Ember

Everything burns as I stand
Black smoke bringing night to the day
The only light born from the flames
And I watch as I stand

Ashes replace the color of our skin
Burnt flesh, the genesis of taste in our mouths
Our screaming is not heard through all the echoes
I scream as I watch
As I stand

Everything burns as we fall
To the ground, to all of you, to none of you
I cry as I watch, as I search for you
For you who does not see me
As I stand

Fallen to our knees as we gasp for air
Blood, now our only dress
You cannot hear as we call for you
You cannot hear me as I cry out for you
As I fall

Everything burns as we pray
Pray to wake from your earth
To be saved by you
I close my eyes and pray
Pray for your eyes to see mine once more
As I stood
As I fell
As I died
I opened my eyes and watched you burn as you ran to me




Copyright ©2008 Anorin Arssinous

 

Reviews

[Aria]

Interpretation is open as always but, what I saw as I wrote this was as follows: angels falling down from heaven but no one on earth could see, maybe because it was us that set heaven on fire...
The main character was in love with one of the men on earth. but he didn't make it to her. But again, open to interpretation of any kind. This is just what I was thinking of.

[Gary H]

I think this is a good poem. I was interested in my reading of it against your ideas and I was way off with my thoughts. There's a few bits you could get to read better, possibly look at the 'you's and see if they are really essential? For example - To the ground, to all, to none, I cry as I watch, as I search - this makes the idea the same but takes out some of the repetition. There's nothing wrong with repetition, it's all down to personal taste but I like to give possibilities!

[Silvario]

Loved it. Fluid, smooth and written with obvious talent. Great imagry. Well done. You have a new fan. :)

[Adela Muresan]

Well...the ending was kind of unexpected.
I liked the apocalyptic 'world' of the poem and the flow was pretty good too.

A.M.

[Pax Analog]

This is intensely riveting. I noted your intriguing additional comments.

What I felt reading this was accelerated time, the burning being mortality itself.

Of course that's the beauty of strong work, multiple meanings, as you noted yourself.

This is a gorgeously harrowing poem, an expression of a brave unflinching heart.

This fallen angel sits somberly saluting this work.

[Rhan F. Sydney]

I see colours running as in a water colour painting in this piece it's truly visual and monumental. The organization and repetition are interesting point that kept me, as a reader, from floating off into a larger vision of this carnage. Very very well done. Thank you for this entry.

[Michael X]

This strikes me as powerful and eternally envisioned, a melting of thoughts with artful illusion,
Nicely done.