Chapter 4: Addiction

So what's your addiction?

The pain, the emptiness, or the high?

Maybe we all just want to feel alive.

So cut up to your arms,

restrict your foods,

and take hit after hit.

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I feel like a drug addict and I'm positive I look like one. But I care not about my appearance because he cares not about me. My bed in indented with the shape of my body. I watch tv alot, which is something I never do.

Vampire movies, I've seen about all of them. From Dracula to Twilight, the one thing they all have in common is lust....love. A superpower I wish to posses. But immortality? Besides Josh, I want to die more than anything right now.

I showed up at an addiction anonyms meeting that Monday. I sat among the alcholics and meth addicts. Truth is, we're all the same. Kathy was the overseer and she spoke as the people around her scratched their arms wishing to be elsewhere.The difference was, there addiction was right on the corner. I could never have what I wanted most.

Kathy quieted us from all of our story sharing, "We all have our problems but the purpose of group theropy is to share among everyone. It's simple, when the tiki gets to you, talk about yourself."

The tiki looked like maccoroni art made by a five year old but once it layed in your hands, your secrets were revealed.

Mark had a drinking problem. Although he was only a few months past 21, he'd been an alcholic for years. When he was told to describe himself, 'dangerous' was all he said. He was the only one that talked to me. To be drug-addicts, these people were stuck-up. Or maybe they were too afraid of catching what the other one had.

Mark caught me after class. "Your no alcholic." he stated. Had I been that obvious? Maybe not. I chose drinking because it was common and there wasn't much questioning on the matter. "So what's the real addiction? Drugs? Gambling? Sex?"

"A guy." I was sure not to disclose much information to a stranger.

"So sex?' he asked again.

"No, it's much more than that."

He didn't say anything else except for goodbye when we parted our ways in the parking lot.

Cindy, a cocaine addict, parked next to me. I watched as she drew a line into her nose. Obvious to anyone walking by. She sat almost lifeless in her front seat and when I knocked on her window, she jumped.

Rolling down the window just enough to talk to me, she pleaded, "Please don't tell!'.

"I'm not." I promised, "I just want to ask you something."

"Anything." she assured.

"Can I have some of that?" I asked pointing toward the white bag resting on her console.

Like a mother, she was reluctant to share her child. But like a mother, she didnt want it taken from her.

I didn't think about Josh the rest of that night. When I awoke in my bed that morning (not knowing how I'd gotten there), I realized something. I had found a new escape. I had found my new addiction.

Reviews

[kasanova]

dammnn. I don't know if this is a true story. I been there on the alcoholic phase.

[Rae CJ]

Great last Chapter! I couldn't stop reading and I'm glad I didn't. You have amazing talent when is comes to writing! The description is there and it is above and beyond anything else I have ever read!