I Should be Happy but Im Not

2011

I should be happy but I'm not,
I've found something new; once again the choice is mine,
what to do.
Stuck in this rut, now its my chance to get out.
I just sit and see, waiting to find what this out come might be.
I should be happy but I'm not.
You still come to my mind, even after I tell myself no,
why cant I just let you go?
I have not one good reason to stay, and
yet every reason to walk away.
I should be happy, but I'm not.
All of the reason I had, now doesn't mean a thing to me,
All because of what you have made me be.
Torn, ripped, broken, from every word you've ever spoken.
I toss and turn, I fail and learn.
I should be happy, but I'm not.
When the lights darken, my mood saddens.
You start to hear sounds of weep,
tears start to fall from cheeks.
The air turns cold while waiting for my thoughts try to unfold.
I try to be happy... but I just cant.
I'm full of sorrow.
If only happiness I could barrow.