Chapter 1: To Have Loved and Lost

On a whim, I decided to write a zombie apocalypse novel. I realise it's cliche, but I hope to put a unique spin on it. I'll focus on character development and the theme of what it means to be human

Alfred Lord Tennyson famously said “Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all”. As a man who had loved and lost, Nathan Atwood knew better.

Given the chance to travel through time, he knew that he would not bother with such petty endeavours as saving Kennedy or stopping Hitler’s rise to power. If he could turn back the clock there would be no carrying of warnings about passenger jets and towers, no buying of lottery tickets with numbers he knew to be winners. Instead he would pay a visit to the younger, happier Nathan of six years ago (‘Nate’, back then. These days nobody called him Nate) and keep him from ever meeting the woman who would otherwise become the love of his life. It would save him from more heartache and pain, more grief and stress than he could fathom. From how many nightmares would he have been spared if he had gone his entire life completely oblivious and unaware of the age-old staple of poets, musicians and writers alike: love?

Unfortunately time-travel remained confined to the realm of fiction for the time being. And although Nathan certainly never took the idea seriously, he knew from personal experience that what was considered ridiculous and improbable could very easily become a reality. Everybody knew that now.

Of course, the circumstances of Nate’s loss would have been considered shocking, outlandish, and even downright impossible up until twelve months ago. Certainly it would have been so when Tennyson put pen to paper and spawned the blasted cliché. Nate's story was one of thousands, if not millions just like it across the country. Maybe even across the world. There was no way of knowing how widespread the apocalyptic chaos had become. Nathan wasn’t even sure if he cared. All that mattered was that his world - his safe, stable, comfortable world was now in ruins. And he was watching it crumble alone. The Nathan before love could have faced it with some semblance of bravery, of determination to carry on. But he had come to depend on that woman, and now that she was gone he was a broken man. He had loved and lost, and he was weaker for the experience.

 

"I had a job, I had a girl. Had somethin' going, Mister, in this world; wasn't that a Bruce Springsteen line?" he mused as the couch groaned underneath his weight.

"You wanna groan, do ya Couchie? You got nothin' to complain about" quipped the part of him that still had a sense of humour, albeit a sarcastic and ever-so-slightly cruel one. The couch, unsurprisingly said nothing.

"I wonder where Bruce is now. Where all those celebrities are now, for that matter. Holed up in their mansions, perhaps? I guess a lot of them must be dead. Dead or turned. Strange to think about that. I wonder if ole' Brad spent his last moments having his face chewed off by Angelina, or if becoming a mumbler made Meatloaf look better or worse."

The employee breakroom of the supermarket was silent except for a lone fly buzzing across the room, alternating between ramming itself into the filthy window and the front of the even-filthier vending machine, which had long since been emptied of everything edible. There was also the sound of the other seventy-odd ragged men, women and children who comprised the makeshift community living out of the supermarket going about their daily business: taking inventory of the dwindling supplies, nailing wooden boards and corrugated iron across windows and back doors, or else sobbing quietly in corners and getting into brawls over bottles of booze.

And finally, if you listened carefully enough, you could just about hear the perpetual drone of the hordes outside. The endless swarms of slow, clumsy 'mumblers' who hunted in packs and the faster, nimbler, rarer 'wailers' who stalked the city streets alone.

But for the most part, the breakroom was quiet. Just as Nathan liked it. It gave him a room in which to while away the hours until either the place was overrun, the military got its s**t together and saved them, or he gathered the courage to hang himself by his belt and the ceiling fan.

He would have liked to have some whiskey to accompany him, but the alcohol rations in this 'community' were strict to say the least and he didn't feel like fighting some burly drunk to take his liquid sunshine. He'd attempted that once, and thrown his back out trying to get free from a full nelson.

So he slept. Fifteen hours a day, usually. Sometimes it was longer, but sometimes the nightmares kept him awake. Sometimes it was like the haunting visions knew that sleep was his only total escape from the horrors of the apocalypse, and so strived to keep it from him. They showed him the warm, dark folds of unconsciousness; they dangled it in front of his face and then snatched it away in a flurry of traumatic memories and inner demons. Sometimes. Most of the time he simply slept.

He ate as little as possible to avoid leeching off the community. Any more and they might try to make him earn his keep like every other able-bodied person here: tending the rooftop vegetable gardens or rationing supplies if you were lucky. Venturing out into the streets looking for help, or else burying the corpses that littered the parking lot if you weren't.

But for now they were willing to accomodate Nathan, so long as he didn't cause trouble. They didn't ask anything of him, and he asked only the bare minimum of them. It worked just fine for Nathan, but of course it couldn't last forever.

Reviews

[Phantom.Bite]

This is kind of a hard read because it is not indented. I would also double space between paragraphs. Plus, you need comas after unfortunately, certainly and if not millions. There are a few more that need comas and a few that need to lose their comas. Also, in many Writing/English classes you learn not to start sentences with the F.A.N.B.O.Y.S. Other than then that, I enjoyed your story. I liked how you used parentheses, it really makes a reader feel more at home in the story :)

[AnonymousLad]

Thank you for taking the time to read and review. I appreciate you pointing out my errors.
Strange thing about the parentheses, others have told me they weaken my writing, so I'm sort of in two minds about whether to use them or not :p

[Phantom.Bite]

I think that since it is a zombie novel that it will be focused on a more teen based audience in which case the parentheses are a plus :) If teens didn't like to relate to the story than writers like James Patterson would be out of a job lol so I wouldn't worry too much

[Cynical_Art]

Love the first chapter. Great job characterizing Nate, just from the examples of what he'd do if he could time travel (not prevent Hitler but simply relive his moment of love) you could take a lot from the character. He's certainly no hero, just a man who wants to be happy, and I think that's what makes him so interesting. Will definitely keep giving this a read

[Horizon K.]

Really interesting ... Totally selfish, depressed, flawed and very well drawn character.. The more interesting types of course. Certainly something will move into his life and revive him as the story progresses? Well written and easy to envision. It could benefit from a more hooking ending though.

[AnonymousLad]

Thank you very much! I understand what you mean about the ending. I wanted to keep my chapters short, so I sort of cut it off prematurely. I'll try and change the ending a bit.

[frakkevin]

very nice twist on a zombie tale, reading forward. though his name kills me, the good really outweighs the bed.

[AnonymousLad]

Thanks a lot! The Percy vs Percival thing is singnificant to the story, symbolic of his mindset and such, but I guess I could replace it with any name that has a shortened version. I'll give it some thought.

[frakkevin]

it's your story, I'll accept it. I'm more simple when it comes to names. I rarely want the reader to waste time trying to remember or pronounce my character names

[AnonymousLad]

I'm totally open to changing his name - in fact I'm starting to have doubts about it myself. How about Andrew/Andy? or Michael/Mike

[frakkevin]

Andy Andrew

[DarkCrono15]

Just from reading this chapter I'd have to say you are a really talented writer! Your sentence structure is awesome and the way you describe everything is really well thought out. Personally I also liked that this chapter wasn't really long, I'm a bit of a lazy reader. Sometimes shorter chapters lack depth, but I didn't think yours did.

I'm going to add this to my list of things to read. As of now I don't really have any constructive criticism, keep up the good work!

[AnonymousLad]

Thank you very much for your kind words! I have been trying to keep my chapters short, since having huge slabs of text to read through can be quite daunting for people. I'm glad to see that it's having the desired effect.

[Elizabeth Rose Diaz]

I like your writing style. It's very easy-going and I love your tone. Remember when transitioning into quotes that you have smooth transition. Set the atmosphere so the reader isn't confused as to what is going on.

Also try not to use parenthesis because it weakens your writing.

Otherwise, I love the start of the story. I would love to read more.

[AnonymousLad]

Thank you very much! I'll work on the areas you mentioned.

[Xavier Alexander]

Wow. is all I've got to say. This is absolutely brilliant. You have got to continue writing this. The way you write is excellent. It is so comfortable to read. I can tell that you know what you're doing. Just don't stop. This story has got a lot of potential. Keep it up.

[AnonymousLad]

My first review on this site! Relieved that it's a good one. Thank you very much, I hope I can keep up the good work for the rest of this story.