Breathe

This is still not finished, but any comments will be appreciated. Thanks!

I won't pray for a second chance
Only beg for one more glance
Let me scream past these tears
And dream of these years

Maybe I won't ever wake
And all this reality was fake
Take us back to where we used to be
Where your breath still warmed me

Quiet me with your kiss
Don't lose sight of this
Open your eyes and walk back to me
Back to our sea

I won't pray for a second chance
Only beg for one more glance
Let me scream past these tears
And dream of our last years

Maybe I won't ever wake
And all this reality was fake
Take us back to where we used to be
Where your breath still warmed me




Copyright ©2008 Anorin Arssinous

Reviews

[Autumn's Child]

The words are lovely. I can definitely relate, as most readers will, to that feeling of wanting someone who doesn't want them back, screaming on the inside for them to turn around and remember why we fell in love in the first place. "Where your breath still warmed me." Lovely. I love how you repeat it, giving it emphasis. Some constructive criticism, watch your rhythm in the stanzas. It can read a bit choppy when rhyming lines have random beats.