Torrent of Tears

...and sometimes you make me cry..

I cried for you, for us today
silently emptied 
my heart, my soul
into a storm of tears
which I am sending to you
as a message in the shifting shape
of cleansing, nourishing
colorless rain
I want to soak you with
the intensity of loving dreams
wrapped safely in a downpour
I beg that when
those first rains come
delivered desperately
on the weeping wind
falling in splatters at your feet
you'll remember that it’s only me
whispering, speaking, calling you
with deep intent
through this, our secret
but symbolic code
drink me in, welcome my wishes
raining so plentiful upon your face
each little drop, a shimmering tear
of scintillating thoughts
in warm embrace
-  feel me, my presence, near

 

I know too, that you hold
within the safety of your palm
a map of our world
with precise directions
to our heaving hearts
and in reality, on that global map
we are but a single hand apart
I will wait, willingly
with purposeful patience
for the seven seas to rise
fed from rivers forged
by waters  from my eyes
and I hope that in good time
you will rediscover
that treasured map
try to find a way
through heavy rains
and troubling fears
seeking for the source
of  those very tears

Author's Note

Reviews

[Esoteric Strand]

Comparing tears to rain?
This poem quickly overdosed on ways to describe the aqueous nature of tears: cried, storm, tears, cleansing, rain, downpour, rains, weeping wind, splatters, raining, each little drop, rivers, heavy rains, fears, tears.

It’s like we get it already. I hate to say it, but this poem is over-killing something that’s been over-done a zillion times before.

How do we fix it? My first bit of advice would be to find other ways of saying the same thing. Lose all the wet-related words, or at least cut them by three-fourths. This would be a massive step in the right direction.

Regards,

E

[.]

the first stanza just came alive as I read it..the wonderful metaphors..rain..pouring out of emotions..the second stanza brings the hope..a beautiful creation

[.]

. ah, beautiful ... this poem is a road map (loved all your map references) to a mid-sea rescue operation that plays like a loving song ... and the track is phenomenal ... i heard roy orbison after a long time today ... and i thank thee for refreshing my memory ... what a voice ... and what amazing song writing ... and you excel as you do justice to the mood and flow of the track and the moment which inspired you to write ... ravishing poetry, inkcognito ... very magical and healing ...

[James Paulin]

Some things are worth waiting for and then some are just best to move beyond. I like the sentiments you have expressed and the form used enhances the message.

[Linear]

In dreams I walk with you, many are the tears shed out of love for that special one, your poem brings your emotion out so well

[BlackEctoplasm85]

what a wonderful poem ..i really felt the torrents of tears...send me some of em too:)

[Patient Poet (Yos)]

Oh my this is such a beautiful longing poem , come from very deep inside your bleeding heart . wonderfully written , almost want me to cry , with you , and feel ther rivers with more tears ... until one day , the tears will dry , the river will no longer be an option , and you will find yourself happy again , with good memories of the love that will never be back .. smile , laugh ... you are so wonderful when you grin :) ... Yossi

[serpent]

a hand's distance...seems so close and yet uncoverable, sometimes...this is sadness expressed in a beautiful way, ink...
" will wait, willingly
with purposeful patience
for the seven seas to rise
fed from rivers forged
by waters from my eyes"

these lines are mesmerizing...
an astounding piece and it's beauty and impact cant be expressed in words...

[Poetic Beauty]

This poem is very descriptive and the imagery is a bit heavy and sad but still stunning. So far away. Will they return? This poem has a great intensity to it and the thought and emotions are easy for the reader to put themselves in the place of the narrator. Amazing job on this whole piece.

[SpokenWord]

Only one hand away on a map, wow that is really far! but I like how you made it seem so close as only a hand away. People think rain is bad but in reading this poem rain is not only good it can hold messages past down from loving tears. A wonderful write!