Morning

Cast me not away for I still feel the wind upon my skin

The stars still shine from where I stand

Yet thine eyes see only the flames upon my sin

Witness only to the heart in your hand

 

Bring thy faith and I shall bring myself to thee

Take the moment to feel my voice journey to your ear 

Believe the story that longed to be free

Believe in me and forsake the fear

 

Walk not in the garden of onyx with thy shadow

But allow comfort to come with my company

And begin to bear witness to our glow

As we meet with reveries beneath this canopy

 

When the star rises and sings farewell to the velvet sky

The dreams will flicker behind our eyes

Just enough for thine lips to feel my sigh

As I find what I had lost with my lies

 

Cast me not away for I still feel you upon my skin

The stars still shine from where I stand

And thy eyes see only where mine begin

Witness only to thy heart in my hand

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Copyright ©2008 Anorin Arssinous

Author's Note

Let me know what you think.

Reviews

[Gary H]

Really liked this. Just something that might help you tighten it up - this is the principle part of the poem for me -

Cast me not away for I still feel the wind upon my skin
The stars still shine from where I stand
Yet thine eyes see only the flames upon my sin
Witness only to the heart in your hand

you can change this to make it more poetic by removing the first three 'the's.

Cast me not away for I still feel wind upon my skin
Stars still shine from where I stand - makes the alliteration more pronounced.
Yet thine eyes see only flames upon my sin
Witness only to the heart in your hand - makes the last 'the' stand out more.

Maybe check out other 'the's and opening words in lines as well?

Definately is worth doing then enter a few competitons. Good luck.