Maybe

My parents are going through a divorce and this is my reflection on it.

I don't understand
I can't sleep
It's getting harder to eat
They make me feel cynical

But I do it for her
The individual who matters the most
The one who rescues me from the instability of nightmares
The uncertainty of life

They render me corrupt
They believe I have abandoned them
Have I?
Am I so oblivious to my actions

I never wanted this to happen
I never wanted to see you go
But I didn't do this
And I still refuse to believe this is it

I can't fathom the end
The end of a promise
Of an oath
But more significantly, a family

Maybe this will fortify me
Maybe this will annihilate me
Maybe I'm a savior
Or maybe I am
In the words of a loved one
"An abandoner"

Author's Note

I would appreciate any feedback!

Reviews

[jessicamarie19]

Hi Zack,

I have sympathy for your situation and am glad that you are investigating the emotional side through poetry. You have done good work so far. I think you have the framework for a great piece!

I would suggest that you really push your creative side with this piece. For example, instead of using two lines to say "it's getting harder to eat/they make me feel cynical" ... what if you experimented with a new way to convey both of these issues in one cohesive thought. As they are, they feel somewhat unrelated to one another - can you explain to the reader how they go together, why they belong in the same stanza? For example - "it is difficult to survive solely/on a diet of force-fed cynicism". You have endless options. Take advantage to play with them.

Your final stanza is killer (in the good way!) I am not sure that the rest of the piece holds up to it yet. The potential is there, the emotion is there. A good exercise is to make a list (like, "10 things I feel about my parent's divorce") then turn each one into a statement with the form "__________ is like __________" and fill in the blank with an image... maybe it's like a rug being pulled out from under you, or maybe it's like flaming photo albums, etc. Lists are an excellent thought exercise to harness your own creativity.

Thank you so much for sharing your pieces and your writing on this site. For 15, you have the makings of an excellent writer. I hope that you continue!

[erikaguest]

There's a real depth to this that builds towards the ending. Especially the last verse. The question 'Have I?' works really well, I like that you've placed it in the centre of the poem - as if its a sudden realization between thoughts. Really nice work :)

[XXXXXXXXX]

Wow. I won't ask because this seems personal.