Chapter 1 The Nightmare

"Hide, hide he's coming." I whispered,"If he finds us we're done for." Out of breath we hid. "What does he want from us?" Asked my brother, tears welling up in his eyes,"I don't know." I replied. I was scared I, didn't know what he wanted but I had a feeling he was after me, and if he is after me I would have to get my brother, and twin sister out of there, but then suddenly out of nowhere came this blinding light, I started to look around I saw that the room had a dim light coming from a lamp on a corner of a room, I also saw dusty boxes sitting around the corner and there was a broken vase sitting on a ashy fireplace which still had some burnt wood and it looked like it had something living under it, and then I saw it, I saw where the light was coming from and it was coming from my amulet. The amulet that my mother gave me for my birthday. It looked like a head with horns and it had a weird symbol on its forehead I remember asking her what it was, she said it was a protection, at first I didn't believe her, but now I take that back.


"TJ, WAKE UP! TJ!", screamed Ella. "Ugh, what do you want El, and what time is it?", I asked, Ella is my twin sister, but I call her El. "Well for your information you were having another nightmare, and its 6:45, so get ready for school." Thats when I realized I was sweating, I keep having these nightmares and they're always so vivid. I got up, and looked at my amulet, it was rusty, like it always is, but when I touched it, it was hot,"Hmm, thats weird." I said, to no one in particular,"What's weird?" Asked my sister, "Nothing", I replied, I began thinking about my dream, and how my amulet started to shine, but I shrugged that thought off. I got up and started looking for my school uniform, I couldn't find it anywhere I looked under my bed, in the laundry, as I was looking in my closet I realized that we had a mirror behind the closet, I'm pretty sure we didn't have that before, I thought. As I moved the closet I noticed that it looked a bit weird, for it had a golden frame and it was an oval shape, it looked a bit rusty even though it should've been dusty, I looked at the mirror and I saw that I was wearing my uniform, which was also weird since I remember going to sleep in my boxers, and I noticed how untidy my brunette hair was , I started thinking about my dream and realized that in the nightmare I was wearing my uniform. I began freaking out, even though I was supposed to be getting ready for school, I started thinking more and more about my dream. "No forget about it, you need to get ready, the bus will be here in ten minutes." I said out loud.

All through the bus ride, I kept thinking of my dream and how many things were true, I kept having this theory where my sister and I were adopted cause we don't look like our parents at all, but thats not true since they showed us our birth certificate, but there is just something not right about my parents they just don't feel like they are my real parents, it feels like they're hiding something from us, cause every time they look at me and my sister they start to give us this eerie smile and begin whispering to each other like they're plotting something. And I once woke up to find them just staring at me.
"Hey what's wrong?" Asked Ella, I looked her in the eyes I was afraid to tell her what I really felt so I just replied with nothing. We picked up a few more students, and then it was time to pick up my best friends Cassie and Chris, they are identical twins as well, and to be honest Cassie is the most beautiful girl I've seen with her golden hair and how it bounces whenever she walks, and how she is always kind and sticking up for people, she might be the bravest girl I know, but she's my best friend and I don't want to make it awkward for us. "So are you guys going to the game tonight?" Asked Chris,"Wouldn't miss it for the world." Replied Ella, I didn't really want to go but I had to support my school.

I wanted to ditch first and second period, because science and algebra will not help us in life, right? While I was sitting through third period, I was called to the principle's office, I looked around me at the class, I had a habit of going to the principles office, I was the bad boy, and I haven't been there for a whole week. I kept thinking of anything that I could've done that would make me be called to the principle's office, but nothing popped up, as I entered I saw a guy who seemed familiar, I felt as if I met him before, they were talking about something that I couldn't quite make out what they were talking about, finally the principle noticed me,"Tyler, long time no see, eh.", said the principle,"I hope it stays that way." I laughed, even though the principle sighed at my remark, the guy next to him laughed, "Tyler do you know Mr. Hastings?" Asked the principle,"No sir." I replied."Well he is a detective, and he needs to ask you a couple of questions, he also needs your help since you know this person don't worry you're not in trouble." I became doubtful, for he had a become skeptical of the situation, but if I wanted some answers I had to go with it,"So what do you say?" I replied hesitantly,"I-I'm in." They noticed that I was trembling, and then it hit me, know I know why he's so familiar, he was the man we were running from in my dream. "May I go now?" I asked, feerfully.

So I ran through the hallway, past my class, and went up to the roof, and that's were I let a small sob escape me.

Author's Note

End of chapter 1

Reviews

[Myenigma]

It could be improved.

"Out of breath we hid." can be "out of breath we hid under the bed" something more descriptive and
" tears welling up in his eyes" can be
"while covering his swelling eyes"

It becomes more natural afterwards. Third paragraph needs work.

In the second paragraph you reveal two things. The " and how my amulet started to shine" seems like an important revelation but it's usually thrown in there.-edit i read in the first paragraph the mother gave it to him lol, but the idea of why copper glows or the bracelet in particular should eventually be explained,. edit 2 to take away the paranoia or focus of the glowing amulet by the character you could also say a sun beam entered the window blinds and distracted his eyes.. thus he believed it was a reflection and disregarded the glowing amulet and moved on.. it also shows the characters intuition.

The second revelation " we had a mirror behind the closet" which is a mysterious revelation, is good because the character does not know what it is, and neither will the readers know, unless they find out before the character, but with this revelation we don't even know if tyler is still dreaming etc..

Keep writing and have fun doing so. Focus on your story, imagery, character characteristics and other relations or revelations of the plot.

[Rama Masri]

Thank you for your opinion, this is my first story I will perhaps use some of your details and edit them into the story, and again thank you.

[MaximumFlight]

Wonderful story; can't wait to read more :)

[Mortimer Brewster]

you are going in the right direction. you could have been a little more descriptive on some points but nicely composed. looking forward to chapter 3.

[Wajiha Nayeem]

it's too long but still i just loved it....so much of interesting stuff in this and i just enjoyed it..truly!

[Redboy]

Really good strart! I like the way the beginning starts with a bang and holds your interest. Good job and i hope to read more : )

[Surya]

Ohh...that was beautiful....
I enjoyed your write as much as mine...
Characters, and dreams...I liked it..:)

[Mother Nature]

I love it, very descriptive details, focus on the charaters though, overall I loved it, keep up the good work.

[College_guy]

Very mature, focus more on giving the characters more time to relize who they are, amazing work keep it up.

[Akasha Rayne]

Overall I like it so far. If it would fit your style, I saw a work yesterday where the author varied the characters just saying something and the characters talking while doing an action. I agree with yazeed-kun, more character development would add another level to your story. Keep up the good work!

[Yazeed-kun]

I really liked it, although it felt a bit rushed it need more introducing the characters and a little inbetweens so it doesnt jump straight into the action

[Rama Masri]

Thank you for the review, I will focus on that more in the future.