Adrift

Happy New Year...may all those dreams floating about come to rest upon safe sandy shores...ready to be rescued

Tonight I cast my sins, fears, tumultuous thoughts
upon the vast inky waters of this bottomless ocean
sending them to drift along the turbulent raging tides
to wash up upon your pristine sundrenched shore
buried on a coastal beach of bleached salty sand
to shrivel under the sweltering gaze of unrelenting
sun

 

perhaps you will hear the primal wails in sheer agony
perhaps you will pick and weigh them in your palm
perhaps you will rescue, cleanse, hold them close
perhaps you will breathe new life in purification
perhaps, you may even learn to live with them
perhaps you could learn to love them, part of
me

 

maybe the new year will bring release
maybe it will come in time to let go
maybe I will finally be set free to

be

Reviews

[Dream Weaver]

A magnificent convergence of a beleaguered soul
searching for solace in a cruel world. Nicely done..

[Robin]

perhaps .. raise anchor and see

love this ..

[Esoteric Strand]

I’m not sure if anyone else remarked on this, but I for one, found the concrete poetry element of this piece to be clever without feeling contrived.

My only issue is with the opening stanza which, like Torrent Of Tears, relies too heavily upon tired descriptions of one thing:

‘Cast, vast inky waters, bottomless ocean, drift, turbulent, raging tides, wash up, shore, coastal, beach, salty, sand.’

I think the maxim Less Is More might apply here. Polish it up and the poem would probably get a higher score.

Regards,

E

[Nobody.]

powerful piece: a poetic baptism of sort to wash clean anything that might impede of from being reborn into the purest version of oneself. beautifully written.
cheers!
R.G.

[Jennifer Lenhardt]

this is beautifully written. it made me feel as though i just wanted to wash out to sea, to let the tide take me.

[OT]

great way to welcome the new year here, idea of letting go! to embrace new things!

[Emily B]

so much depends upon
perhaps :)

[mir]

The perfect opportunity for us to open our hands and let go of what we have been stubbornly gripping onto for so long, and to reach upward and grasp onto a new beginning while enjoying a new, fresh breath of air into the new year! Motivating right!

[Poetic Beauty]

This is a great way to describe letting go of the things that you can't change and releasing the terrible feelings that go along with it. this poem is very descriptive and allows me to picture this even happening in my mind.

[.]

. amen ... and i absolutely agree with corey ... he is so right ... i seriously didn't wait to be set free ... except by all my amazing friends here in the cafe ... and of course ... em ... without whom even freedom means nothing ... my absconding soul mate does not succeed in getting to me because of her and all the love that i am surrounded by ... be brave ... and have a spectacular new year ... for all of us ... :) ...