Haunted

Haunted

A Poem by Melissa

 

Haunted, it's just a word.

Ghosts, they're just a thing.

Death is just a state of being,

Like living just a bit more freeing.

 

Beauty, it's just a word.

Men, they're just a thing.

Love is just a feeling,

Like boredom from staring at the ceiling.

 

I love a ghost.

I moved here and found him.

I love a ghost.

He scared me, then charmed me.

 

 

I am haunted by him,

By his love, by my love for him.

I haunt him, his endless days,

His endless nights.

 

Years gone passed,

My love for him is still strong.

I see him still like he is real,

I can touch him like he is still real...

 

 

Though he is dead, his touch is warm.

Every touch of his sends wonderful chills down my spine.

He spends nights pleasuring me for pleasure...

 

 

His skin is tangibly smooth, soft, and supple.

His muscles, lean and strong...

 

His voice, heavenly...

 

 

I love a ghost and he loves me.

© 2008 Melissa


Author's Note

Melissa
Any criticism and needed edits please message to me, everything else you can put in a review.

My Review

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Reviews

You established a beautiful rhythm in the first few stanzas, but the more I read, the more the rhythm was lost. By the end, it had been lost entirely. It was up until the third stanza that your rhythm was most notable; after that, it was a bit cliched.

Of course, rhythm isn't everything. There are many more commentable aspects to poetry.

Unfortunately, flow tends to run with rhythm. By the end, the flow was a bit lacking, as well.

Your simplistic word choice, however, did help this piece along. I like how you used words that any reader could easily understand.

The idea of this piece is a strange one. In love with a ghost? That's quite unique, indeed.

Posted 16 Years Ago


i loved it but the only sentence i didnt get was "He spends nights pleasuring me for pleasure..."

it could be a different word for the second pleasure so it still make sence and you wont have a ummm yeah that thing lol sorry forgot the word

great poem

-Aaron

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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Jeb
"Death is just a state of being,
like living just a bit more freeing."
Great poem, I love it.

Thanks for the review too. I don't know what "Jesus Christ Superstar" is but I'll look into it.

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on May 6, 2008
Last Updated on May 23, 2008

Author

Melissa
Melissa

NY



About
I've been around for 20 years now and am majoring in Music History and Culture at Syracuse University. Sometimes I write, sometimes I don't, and whether or not it's any good, I can never tell. And my .. more..

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