking chemo medicine, taking it in smaller dose will be ineffective and still have big side effects. My father readily agreed to stop this treatment and wait and see what would follow in case we stopped the chemo. The doctor was supportive of my elderly father’s decision. He clearly said “let your father decide how we want to continue, he seems happier you asked his choice”.

My siblings were not in agreement especially one of them. They felt we were taking it lightly and pushing my father to a fatal future without treatment. That he was not in  his senses in order to decide for himself.  I was scared too but something strong inside me told to consider stopping it and let father live few days of break from this life giving but deadly therapy.  For a reasonable quality for the remainder of his life. In the coming days we tapered the medicine and then stopped it.

 Its been more than two years now and for most of this time my almost ‘Nonagenarian father’ is back to his usual self. He seems happier, talks at length, goes for his walks and even drives his two wheeler scooter to and fro from visiting the neighbourhood shops for errands, visits temples and local relatives and also did a couple of air and train travelling between cities visiting my siblings.. The biggest point was his attitude in recovering. He never encouraged sad talks nor did he allow us to tell people about his sickness. Also very important was that he fasted big lengths of time. Eating meagrely and fasting (if one can) helps the bad cells to die. When you eat well you gain strength ofcourse but you also feed these cancerous cells which multiply heavily into malignancy. We read about this in few articles related to living herbal and naturopathy ways to heal cancer at any stages with quiet a few success stories.

 

There is still some traces of strain of tiffs between us siblings left from those hospital decision days. Sometimes I imagine what If I had listened to my siblings/relatives ....

The expression 'if I only had listened to' usually has a negative connotation, my attempt above was to provide a positive reference to a similar such feeling.

(Anju S, Amsterdam)

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Reviews

[Arundass TP]

Cancer is something that we buy from market. In Kerala most of the things we get are poisonous because of chemical treatment. Health ministry or officials are not good at raiding and punishing. I feel Kerala has more patients than any other state in Bharat. Good writing.

[Aarti Sriram]

Thankyou dear Arundass for your kind review and for sharing your important views. To the outside world Kerala is so pristine and we feel the pinch when things are made otherwise by bad policies and rashtriyam.. We enjoy your poems, our bountiful bhoomi surely must have its magic spell in your way with words!

[Marie]

Aarti, you have narrated a truly amazing story about your beloved father in this wonderful story with a very happy ending. You tell the story so finely. I know quite a few people whom the chemotherapy killed and not the cancer that stole their lives away. At my age, I would not opt for chemotherapy. I would simply live for as long as I could and as well as I could and then, gracefully leave this world behind in favour of the next. Nobody lives forever, nor do they want to. One has to go through it to know what it's like. Nobody dies before their time comes to leave this world, of that I am certain. So happy your dear Dad is out and about and enjoying his little trips again. A very emotionally touching write! Thank you for sharing, dear Aarti...

[Aarti Sriram]

You are right Marie treatments like chemotherapies has its very heavy side effects on patients. Especially on very old people no matter how strong and healthy they were previously. It is a very wealthy blessing to live a healthy life. And if at all it will be fortunate to have diagnosed very early on with any type of ca;’ncer. It is getting so common to hear so many young and old getting inflicted and seeing crowds at every oncology departments in all the hospitals these days, very unfortunate.
Thankyou for your great advice and sharing your important views through your reviews. Happy Sunday Marie! Lots of wishes for good health and lovely time daily and more to you my dear.

[Marie]

Yes, dear Aarti, chemo and other therapies for cancer have a terrible effect on users. I know, I have been there, seven years ago. Only got the all clear on April 4, 2023.
Hope your Sunday has been a lovely, quiet, peaceful day which you enjoyed.
I wish you a very blessed and happy new week ahead too, dear Aarti.
Sending love, my dear friend 🌹🌹🌹

[Martiya Daman]

This is such a heartfelt and inspiring story. Your father’s resilience and positive attitude are truly remarkable, and your unwavering support shines through. It’s amazing to see how his decision to prioritize quality of life has led to such a wonderful recovery. Thank you for sharing this deeply personal journey Aarti—it’s both touching and motivating!

[Aarti Sriram]

Yes surely my dad showed so much resilience and we are so happy with to see him alright! Thankyou for your time and kind words dear.

[Martiya Daman]

You're welcome!