Reviving memories

Sitting back in my old arm chair
Here I am at a phase of despair
Still why? it is not so clear..
Why do I still have a feeling of vanity?
of this ghastly inexplicable incontent?
Nothing more to do, nothing more to gain;
Reached the zenith in every way;
Still, I have my eyes filled with tears
There's a piece of my mind wandering aloof
With the constant desire to walk back in time
to relive the ever haunting moments of my life
which created exquisite symphonies of love
How I wish to walk, my hand grasping my dad's..
To embrace with all my heart, my mom's lullaby
To taste the delicate esters of first love..
ah the sweet, sour and the bitter..
With youthful courage throbbing in my veins
which never failed to unleash the rebel behind
Once again to feel the romance of marriage
And revive it as a whole, forever more
For admiring the toothless smile of my child
cherishing the sweet innocence of his soul
To savor the essence of a fruitful life
with the incomparable beauty of a pure heart
Even when I know it as a futile thought,
again do I wish to walk back for more..
For reviving memories, for reliving moments
yes, I do wish to walk back for more..

Author's Note

This is my very first post. please give me an honest review, friends. Am eagerly looking forward..

Reviews

[AliciaB]

This is a well-written poem that gets into some very deep emotions and thoughts. I like the use of mostly non-rhyming free verse throughout, as it allows the words to flow rapidly in an almost disorganized manner that mimics the torrent of memories and feelings you describe. The imagery throughout the piece is also very good - some of my favorite examples are "With the constant desire to walk back in time / to relive the ever haunting moments of my life / which created exquisite symphonies of love"... "To taste the delicate esters of first love.. / ah the sweet, sour and the bitter.."... "With youthful courage throbbing in my veins" (that one is probably my favorite of all)... "cherishing the sweet innocence of his soul "... "To savor the essence of a fruitful life / with the incomparable beauty of a pure heart". Overall, very nicely done. Keep up the great work!

[barleygirl]

This poem is very good, especially for a first poem. I get the idea this is an older person, looking back with longing & regret. In the opening, I did NOT get the idea this was an older person, tho. All the lines leading up to this line: "Reached the zenith in every way" really don't help me SEE where this person is in his/her life. These preceding statements are pretty vague, except for the opening line about the old arm chair. I would like to see you SHOW us what "zenith" looks like. Does the narrator brush back a lock of gray hair? Does he/she look over at the medicine bag while pondering? Give us more sensory clues to help us know what part of life, what is bringing on this regretful thinking.

Just a small detail: "feeling of vanity" (near beginning) doesn't seem to be in the same mood as the rest of the feelings being expressed. It doesn't really make sense in this context.

Starting with this line: "How I wish to walk, my hand grasping my dad's" . . . this is where your poem starts to really come alive. This is where you start using details & specifics, painting word pictures so we can get the look & feel of this person's life. This is when we realize it must be an older person, becuz of all the things that have been done in his/her life. I'd say this sounds about 90% like it's written by a person who regularly speaks/writes English, so there's not much unusual phrasing, as sometimes happens.

All in all, great effort, looking forward to seeing what else you have to offer soon.